Left Behind
Given the lackluster response and general
grousing over the 'No Child Left Behind' program, education
secretary Margaret Spellings has announced a new initiative that not only
clarifies the goals of the program, but will also hopefully act as a
motivating factor for the nations fifty-seven million public school
students. The new program is to be called 'Don't Get Left Behind' (DGLB) and
will emphasize the message that those who fall behind in their school work will quickly
find their lives going down the crapper.
The first public service announcement, which
features 1980's television star Mr. T, has already begun playing in several
markets around the
country. In it, the mohawked ruffian with a heart of gold speaks to a group
of children at a playground.
"Hey little children," he tells them, "don't
be acting like some kinda suckas. You fall behind in school, you gonna be
behind all your life - behind bars, behind the counter in some fast food
restaurant, and behind the eight ball for the rest of time immortal. That's
crazy. Look at little Jimmy, Jamal, and Carrie here. They already locked up
in a cage, just wishin they could get out. Learn to read, I tell them, but
no, they too smart for their britches and won't listen to the big man. Look
at em grinnin like some kinda fools. Cause they are fools. Come on little
Patty, Ben, and Flipper, we gonna get some ice cream. It's time for those
other suckas to get back to work makin wheelbarrow accessories." |
