Today's Topic: I Married A Dog!
Katy Hipke & Mark Hoback
Do we have a topic for today? Did you know
that yesterday in India a
girl
married a stray dog to ward off the evil eye? The whole village
partied for 3 days, as with any wedding, like it was 1555! I'll bet that dog
is the envy of feral beast world. The girl is only 6 years old. He has a
chance to really mold her into the kind of woman every dog
dreams of having. Much sitting around the ole hut scratching themselves and
each other in relative silence. Eating. Sleeping. This is exactly the sort
of marriage that works. Only one thing could fuck it up: a cat moves into
the neighborhood. Or squirrels.
Still, if we could marry off more 6 year olds to stray dogs, it would take a
big load off the animal shelters. Load up the ole Animal Control/Evil Eye
Eliminator van full of 'Eligible Bachelors' and cruise
the kindergartens. I love weddings.
What do you love, Mark?
-katy
Oh gosh, Katy, I guess I love the same things
you do - dogs, weddings, and alcohol.
You know, taking a dog for your betrothed is
nothing to look down upon; I'm sure you know plenty of people who have done
the same thing. And little Shivam Munda's parents had a perfectly good
reason to believe that the evil eye was staring straight at them. After all,
the girl's upper teeth appeared before her lower ones, and if that isn't a
sign of bad hoodoo, I don't know what is. But what type of dog was it? If it
was a German Sheppard, then this is one sick story. But if it was a Shitzu
or one of those darling
Bichon Frises, it would really be kind of sweet. Context is everything,
don't you think?
Still, you did say stray, so I guess that
must have been a real disappointment to the family. I know I'd be upset if
my daughter married anyone without a pedigree. No bragging about how your
son-in-law is a successful Doberman; no, it's 'my son-in-law is a mutt'.
Life is a bitch, eh?
-mark |
