Mark Hoback: FGAQ's Prophet Yahweh Blog

Thu, 07 Jul 2005 22:20:57 GMT

Prophet Yahweh: The Roaring Silence
07/07/05 5:59 PM EST

He's gone, I guess, vanished with the biggest story of the century tucked snugly beneath his turban.

He seemed to have so much promise. As a story, I mean: As a piece of entertainment. He could have been a contender. But in the end, he was so much less than we had hoped. He became nothing but a case study. So it goes.

On July 3rd, the thirty-seventh day of his fast, Prophet Yahweh spoke his last.

Today, while typing, I heard the voice that calls itself YAHWEH say:

"THIS IS A SACRED MOMENT. SEND OUT NO MORE EMAILS UNTIL MY ANGEL'S CHARIOT DESCENDS DOWN FOR YOU TO FILM. NOW FOCUS AND PREPARE YOUR MIND FOR THIS GREAT MOMENT FOR IT WILL COME DOWN FOR YOU TO SEE AND FILM AS I HAD YOU PROPHECISE THAT IT WOULD DO. RELAX YOUR MIND. READ NOTHING. AND PREPARE YOUR HEART FOR THE EVENT'S FULFILLMENT THAT IS NEAR. IT SHALL BE DONE. IT WILL APPEAR OVER LAS VEGAS FOR ALL TO SEE."

Because of this, I will not send you anymore emails or read any of your emails to me until after YAHWEH chariot comes down over Las Vegas.

We do not know what form this voice comes in, but we imagine the fragrance to be most similar to a pepperoni pizza.

THE NEXT TIME YOU HEAR FROM ME, I WILL BE LETTING YOU KNOW THAT THE SPACESHIP IS IN THE AIR OVER LAS VEGAS AND YOU FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO CAN COME HERE TO SEE IT WITH YOUR OWN EYES AND VIDEO TO COME TO MY SUMMONING SITE. AT THAT TIME, I WILL LET YOU KNOW THEY DIRECTIONS TO IT WHERE YOU WILL HAVE THE BEST POSSIBLE VIEW OF THE SHIP.

It is curious that for his final missive, PY decided to adopt capital letters for his own personal usage, as these previously had been reserved only for the voice of YAHWEH. Perhaps it was the result of a hungry brain, which he admitted was no longer functioning properly. Perhaps he had finally become one with YAHWEH, and there was no longer a discernable distinction. Or perhaps it was a problem with the Caps Lock Key.

At any rate, we bid the prophet adieu, and shall soon remove his link of honor from FGAQ, allowing him to float off in cyberspace, forever and ever, without a marker to point him home.

FGAQ, your former source for Prophet Yahweh updates.

Sun, 26 Jun 2005 23:53:49 GMT

Whatever Happened to Prophet Yahweh?
06/126/05 11:38 AM EST

Really? It's been that long since we wrote about Prophet Yahweh? Oh my. Ah, you may think you've got me - I did say that I would follow him until the end of his 45 day Media Summoning Period. I've kept my word - I have followed him, reading every delusional word that he puts out. And believe me, Stephen King has nothing on this guy when it comes to spewing out verbiage. I just haven't reported on PY because it hasn't been much of a story, aside from watching one man's meltdown.

Mister P is well past the halfway point of his quest by now, and has, unsurprisingly, brought down exactly 0 properly documented UFOs. I say unsurprisingly due to the wide variety of distractions that Prophet has detailed for us, such as the Air Forces use of chemical trails to befoul the Los Vegas skyline, wild fires, the blimp makers at Plantraco, psychotic Christians who follow him everywhere, and inferior video equipment.

In an earlier email today, about how small space craft have appeared to us 3 times after 3 different summonings, on 3 successive days, and we were not able to capture them on film.

In the email, I said the following: "Part of the problem is the consumer Sony camcorders we are using. It's not their ability to capture the sighting on film, it's the very small, low resolution view finder we look through to see if the camera is recording the sighting.

I whipped my checkbook right out then and there when I heard of PY's plight. Why, the poor man can't even afford to eat.

Dear pystudents and pyufos,

I think it is time that I told you all why, during interviews, I am:

not talking in complete sentences

getting too excited at times

stuttering so much

losing my train of thought

and having to pause so much when trying to express myself

The reason why is that I have not eaten any food since last month, May 31, 2005.

I don't know, fella. Maybe this wasn't the best possible time for a fast.

Because of my brain not getting the nutrients it needs to function properly, all the things above are the results.

This is the real reason why I have been trying to send out all the emails I can before my fast starts taking so much of a toll on me that I can type any more.

Stop it, dude. You're embarassing me.

Soon, I will have to stop typing and even reading emails.

I have over 515 emails that have not been opened and 1,500 of them that have not been responded to properly.

And, with me now fasting like this, it's getting to the point that I can't even open them much less type them.

Regardless, if you hear me in an interview, and I sound like my reasoning and speaking may be a little off, now you know why.

