Some See Count Floyd in
Underpass Stain
Beer cans from over three dozen countries have
been left in front of the Floyd-like stain.
CHICAGO, Illinois (FGAQ) -- A steady stream of
the faithful and the ludicrous, many carrying flowers and howling, have
wandered to a highway underpass for a look at a gray and white stain on a
concrete wall that they believe is an image of the Count Floyd.
Police have been guarding the area since last Monday as hundreds of people
have walked down to see the image and the growing memorial of flowers and
beer cans that surround it. Beside the image is an artist's rendering of
Bruno embracing Doctor Tongue in a pose some see echoed in the stain.
"We believe it's a miracle," said Edith Prickley, 42. "A really dumb
miracle, but a miracle none the less."
Tuesday morning, women stood with 3-D glasses behind a police barricade
while men in t-shirts loitered before the image, guffawing and drinking. An
angry commuter claimed that the crowd had caused traffic to back up for
miles.
The stain is likely the result of salt run-off, according to the Illinois
Department In-charge of Transportation. The agency does not plan to scrub it
off the wall.
"We're treating this just like we treat any type of roadside miracle," said
IDIOT spokesman Earl Camembert. "We have no plans to clean this site."
"We hah no plah to clee thih eyes," chimed in
IDIOT resident cleaning woman Perini Scleroso.
The Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Chicago has not received any requests to
authenticate the image as of Monday, spokesman Johnny Larue said. "Why would
we? I mean it's true that Pope Benedict does look similar to Count Floyd,
but that's more of a coincidence than a miracle. And the church takes no
official position on Monster Chiller Horror Theater. Sometimes people ask us
to look at these things, but we're pretty busy. Most of the time we don't.
The meaning depends on the individual who sees it. To them, it's real. Go
figure."
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