| Jambi, Part 2
(Part 1 is at
The Aristocrats) |
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Welcome back, Mister President.
I understand you did a bang up job in New Orleans of restoring America's
confidence in your somewhat glorious administration, of which I am a proud
and deadly member. The deadly part is just kind of a joke of mine, something
from what you could call the frivolous side of Ms Condi, but my, how I do
wander when I'm nervous. |
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You nervous, Condi? You've got
nerves of steel. |
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No one's got those steely nerves
today. You did brief Wonder Boy, didn't you Rove? |
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God knows I tried, Mr. Cheney.
We had some hard conceptual barriers to deal with. I think that the video
will help. |
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What video? |
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The video of Mahmoud
Ahmadinejad. Goddamn it to hell, Turd Blossom, you didn't tell him anything,
did you? |
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Who's this Moham Mamajama? |
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For God's sake, George - Mahmoud
Ahmadinejad, the president of Iran. He said he was going to cause us harm
and pain. |
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That beanbag? I'm shaking in my
boots. Try a little harder to scare me , Rummy. I'm the guy who took out the
Butcher of Baghdad. |
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You may feel a bit more cautious
after you take a look at this. Sergeant Ryan, start the clip. |
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Mekka Lekka Hi, Mekka Heiny Ho.
Mekka Lekka Hi, Mekka Chonny Ho. |
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Fraid you're gonna have to help
me out with that just a little, Rummy. |
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It's the secret Jambi chant,
Mister President. |
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Jambi the Genie, George. You
might have seen him on Pee-wee's Playhouse. |
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Oh, yeah! Jambi! Mekka Lekka Hi,
and all that. Heh, heh. I was partial to Miss Yvonne myself. So what's your
point? |
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We've got a high placed source
who states that Ahmadinejad wished for nuclear weapons. |
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It's a slam dunk. |
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Who's the source? |
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Reese Witherspoon. |
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She laid out a very convincing
case. |
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Oh, I wish Reese was here now to
help explain it. |
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Did somebody here make a wish? |
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I'm Jambi! |
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Oh yes, Mr. Jambi, it was me. I
was wishing that Reese Witherspoon was here to explain to the president
about Ahmadinejad and his nuclear weapons. |
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Very well. Repeat after me:
Mekka Lekka Hi, Mekka Heiny Ho. |
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Mekka Lekka Hi, Mekka Heiny Ho. |
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Mekka Lekka Hi, Mekka Chonny Ho. |
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Don't say it, Don, don't say
it! |
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Mekka Lekka Hi, Mekka Chonny Ho. |
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Hi! |
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You idiot. You could have just
wished to know what Ahmadinejad wished for. |
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Doh. |
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Look at her. She's as cute as a
little button, isn't she? |
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Thank you. |
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Give us another wish, Jambi. |
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I'm afraid that I cannot do
that. I only grant one wish per day. |
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Give us another fucking wish,
you blue faced freak. |
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=POOF= |
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Oh, man. You just scared Jambi
off. |
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Grrrr. I'm mad enough to bite a
podium. |
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Our mysterious visitor from...
Where is he from, Reese? |
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Pee-wee's Playhouse. |
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Oh, yeah. Well, folks, meeting's
over. You heard the genie. No more wishes till tomorow. |
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So, Reese, why don't I give you
a tour of the place. |
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That would be lovely. |
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You know what's lovely is the
rug I've got in my office. It's a real stunner. Laura designed it. Not just
anybody can design a rug. The interesting thing about this rug is cause I
told Laura one thing. I said, 'Look, I can't pick the colors and all that.
But make it say 'optimistic person.' And I think if you look at the way the
colors kind of spiral... |
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