Please don't be embarrassed by it.

The end is near.

FGAQ, your one source for Prophet Yahweh updates.

Sun, 19 Jun 2005 00:11:21 GMT

Prophet Yahweh Gets All Homophobic On Us
06/18/05 80:08 PM EST

Prophet Yahweh is currently at code green, the lowest possible alert level for a prophet. FGAQ made the serious mistake of saying that we would follow this old fool until his UFO summoning period ended on July 15. While we intend to honor our word, Mister Hoback has much more important things to do, and has turned over writing chores to the host of the Brazilian television children's show 'Vamos', Bolas del Algodón.

You know what Prophet Yahweh doesn't like? Gay people. They really grill his cheese. Big time. As a matter of fact, he doesn't even want them to read about him.

I want all homosexuals or homosexual sypathizers or advocates, on my list, who are not willing to consider the truth - that homosexuality is a form of self induced mental derangement caused by a person having been deceived into thinking it's an acceptable lifestyle, especially to the Creator, to please unsubscribe immediately.

Man, that's harsh. But such is the nature of Prophet Yahweh, who just ended his multi-part series on homosexuality. (Sample: This is self induced mental illness through Satanic possession. a man releasing his sperm up into another man's butt hole as if he can get the other man pregnant by doing so.)

Uh, well, the way that Prophet Yahweh explains things, it does sound a little Satanic. Thanks for sharing PY. But the man does have credibility, as he later explains.

People talk about being gay and hear about being gay, but most of them never really think about what fags do when having sex... Neither do they think about how sick the nasty acts are that they commit with one another...

As for me, I know it is as sick as I have described for a fact!

The way I know, is that I use to be a homosexual.

Again, Prophet, thanks for the memories.

FGAQ, your one source for Prophet Yahweh updates.

Fri, 17 Jun 2005 19:12:49 GMT

Prophet Yahweh Remixed

From the any publicity is good publicity department, Prophet Yahweh tells us about his interview today on KQMT radio in Denver, with hosts Archer and Mark.

"I got an email from Archer letting me know that Mark had created a song on me," he tells us. "The song blew me away".

In all fairness, we must say that blowing Prophet Yahweh away is not on the level with curing cancer.

I can finally say that I have seen the light of genius level audio productions.

It had to take some very tedious work to do that, and I can not thank Mark for taking out the time and effort it took to produce such a beautiful song.

You have got to hear it.

You will, you will, but first let's check in with KQMT.

The UFO summoner known as Prophet Yahweh went on a rant during the morning show — and Mark Samansky was inspired to turn it into one of his techno productions!

Here it is, the Prophet Yahweh Song!

FGAQ, your one source for Prophet Yahweh updates.

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 15:38:01 GMT

Prophet Yahweh to the Rescue
06/16/05 11:33 AM EST

Prophet Yahweh is currently at code green, the lowest possible alert level for a prophet. FGAQ made the serious mistake of saying that we would follow this old fool until his UFO summoning period ended on July 15. While we intend to honor our word, Mister Hoback has much more important things to do, and has turned over writing chores to the host of the Brazilian television children's show 'Vamos', Bolas del Algodón.

Wow, can this guy Prophet Yahweh ever write. I don't mean that he can write well, just that he can fill vast numbers of pages with his delusional drivel. If I had known I would have to wade through this much spew, I would have asked for more than R$15 per column. Ai-yi-yi, it's no wonder that this guy hasn't had much time to hunt down UFOs.

Mister Hoback neglected to tell you that one of PYs main areas of concentration over the past few days was the publication of his very long treatise proving that Jesus - oops, I mean Esus (PY having earlier proven that J did not exist) - and his disciples were in reality nothing but a group of radical homosexuals bent on hiding YAHWEH's truth. This was so long that he broke it up into a three part series, with other ravings in between.

More? Yes, they were all pedophiles as well, and he provided 'obscene religious art' to help make his point. Now, I hate to bring a brother down, but the little print on the margin shows these pictures to have been taken from Rotten dot com (look it up yourself), a site specializing in the most obscene and grotesque images in existence. (you know, diseased babies, industrial accidents, decomposing corpses, that sort of thing). Not the best place for a prophet to be surfing.

But the above is an important topic, because one of Prophet Yahweh's biggest chores is to destroy all the religions of the world, and make way for the one true religion, which of course is the one with the spaceships in it.

These Beings are not big head, big eyed creatures that you see in the movies.

No.

They are the Angels of YAHWEH who are here to get the full and undivided attention of the people on earth so that they can announce the return of the Messiah.

The Messiah is coming in over 20,000 inter-galactic spaceships to take over the earth and set up the eternal Kingdom of YAHWEH.

The great secret behind this whole UFO phenomenon is religious!

These Beings hate the religions of the earth because all of them are lies with no way for souls to be saved!

