Tech Talk
Dan Sparoni, Mafia CIO
So everybody's talking Google this and Google
that until you're just so fucking sick of it you could blow their fucking
heads off. Come on... Yeah, if I had my way we could have made a
quick few mill on it, but no, Vinnie's got to sink all our hard earned money
into race horses. You wanna know what's
wrong with the mob? I'll tell you what's wrong with the mob - outdated
technology, that's what. You need to send somebody a message, use the
goddamn email, why doncha? Why go to all the trouble to use a perfectly good
horse's head - unless maybe you're trying to communicate to Vinnie why it
might be a good fucking idea to diversify the portfolio. You need a little
inside info, you know what you do? No, you don't send out a couple of goons
to soften someone up a little. Get outta here. Whatta you doing, living in
the 1970's or something? Think you're a tough guy? I tell you what you do,
you get on your goddamn computer and you fire up your Google and you get
your information nice and easy without creating a mess. Yeah, Vinnie, $105 a
share we could of bought in. Maybe next time you'll listen to your CIO, you
retard. I dunno. Sometimes it's like
beating your head against the wall working for a firm like this. Take data
mining. I talk myself blue in the face about how we need to get into data
mining. And Carlo Vittisac - Mister 'I ain't giving another nickel to that
crook Bill Gates' - has the nerve to say to me, "What the hell are you
talking about with all this data mining, Danny, none of the guys even know
what you're talking about." And I just explode. "It's the goddamn nontrivial
extraction of implicit, previously unknown, and potentially useful
information from the fucking data, you moron." And Carlo just looks at me
and says "Simmer down, Sport. You know that and I know that, but the guys
all wanna know what it's gonna add to the coffers." "Add to the coffers?" I
shout, and I believe my outrage was totally justified. "You shoulda thought
about the fucking coffers before you let Vinnie invest in that ridiculous
nag of a racehorse. I gotta tell you how valuable it would be to identify
the easy marks ahead of time? That's fucking gold for our coffers, that's
what that is." I dunno, he tells me, and then slides out mumbling something
about a staff meeting. Why get myself
so upe?. It's not worth it. I need to just resign myself to the fact that
I'm working with a bunch of nitwits. I'm only the CIO - why should
anybody listen to me? As long as the network is up, these clowns are happy. |
