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Laughter Sweeps the White
House
President Bush tells Secretary Rice the one
about Cheney & the bear
Karl Rove has declared it so,
and the Bush administration is in total agreement: Dick Cheney's shooting of
an old man is the funniest thing that's ever happened in the history of the
White House.
As is traditional, Bush got to
throw out the ceremonial first joke, which he did this morning at a
breakfast conference with Republican Senators. "Orange, you know, you've got
to wear orange. It means don't shoot me, I'm not a bird." A couple of
senators chuckled politely.
Kicking it up a notch, spokesman
Scott McClellan jumped into the fray at
this mornings press briefing. Discussing the president's upcoming
meeting with the University of Texas football team, he stuck with his boss's
orange theme, quipping "The orange they're wearing is not because they are
concerned that the vice president will be there." With his audience still
shaking with laughter, he pointed to his tie (which, get this, was orange)
and followed up with "Although that's why I'm wearing it, so hopefully none
of y'all will --''
"None of us will what, jerkoff?"
shouted one cheeky correspondent, and the guffawing continued to rock the
room.
The star of the show was not to
be outdone. Speaking of the incident for the first time, he told radio host
Laura Ingram "It's just me, Laura. I'm a little awkward. My wife likes to
say that I'm so clumsy that when we go dancing, I'm likely to trip over the
light fantastic. You should have seen old Harry's face, though. He looked as
confused as Michael Jackson in a hardware store. Or a gun store. Something
masculine."
The laughter died down a bit
this afternoon after the administration learned that Whittington had just
suffered a non-fatal heart attack caused by birdshot which had lodged in his
heart. "What a terrible week for Dick," empathized Defense chief Donald
Rumsfeld. "Looks like if they don't burn him for Plamegate, they'll end up getting him
on this for negligent manslaughter. I know he just feels terrible. I heard
that he attempted suicide last night but was such a bad shot that he missed
himself entirely."
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