I was reading a posting on one forum by a person who thought that the whole Prophet Yahweh gig was timed to tie in with the premier of 'War of the Worlds'. Not a bad theory, but you'd think he would get a little more press.

FGAQ, your one source for Prophet Yahweh updates.

Tue, 14 Jun 2005 23:55:57 GMT

Prophet Bozotros Takes the Helm
06/1405 7:57 PM EST

Prophet Yahweh is currently at code aquamarine, which means that the previous writer of this history of the forty-five days of glory is now far too embarrassed to file any further dispatches, at least until Prophet Yahweh does something that's significant enough to bring him back to at least Code Yellow. Sorry. Prophet Bozotros will take the helm until that time.

Oh man, in Brasilia this is what is called a good gig. Yeah. On Channel 4 tin my country, they introduce me as 'Bolas del Algodón', which in English means Cotton Balls. I do a kid's show, but in Brazil the kids are a hell of a lot meaner than the kids in a lot of other countries. They really suck, and I live a life of constant hatred.

So FGAQ is paying me 15 pesadios per column to write about this lunatic known as Prophet Yahweh? I tell you what - I've only been looking at his dossier for less than fifteen minutes and I can say beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is an embarrassment to true prophets everywhere. He cannot even stick to a topic. I hope he is eaten by clams.

I will return to these pages until the hue changes to a more credible color. I myself once predicted the reintroduction of the McRib® Sandwich, perhaps not as exciting as a race of alien beings descending upon our planet to govern it with brutal force, but a whole hell of a lot tastier, I'll tell you that Prophet Yahweh!

FGAQ, your one source for Prophet Yahweh updates.

Tue, 14 Jun 2005 00:49:21 GMT

Prophet Yahweh Goes Gangsta On Us
06/13/05 8:57 PM EST

Prophet Yahweh is at code blue.

PY got an email recently, which said in part, "you fucking towelhead if i knew where you are at i wil kill you and all your followers",

No one appreciates that sort of email from the kind of idiot who doesn't even have capital letters on their keyboard. (Probably a poet). Prophet Yahweh politely responded with 'to hell with dying' and went back on with his business. But then, something wonderful happened after he posted his threat - a member of the Bloods contacted him.

my brotha now im pissed, These empty threats are crap to me, you can post this to everybody. IF THEY WANT TO KILL YOU, THEY CAN KILL ME, IM A BLOOD FROM INGLEWOOD CALIFORNIA, YOU WANA PUT MY BROTHA'S LIFE THREW POST TRAMTIC STRESS. DO IT TO ME, I WANT SPEAKING UP WILL NOBODY ON THE INTERNET COME TO THE HOOD. YOU CAN COME SUMMON IN THE HOOD MY BROTHA, NO BODY WILL TOUCH YOU

These words touched him deeply, and he responded immediately.

Ahh! My brother, that is so very beautiful of you!

Hey listen. I am from Los Angeles.

I only came to Las Vegas because my brother is here, and we felt that the media here would be more receptive to doing a story on me with this being one of the UFO capitals of the world, and with Area 51 down the road.

My brother, I won't rest until I meet the brother who told me such a beautiful thing!

I want to summon a UFO for you.

I once told a lovely girl named Linda that I wanted to summon a UFO for her. She kissed me soulfully, and wandered out of the drive-in, illuminated by the Northern Lights. I never saw her again.

But, man, over the years, I've had visions about how that, right after YAHWEH blessed me to come to power, I moved to Inglewood and was summoning for the Bloods!

Hahahaha!

Yeah!!!

And, man, the sightings showed up so much that, eventually all the Bloods respected me.

Every time I looked up, there were Bloods asking me to come out and do that thing I do, in YAHWEH's name, for them to see!

I answered them every time and never denied them, and by the time it was over, all Inglewood was blown away and that was only just the beginning.

I have dreamed this, and the details so much from YAHWEH over the years!

Hahahaha!

YAHWEH is going to release a special wave of sightings for Inglewood.

Hahahaha!

Man, this is so very deep!

So wide can't get around it, so low you can't get under it, so high you can't get over it... man, do I love that song. And Inglenook makes some of the very finest wine I've ever tasted. But I digress.

My brother, check this out.

I have had so many visions about a gangster, who contacted me and we became friends.

We respected each others differences and got along just fine.

You see, YAHWEH showed you to me in my dreams the other night.

Hahahahaha!

I looked in the visions, that came upon my head, as I slept and I saw the view of my email "Compose" screen. But, it was the color red - the Blood's colors.

Then, I saw the email address slot and a name was being typed in by an invisible hand.

But, I could only see the letter "J" and afterwards I heard the voice I hear that calls itself YAHWEH say your exact name.

After I woke up, I told all those close to me, and they were blown away when they saw your email, and noticed your name which I told them prior to them seeing it.

Hahahaha!

Brother, while typing this, I heard:

"He is the gangster I told you about."

I feel kind of creepy about reading any further. Kind of like a voyeur, if you know what I mean. Doesn't Prophet Yahweh know that the proper pronunciation is 'gangsta'?

