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Norton Moves to Grayer
Pastures
Interior Secretary Gale Norton tickles the
president's ass with a feather
Interior secretary Gale Norton
announced her resignation from the Bush cabinet today, a move that set many
high-placed tongues wagging about her ineffectiveness in the position.
"I don't think her lack of
success had anything to do with her being a woman," said Education Secretary
Margaret Spellings. "I think it had more to do with her lack of
aggressiveness, her totally non-existent management skills, and the dearth
of any ideas of her own. Jeez Louise, anything the president said, she was
all over it like white on rice. Early in her term, Bush said 'Why can't we
drill for oil in Alaska', and she had a twenty man - pardon me, twenty
person - project team on a crash study before she realized that it was a
rhetorical question. When Bush talked about selling the national forests to
help finance his tax cuts, Gale was on e-Bay before the president had even
left the podium. It wasn't lack of enthusiasm. I think she was just stupid."
"There will never be a perfect
time to leave," Norton wrote in her resignation. "There will never be a
perfect anything, except, perhaps, for a perfect fool, of which I am a prime
example. I believed that my affection for the president would one day bear
fruit, if only I could find a way to get rid of that dreadful Karen Hughes.
Yeah, right. She left and he brought in that school-teacher slut Maggie
Spellings. He liked the way she looked in glasses. Ooh, what a bitch. And
then last year he brought Hughes back, and I had like no idea of what's
going on, and I'm not sticking around to find out."
Ms. Norton will be taking a
senior executive position at BRW Earth Extraction Industries, a mining
corporation specializing in mountaintop removal.
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