| Now That's What I Call a Dead Parrot
This is not one of my continuing stories... I wrote the last I intended about Jackson breasts a week ago, so unless Michael grows a pair, I don't intend to type another word on the topic. Which is not to say that I won't read another word...
Actually, I was looking at The Sun (Britain's leading daily) for new info on one of my prime continuing pieces, the Armin Meiwes story. The cannibal tale is almost definitely film bound now, and the word is getting stronger that Hugh Grant would like to sink his teeth into the roll. Personally I don't see the resemblance, but I guess that's why they call it acting.
On the same page, however, was a delightful piece on Janet Jackson which I must share with you for the sake of the writing. The piece is entitled 'Is this the most important thing happening in America?', and it's written in one of those incredulous British tones. As a matter of fact, to get the most out of it, I believe you need to imagine it as read by Praline from the classic Monty Python Dead Parrot Sketch. Here's Dominic Mohan discussing Michael Powell of the FCC.
"Michael Powell, head of the Federal Communications Commission and a bit of a nipple himself — apparently convalescing after an operation to remove his sense of humour — branded it “a classless, crass and deplorable stunt” adding: “I am outraged by what I saw.”
What is your problem, Mike? It was a boob. A zeppelin. A jug. A kahuna. Call it what you will.
A fun cushion, a bap, a mammary gland. As natural and as pure as snow — although Janet’s plastic-looking fantastics probably aren’t, to be honest, so scrub that, hers are more slush.
Mr Powell went on (and, boy, did he): “Like millions of Americans, my family and I gathered around the television for a celebration. Instead, that celebration was tainted. Our nation’s children, parents and citizens deserve better.”
Tainted? Didn’t his mummy have a pair? Was he not breast fed? Is he gay? What has he against them? Not his hands, evidently."
Know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge. | 