After this is over, here in Las Vegas, I am moving out of Los Angeles and into Inglewood and making it my permanent residence.

Thank you so very much!

Thank you my brother.

Hahahaha!

Thank you.

I will email you my hook up, after I get back from Los Angeles, so we can talk if you don't mind.

I am going there tonight and won't be there long because I have to get back to finish my summoning effort here.

Oh yeah, that summoning stuff. Well, don't sweat it, Prophet Yahweh, not if this looks like the real deal. Cause this is a chance,
this is a chance, to dance your way out of your constrictions.

One nation under a groove, brother.

FGAQ, your one source for Prophet Yahweh updates.

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 16:25:55 GMT

The Prophet Yahweh Saturday Wrap-up
06/12/05 10:48 AM EST

Prophet Yahweh has been lowered to a code blue phenomenon.

Yesterday, as promised, Prophet Yahweh traveled to his one hundred dollar summoning sight to look over his property and take video for the whole world to see. And I'll bet that you can't guess what happened to him upon arrival.

...as soon as we stepped on the property and summoned, a glowing orb appeared on my request to YAHWEH to send it.

I'm giving no link to the video here, because the one provided by PY returns a 'file not found' message. Besides, "It is jittery in the video, but you can still see it, and we had to edit excess footage, to make the video smaller for uploading".

We'll wait for something a little better. PY also states that he talked to his 'potential benefactor', who plans to visit him in 'a week or two', presumably with his checkbook.

I will not mention who he is because he is very influential.

We're guessing Mike Tyson, although there's a lot of loose talk that it could be Bono.

FGAQ can confirm that Prophet Yahweh was indeed featured on the Jay Diamond radio show last night. I was able to listen to approximately thirty minutes of it before my eyeballs rolled into the back of my head.

As of late, Prophet has taken to posting large amounts of his teachings, such as his treatise on the proper spelling of YAHWEH, and the fact that the real name of Jesus was Esus. These are fairly long and detailed pieces, and you're not going to get any info on them from me. Because I just don't care. You should understand, however, that unless you truly understand the information that he is providing, you'll never be able to summon UFOs on your own. Other than as a good way to win bar bets, this is something I have no desire to do, but if you differ, you might want to subscribe to his group. Speaking of which, PY is being deluged by emails from people so upset by his religious teachings that they want him to unsubscribe them from his group. He has a little message for these lazy folks:

Why are you trying to manipulate me to do what you can do by just clicking the "Unsubscribe" link at the bottom of each email?

I know why you are asking me to do it.

You are doing it because you want me to know you are leaving and see that you are unsubscribing with nasty words, punctuations, and attitudes in an attempt to strike at me.

But, it doesn't work against a man like me.

As the old saying goes, "don't go away angry, just go away."

FGAQ, your one source for Prophet Yahweh updates.

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 15:44:21 GMT

Fri, 10 Jun 2005 19:41:49 GMT

A Man Out Standing in His Field
06/10/05 3:48 PM EST

If Prophet Yahweh seemed pretty upbeat on my last report, then he's positively ecstatic now.

Aha, you're thinking, he's finally performed a summoning, or at least found someone significant willing to film and interview him. No. But he does feel that he has done something quite significant.

Today, world history was made when, in the name of YAHWEH, I was blessed to purchase the rights to the world's first summoning site!

Hold on there a minute, PY. That's gotta be fact checked. And being a lazy guy, I'm going to bring up your own statement that you have performed hundreds of UFO summonings. Los Angles, Los Vegas... Hey, I saw some of them on film! But I guess this one is different - it's the official Prophet Yahweh Summoning Site.

it will be the exact spot where YAHWEH's spaceships will appear over when the first one descends before July 15th.

It will be the most perfect spot out of all Las Vegas to see the spaceship.

I guess it would be. And for only a hundred bucks!

Last year I spoke to the owner and he wanted more money than I could afford.

I was shame to go before him with not much money, but I thought about what YAHWEH told me, which was to just give him $100 and tell him that it was all I had.

When I saw he, he rejoiced and said that he heard that I was on the talk shows.

He was so happy when I told him that I only had $100, he gladly accepted it.

Which totally fulfills my prophecy that people will do just about anything for a chance to be on television. Speaking of which...

Speaking of the media, something is up!

It won't be long now.

I don't want to say anything right now so my enemies won't find out.

It looks like, it really won't be long before the summonings can begin!

Something is up. It won't be long. Thanks, PY. Anything else?

I will go there tomorrow and do a video and let you see the property. Afterwards, I will upload it to a free download site for you to see.

A video of a field. I'm trembling with anticipation.

FGAQ, your one source for Prophet Yahweh updates.

Fri, 10 Jun 2005 15:47:20 GMT

It's Not Nice To Fool Prophet Yahweh
06/10/05 11:55 AM EST

"Hahaha! You won't belief this!," are the first words we received from last night's postings by Prophet Yahweh, and considering the source, this is a pretty good assessment of the situation.

