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 Come
on, Mushie, take my arm.
 I
do not want to take your frigging arm. Quit asking me that. In my country,
it is seen... Ah, never mind. You Americans are such libertines, you'd never
understand.
I
bet I understand better than you imagine. I saw Brokeback Mountain, if you
know what I mean. Laura's choice, not mine. Had to, it's a cultural
phenomenon. A tipping point, that's what Laura says. Hey, do you get free
movies? That's one of the things I like about bein president. If I'm
flipping through Entertainment Weekly and I see something that looks good, I
just put out the word and the next thing you know I got a tub of popcorn and
a frosty cold CountryTime. It's like magic. Last week I saw 'Big Mama's
House 2', and it was even better than the first one. You a Martin Lawrence
fan, Mushie?
I
do not know this Lawrence person, Mister President, and I find this whole
conversation inane. You have been talking about the Oscars ever since you
arrived here. And for God's sake, will you please quit calling me Mushie.
Wow.
Your reputation as an international sourpuss is well deserved.
Harumph.
Well,
we can't both be Mister President, can we? Here, take my arm.
 Tee
hee.
Look.
Now you've got my guards laughing at me.
Hey
you. Yeah, you with the mustache. Mister Ugly. Let me tell you something -
you ain't got nothin to snicker at, you in your pretty red dress and
silly-ass hat. And let me tell you something else. Condi's got a pair of
boots just like yours, pretty boy.
Well?
You gonna say something, or you just gonna stand there with that stupid look
on your face?
Please,
Mister President. My guards are not allowed to speak unless I give them the
order.
Do
it. Do it. Give him freedom of speech. And order him not to fight back if I
decide to kick his ass.
Sigh...
All right, Punjab. Permission to speak. And no fighting back.
American
pig.
Oink,
oink, oink, you ugly turd burglar. It's clobberin time. Take this. And this.
Here's your knuckle sandwich, mustache face. Take this and that and this and
that and this. And one more for Old Glory.
You
really laid him out, Mister President. I'm going to have to pay him time and
a half for today.
Yeah,
well, what's another fifty cents?
Ha
ha ha ha ha.
 President
Musharraf, may I kick him while he's down?
Be
my guest, Madame President.
Oof.
You
don't mess with Texas. Now, here, take my arm. The photographer is gettin
antsy.
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