 Read
any good surveys lately? You should. Here's a new one from the
McCormick Tribune Freedom Museum, a random survey of 1000 adults on what
five rights are contained in the First Amendment. As a comparative
guideline, the survey also asked respondents to name the five members of the
Simpson family, match five companies with their advertising slogans, and
name the three judges on American Idol.
The survey shows that while most Americans are
familiar with their First Amendment rights, they show a shocking ignorance
of the Simpson family components. Only about one in four (28%) were able to
name more than one Simpson (most common responses - Bart and Homer),
contrasted to the fifty-four (50) percent who were able to identify two or
more provisions of the first amendment (most common responses - freedom of
religion and freedom to have pets). Around 20% (twenty percent) of
respondents were able to name all five rights, but a shocking and
statistically insignificant two responders (2%) could name all five
Simpsons. Only four percent (.04) was able to identify Boomhauer as a family
member.
Results for the other cultural touchpoints
were equally disturbing. Although a significant portion of respondents could
somewhat describe two of the American Idol hosts ('the chick' and 'the mean
guy'), less than 10% could actually name them. Interestingly, zero percent
(0.00%) were able to name Randy Jackson.
As for the advertising slogans, researcher
Dave Anderson has this to say. "Oy vey, forget about it. This study will
shake up the industry. It proves that as enjoyable as commercial advertising
is, it really doesn't make much of an impact on anyone. The few feeble minds
it does manage to reach are so dim that they probably don't have any
expendable capital anyway."
Columbia University law professor Michael
Dorf called the results distressing. "It's just not that big a deal to know
that freedom of the press, speech, religion and those other two are
protected by the 1st Amendment," he says, shaking his head in obvious
disgust. "It's not like that sort of thing is going to come up in your
everyday life, or affect you in any way. Ignorance of the nation's cultural
icons and verbal shorthand, however, destroys the collective language that
unites us as a country, and threatens to turn this juke joint into a Tower
of Babel. Let's face it. If I say 'think outside the box' and you don't know
that I'm talking about Taco Bell, you probably aren't going to get to eat."
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