As you may recall from yesterday, Prophet Yahweh admitted that he was crazy, albeit only in the eyes of the state of California. He now provides us further evidence.

Previously, I told you about some one having promised me $750,000 and sent me a check for $4,800 for me to deposit.

Today, the bank account I deposited the $4,800 check into was closed by Bank Of America.

I called the bank and asked about it, and they told me that it was a counterfeit check!

Hahaha! I laughed upon hearing the news!

It was just like I expected.

It was just like we expected as well. But it's nice to see that PY has such a good sense of humor about things. If we didn't know better, we'd say that someone was attacking him by trying to blow up his bank account.

It appears that someone was attacking me by trying to blow up my bank account.

But, they really failed to accomplish anything real!

Let me explain.

Oh no you don't, PY. Not with my readers. Let me explain. It'll be quicker. Remember when YAHWEH was telling PY about the sums of money he would be getting? Well, first off, he was talking about two different donors, and secondly, he was just quoting the figures that would be in stated PY's mail, not the actual cash. So the voice told him to open a second bank account and yada, yada, yada, more voices, repeat story a couple more times with added emphasis on the previously unmentioned second owner, and take it away PY.

Now, I can see that the visions were two in one.

In it you could see two amounts of money being given to me, one from my enemies and another from the second donor who I am communicating with now.

One was true and the other was false.

Now, that the false one is revealed, I am left to deal with true one.

Oh man, what you gonna do? Fool Prophet Yahweh once, shame on you. Fool Prophet Yahweh twice, shame on Prophet Yahweh. Any final words for the bad guy, PY?

It won't be long before I will have good news, on when I am to receive the large amount of money. The real money from my real donor, who I was contacted about before you contacted us.

FGAQ, your one source for Prophet Yahweh updates.

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:30:25 GMT

Well, I Guess That's Settled
06/09/05 12:35 PM EST

Prophet Yahweh has responded to what is probably one of his most asked questions: Are you nuts? He tells us that he's addressing the issue "because so many of you are writing me calling me crazy". That's just plain rude in my book. However, since he's the one that brought it up... He doesn't think that he is, but he's not going to dodge the question either, since it is so obviously on the table.

Just for the record, one day, a few years ago, I heard the voice that calls itself YAHWEH tell me to go see a psychiatrist.

I said no way!

YAHWEH said 'yeah, way'.

So, I hesitantly went to the Department of Mental Health, in Los Angeles, and saw a psychologist and psychiatrist.

They asked me about the voice I hear that calls itself YAHWEH, how He lives on other planets, and travel around the universe in spaceships.

Then, I told him that spaceships and UFOs appear on my signal and I could prove it.

The psyche looked at me, probably stranger than he has ever looked at anyone before.

Mmm. Go on. What happened next?

Then, he said something like: Listen closely to me. There is something wrong with you. You have a schizo disorder.

PY is probably referring to schizo-affective disorder, whose symptoms do include hallucinations. However, he does not display many of the other symptoms (similar to major depression). PY tells us that doctor have given him Geodon, Lithium, and Risperdal "to stop me from hearing the Voice that calls itself YAHWEH." These are medication that are commonly given for bipolar disorder. (The National Institute of Mental Health give a good run down on possible and likely symptoms).

Then, I said: But, how could there be something wrong with me when actual spaceships and UFOs appear on my command and let me film them, and I can show you the footage.

He waved his hands as if it was not possible for it to happen.

And, then he said you may think you filmed something, but you did not film anything.

I said: What!

How can I be mentally ill when the voice I hear, that calls itself YAHWEH, proves it exist to me above any shadow of a doubt?

How can I be mentally ill when the voice I hear, that calls itself YAHWEH, sends UFOs and spaceships on my signal?

You may not understand what is happening with me but how can I be mentally ill?

I am not mentally ill!

And, he said: You may not believe that you are mentally ill, but you are mentally ill.

I said no more.

What is there to say? This is why I am fascinated by this guy - his willingness to seemingly put information like this out in the open. Of course, not even this is verifiable, beyond names and places. He provides the name of the hospital where he gets treatment. It checks out. They are a treatment center for major mental illness. He provides the name of his doctor. Check again. And?

I decided that if I let you know that I am crazy, only according to the State of California, maybe you all will feel better and say - now it makes sense.

Today's weather for Los Vegas is partly cloudy, winds 5-7 mph.

FGAQ, your one source for Prophet Yahweh updates.

Wed, 08 Jun 2005 18:06:59 GMT

Prophet Yahweh Strikes It Rich
06/08/05 2:05 PM EST

There's no news on how PY made out on yesterday's real estate proposal, but good fortune may have given him considerably more to work with than the hundred bucks he previously mentioned. Today he tells us that "The most holy and wonderful YAHWEH has arranged for me to receive $750,000 out of the clear blue sky!" Hey, I'd prefer to have that kind of cash come out of the sky rather than a UFO any day. Of course it's not all in hand yet.

