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New Teacher-Student
Scandal Emerges
In Fort Lauderdale today, fourteen year old high school freshman Billy
Whitaker has been charged with not having sexual relations with his
twenty-six year old Social Studies teacher, Betty McBride.
(pictured left)
"Unfortunately this is not the
first time that Whitaker has been under suspicion," said county prosecutor
Ben Dover. "There were the previous charges brought by Claudia Atkins, as
well as reports that he has refused to have sex with his own priest. It's
the sort of pattern that tends to worsen over time, and our office
intends to make sure that Ms. McBride is his last victim."
Prosecutors had previously
dropped the charges brought by Atkins on the grounds that she was over-age,
but "this case is entirely different," according to Dover. "She's only in
her mid-twenties, and she has a great personality as well as a shiny red
convertible."
"Billy thought that McBride was
just plain yucky," said Whitaker's defense attorney Laura Britney. "As a
point of fact, he did go so far as to ride out to Crater Lake with her, but
then she put on a Nickelback CD, and he understandably made his escape. I
mean, hello. And he certainly didn't have any problem having sex with me or
my assistant Marcie, so I think the prosecution is going to have a hard time
claiming he's a habitual offender." |
