 Knock
Knock
Knock
Knock
Hey, Hamid... Hamid... Open the door, Hamid.
 Hold
on. Just a minute.. Jeez, what time is it... Coming.... Just let me get my
robe... grumble... Boosh! George Boosh! What are you doing here?
Surprise!
How you doing, Hamid... Wha'd I do? Catch you sleeping?
Well,
it is three o'clock in the morning, so if I were slumbering it should come
as no shock. But, uh, welcome. Welcome to democratic Afghanistan. Won't you
please come in.
Don't
mind if I do. Hold a sec... Hey Laura, get out of the car. He's home...
Oh,
the first lady is here too? What a surprise. A lovely surprise, but a
surprise none the less.
 Surprise!
Oh
yes, surprise. This is indeed a surprise. May I say that you look as lovely
as ever.
Why
yes you may, Hamid, but don't be shocked if George decides to put your ass
in a sling.
Heh,
heh, heh, that wife of mine. That's some mouth she has on her, isn't it.
Heh,
heh, yes. I would describe it as a very kissable mouth, if I may be so bold.
I'd
think twice about that, Hamster. I'll have my troops out of this country so
fast it'll make your head spin. Hey, I've got a couple other folks with me
that you know. Come on in, Rummy.
Surprise!
Oh
my, the surprises keep on coming, don't they? Let me have my manservant
bring us all some coffee... We need java, Tattoo.
Right away, boss.
We
brought you a little something, Hamster. It's a little symbol of the
friendship between America and the Afghani people.
 Uh,
very nice Mister President. It's, uh... my goodness, just what is this
object!
 It's
a Slinky, you moron. Surprise!
Mister
Dick Cheney, I did not hear you come in. Ahh, I suppose my guards are
sleeping on the job again. But thank you very much for the Slinky.
It's
not just any old Slinky, either. It's the fiftieth anniversary edition. Gold
plated. You know, now that you've got a democracy, you're gonna find that
you have a lot more time for fun and recreation. And for fun, it's hard to
beat a Slinky... Boy... I'm famished. Think you could rustle up some grub?
I'm
sure that we can do much better than grubs, Mister President. Tattoo!
I'm
coming, boss. Your coffee is almost ready. Five more minutes.
Very
good, Tattoo. Now if you would be so kind, would you fix us all something to
eat. Our guests are very hungry after their journey from America.
I'd
appreciate it if you could whip us some chicken wings while your at it,
little fella. I've got a bunch of hungry guards outside, and I don't think
there's an open pizza joint in all of Kabul.
Grrr...
I'll see what I can do, boss's boss.
And
maybe a couple of chicken thighs for Barney.
Where
is Barney, anyway?
Screw
Barney.
The
last I saw Barney, he was outside playing with Bono.
Surprise! And look who I've got with me.
 Arf.
Arf arf arf.
Isn't
that cute? He's saying 'Surprise!'
Whoa.
I've had about as many surprises as a man can take in one day. Please
forgive me as I now return to bed in preparation for a very busy day.
Go
for it, Hamster. I'm sure that we can make ourselves right at home
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