The deep part of this is that whoever is doing this has given us an immediate payment of $5,000 and says that the rest of the money, $749,995 will be give to me as quick as within a week!

Oh grow up. I am not going to talk about the man's math skills.

But, it appears that I have been given a quarter million dollars!

Okay, so maybe they are a little weak. But you can't blame him for being excited.

FGAQ, your one source for Prophet Yahweh updates.

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 19:38:41 GMT

Day Seven Starts Out In All Caps
06/07/05 3:55 PM EST

Going into Day Seven, Prophet Yahweh confronts some of the same hassles common to many new celebrities, such as an overabundance of email. Hundreds of emails, so many that he can't even begin to respond. As he succinctly puts it, "The way this thing is now, I would need at least 5 computers with a dedicated staff to handle the emails I am getting." I thought about writing him and telling how to set up auto-respond, but I guess you can see the futility in all that.

And another thing: people are calling up his 800 number all crazy times of day and night and he's getting charged 10 cents a minute.

I put the number on my press release for the media, and I did not know it was actually posted to the Internet for every one to view.

Uh, PY, how exactly did you think they were going to distribute your press release? Anyway, all of this is of no matter compared to the chewing out he received last night.

Also, last night, I looked in the visions and saw nothing but blackness.

Then, the voice I hear that calls itself YAHWEH said:

"TAKE ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS AND GO GIVE IT TO HIM AND TELL HIM THAT IS ALL YOU HAVE AND GET THE RIGHTS TO USE THE PROPERTY FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE 45 DAYS."

"SUMMON ONLY THERE FOR NOW ON; YOU GAVE THE MEDIA A CHANCE TO PICK THE PLACE AND TIME."

"FORGET THAT NOW."

"DON'T FOLLOW THEIR DICTATES ANYMORE; YOU MUST FOLLOW ONLY MINE, AND THEY MUST FOLLOW WHAT YOU SAY."

"STOP LISTENING TO THEIR INSTRUCTIONS AND THEIR DEMANDS AND FOLLOW NOT THEIR ADVICE."

That's a helluva wake up call, and it also brings up an important question. Should I use a different font for the voice of YAHWEH?

"THEY MUST FOLLOW ME THROUGH YOU OR THERE IS NO DEAL."

"TAKE BACK YOUR POSITION IN LEADING THIS THING AND NEVER RELINQUISH YOUR RIGHTS, TO ANYONE, TO BE THE ONE WHO SAYS WHAT IS TO BE DONE AND HOW IT IS TO BE DONE."

"STARTING TOMORROW, TAKE ALL CALLS FOR RADIO INTERVIEWS ONCE AGAIN AND SPEAK YOUR MIND CONCERNING ALL THINGS ABOUT US."

Cool. Maybe now I can catch PY on the Neil Bortz show.

"NEVER LET ANY MEDIA, OR ANYONE ELSE, MUZZLE YOU BECAUSE THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE TO ME."

"NEVER LET ANYONE TELL YOU TO NOT TALK ABOUT THEM ON THE INTERNET AGAIN."

"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT WHEN YOU SHOULD BE REPRESENTING ME?"

"WHEN YOU DO THAT, YOU ARE NO LONGER REPRESENTING ME, YOU ARE REPRESENTING THEM."

"SO GO BACK ON THE INTERNET WITH INTERVIEWS AND WITH ANY RADIO STATION OR OTHER MEDIA WHO WANTS AN INTERVIEW."

"NEVER ENTER INTO CONFIDENTIALITY AGREEMENTS OF ANY KIND WITH ANYONE AGAIN AND SELL NOT YOUR RIGHTS TO ANYONE EVER."

"NEVER LET ANYONE TAKE CONTROL FROM YOU LIKE YOU JUST DID BY AGREEING NOT TO MENTION THEM OVER THE INTERNET AND NOT SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT IS GOING ON BECAUSE THAT COMES WITH THE DEAL."

I don't know if that's the voice of Yahweh or the voice of PY's agent.

"IF THEY CAN'T DEAL WITH IT AND ARE NOT PREPARED TO HANDLE THE PUBLIC RESPONSE, THEN FORGET THEM."

"THE SPACESHIP WILL DESCEND; IT WILL APPEAR FOR ALL TO SEE; IT WILL BE SEEN BY MANY PEOPLE IN LAS VEGAS AND AROUND THE WORLD WITH THE MEDIA PRESENT."

"REMEMBER, NEVER RELINQUISH YOUR RIGHTS AND GIVE AWAY CONTROL TO OTHERS OVER WHAT I AM DOING THROUGH YOU."

"NEVER LET ANYONE CONTROL YOU LIKE THAT AGAIN."

"I AM YAHWEH."

Try getting back to sleep after that. Well, it looks like another day without a summoning, as Prophet Yahweh has a real estate transaction to take care of.

