|
Prophet Yahweh: The Roaring
Silence
07/07/05 5:59 PM EST
He's gone, I guess, vanished with the biggest story of the century tucked
snugly beneath his turban.
He seemed to have so much
promise. As a story, I mean: As a piece of entertainment. He could have been
a contender. But in the end, he was so much less than we had hoped. He
became nothing but a case study. So it goes.
On July 3rd, the thirty-seventh
day of his fast, Prophet Yahweh spoke his last.
Today, while
typing, I heard the voice that calls itself YAHWEH say:
"THIS IS A SACRED MOMENT. SEND OUT NO MORE EMAILS UNTIL MY ANGEL'S CHARIOT
DESCENDS DOWN FOR YOU TO FILM. NOW FOCUS AND PREPARE YOUR MIND FOR THIS
GREAT MOMENT FOR IT WILL COME DOWN FOR YOU TO SEE AND FILM AS I HAD YOU
PROPHECISE THAT IT WOULD DO. RELAX YOUR MIND. READ NOTHING. AND PREPARE YOUR
HEART FOR THE EVENT'S FULFILLMENT THAT IS NEAR. IT SHALL BE DONE. IT WILL
APPEAR OVER LAS VEGAS FOR ALL TO SEE."
Because of this,
I will not send you anymore emails or read any of your emails to me until
after YAHWEH chariot comes down over Las Vegas.
We do not know what form this
voice comes in, but we imagine the fragrance to be most similar to a
pepperoni pizza.
THE NEXT TIME
YOU HEAR FROM ME, I WILL BE LETTING YOU KNOW THAT THE SPACESHIP IS IN THE
AIR OVER LAS VEGAS AND YOU FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO CAN COME HERE TO SEE IT WITH
YOUR OWN EYES AND VIDEO TO COME TO MY SUMMONING SITE. AT THAT TIME, I WILL
LET YOU KNOW THEY DIRECTIONS TO IT WHERE YOU WILL HAVE THE BEST POSSIBLE
VIEW OF THE SHIP.
It is curious that for his final
missive, PY decided to adopt capital letters for his own personal usage, as
these previously had been reserved only for the voice of YAHWEH. Perhaps it
was the result of a hungry brain, which he admitted was no longer
functioning properly. Perhaps he had finally become one with YAHWEH, and
there was no longer a discernable distinction. Or perhaps it was a problem
with the Caps Lock Key.
At any rate, we bid the prophet
adieu, and shall soon remove his link of honor from FGAQ, allowing him to
float off in cyberspace, forever and ever, without a marker to point him
home.
FGAQ, your former source for Prophet Yahweh updates.
|