When I heard: "TAKE ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS AND GO GIVE IT TO HIM," I saw a vision of me before a man who I've already talked to about leasing his vacant piece of property for my UFO venture.

It is so large that it will handle multiple satellite trucks if need be without taking away from my summoning area.

It seems to me to be worth more than $100 to lease that property.

But, as I heard: "TELL HIM THAT IS ALL YOU HAVE."

I will do just that, and if he accepts it and sign my agreement relinquishing rights to me, it will be the world's first official summoning site, and once again, history will have been made.

And if PY manages to get the property for a C-note, I think we can all agree we've seen a miracle.

FGAQ, your one source for Prophet Yahweh updates.

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 18:26:29 GMT

Prophet Yahweh Day 6 Down, 39 To Go
06/07/05 2:47 AM EST

Not a lot going down on the Prophet Yahweh front as day six is crossed off the calendar. He did have an epiphany of sorts, however. A vision that convinced him that it would make sense for him to contact the media since they haven't exactly been hyperactive in contacting him. Lets wish him luck, since the weather in Vegas is nice and clear today with winds diminishing to 5 mph this afternoon. Because let me tell ya, this column isn't getting any more exciting.

FGAQ, your one source for Prophet Yahweh updates.

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 15:20:53 GMT

Prophet Yahweh's Day Five Blues
06/06/05 9:47 AM EST

Prophet Yahweh spent a large part of day 5 contemplating his mission, and pondering the workings of the mainstream media. Actually, the voice of YAHWEH himself told PY "Don't summon again except for mainstream media" and "Don't go to the park except to summon for mainstream media with television cameras." (Note to Howard Kurtz: the term 'mainstream media' has officially reached the saturation point).

This was after one of those insignificant 'internet reporters' met with him yesterday for a summoning. Take it from here, PY.

But, when I stepped outside, it was to more windy than ever.

So, I called off the summoning because every one knows that I don't summon unless it is both clear and calm.

After all of them left. I laid down to rest and I heard the voice, that calls itself YAHWEH, say:

"Don't summon unless it's with the media."

And, I said to myself: well the guy from the Internet magazine qualifies for media.

Then, I heard:

"Do you really think he is media?"

I would take that as purely a rhetorical question if it had come from a less authoritative source. Sigh. Still, it's can be problematic waiting for the MSM.

I have not spoken much on my efforts to call down sightings for the media over the last couple of days.
The reason why is simple. I am sitting here waiting for them to call me back.

It is curious that the MSM has ignored this story, skeptical as they may be. KTNV ABC-13 has only recently linked their video coverage from their site, and other than a couple pieces in WorldNetDaily, that's about it.

Now the question is, what can I do to make mainstream television media assign someone to me every clear, calm day?

Another question is, how can I get the media to work with me so that all I have to do is make a call and all the television stations are present within minutes, humbly waiting on me to call my summons to order?

Good questions, Prophet Yahweh, and I am here to help. Calling Mainstream Media, Calling Mainstream Media. Give me a camera and send me to Vegas. I work cheap, type with accuracy, and can travel on a moment notice.

It's worth a shot.

FGAQ, your one source for Prophet Yahweh updates.

Mon, 06 Jun 2005 14:10:07 GMT

Prophet Yahweh alerts us to a new video by a guy who "really seems that he hates my guts!"

The video come from Prophet Noway, and can be seen here. It's a little long, but does contain a few good chuckles.

If he ran across me on a hiking trail, in the middle of no where, and he had a gun, do you think he would blow my brains out if he could get away with it and with no one knowing about it?

I don't know. Maybe he would.

I doubt that very seriously PY. I think he would be a lot more likely to ask you out for a beer. If this is the harshest attack you receive, then you're sailing pretty easy.

Sun, 05 Jun 2005 15:55:06 GMT

Prophet Yahweh Catches Up On His Email 06/05/05 9:47 AM EST

After a few frustrating days of hassling with his ISP, resolving server problems, switching his email accounts, and dealing with other prophet distracting hassles, our guy in white still has to catch up on his correspondence before he can finally settle down and get back to his primary work as spaceship summoner. Yesterday was letter day.

Much of what PY addresses are items we have briefly covered here before, such as the great Luciferean conspiracy.

They have been working behind the scenes since the most ancient times.

They recruit aggressively so that their ranks will be filled with loyal demons, the most loyal of whom will take the place of any leader who dies.

The goal of this conspiracy is to murder the souls of every person on earth so that when they are judged for their sins in the great judgment day they will be found guilty and cast into the lake of fire with them.

As a result of this Luciferian conspiracy, the souls of just about all the people, ever born on this earth, since Adam will be damned!

I don't think that anybody can disagree with the fact that this is a pretty negative agenda, but it also points to the reason why PY believes that he has been anointed for his particular task.

The reason why the UFOs are appearing on my signal is because YAHWEH, the Creator of all things, is publicly anointing and consecrating me as His prophet so that all people will know to listen to me above all others.

Also, what YAHWEH is doing is starting my ministry for me instead of me starting it myself like all other religious leaders on earth have done.

By the time YAHWEH finishes revealing Himself through me, it will be clear that my ministry will be the only one on earth that was started by the Creator with miracles.

Well, like they say, you're not paranoid if someone really is after you, and you're not grandiose if you can prove that you've got the goods. And from what PY tells us, we need to see some action.

Very soon, a series of events will start happening that will catapult the world into an unbelievable catastrophe the likes of which has never happened since man walked the earth.

The government knows all about it!

Your religious leaders know all about it.

They will not tell you because they don't want to start a mass panic.

But, I, Prophet Yahweh, Seer of the benevolent and holy YAHWEH, will tell you all about it and prove it to you as well as help you prepare for it so you and those close to you won't have to suffer!.

All good and well. To be forewarned is to be forearmed. There is one part of the PY correspondence that bothers me, however, and that comes in one of his comments on how the media is trying to subvert and discredit his message.

The attacks against me is really a war between the gods of the earth, in the minds of the people, and YAHWEH, through me.

As some of you know, all kinds of information has been posted to the Internet against me.

As far as I have seen, they are all lies (like me using balloons to hoax sightings) except for only one instance which is the truth but was presented out of context.

Hey! Prophet Yahweh is talking about me! Get with it PY, and at least throw me a link. I'm the only guy that's writing about you who doesn't have a dog in this fight! I'm writing about you because you're an interesting story. At least I'm not digging up your personal ads like some media I could mention. Just like FOX News, I report and you decide. Well, not you personally, PY - I'm talking about the other readers. You want someone to read about you with anything other than scorn or slavish devotion, you come right here to me for your news. Cause like it or not, to 99% of the people who might come across your name, you are entertainment until you prove otherwise. So straighten up and give me respect!

Oh. Uh, sorry. Just a little paranoid, that's all.

Let the summoning begin.

FGAQ, your one source for Prophet Yahweh updates.

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 15:32:16 GMT

PYIS: Praise Yahweh It's Saturday 6/04/05 2:27PM EST

Prophet Yahweh Enjoys a few moments of down time

As we enter now into a fine summer weekend, day 4 of 45, we are pleased to report that Prophet Yahweh has not yet been debunked. This is hardly surprising when we take a look at the puny effects of those such as those mounted by Aaron C. Donahue of the Luciferians, host of the low rated show Radio Aaron - Voice of Lucifer. Aaron, one of the self-proclaimed psychic viewers in the world, has listened to the Yahweh tapes backwards, and can hear the lies. If you are very bored, you may listen to his feeble attempt at debunking here.

We watched Hannity and Colmes with interest last night as the clueless one broadcast his share of the show from Las Vegas - did he dare take on Prophet Yahweh? No, he did not.

Days two and three turned out to be a bit of a wash for PY, as he was still grappling with a myriad of technical problems.

I have been so busy trying to find an answer to my site's problems, because of what haters have done to it, that I have not been able to focus on my summoning event like I should.

But now, those problems have been solved. Godlike Productions is now hosting the PY videos, which you can download for free. And there is now a PY Yahoo Group which you can join in order to get new updated reports from the man himself.

So now, at last, we can get back to the hard work of summoning spacecrafts. Weather permitting.

FGAQ, your one source for Prophet Yahweh updates.

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 19:58:57 GMT

A Hotplate Full of Paranoia

Listening to Prophet Yahweh being interviewed on the James Farra show, I heard him speak several times about the Luciferians, who were some sort of psychic filter between man and the great religions, distorting the truth to keep mankind enslaved. Or something like that.

My notes are kind of sketchy. Let's see... Something about Revelations 4 & 5... jeez, I meant to look that up... messiah comes with clouds, which derives from the Hebrew word for chariot, which is really just a vehicle with a driver, which is a spaceship... Whoa! 20,000! That is a shitload of spaceships! Oh, here you go. Luciferians control the major religions, which are involved in a conspiracy to to turn people against the messiah and angels... convince people that they're monsters, so that the majority of people will want government to kill them. [synopsis, not a quote]

So who do you think would be the first to come out and attempt to debunk PY's crazy talk? Right you are - The Luciferians!

Luciferians Aaron C. Donahue and his sister Jennifer Sharpe have issued a press release claiming to have used their psychic remote viewing powers to prove that the Prophet is a cosmic chump who is being used by higher powers to discredit the Luciferian movement.

[Just what is the Luciferian movement? It's not like I've done a lot of research here, but it seems to be tied in pretty close with the granddaddy of all conspiracies, the Illuminati and the New World Order. It all gets pretty complex, which explains, I guess, why it's so hard to get into the Masons. Whatever.]

Donahue and Sharpe both used their skills as advanced remote viewers to examine the strange jumping light in the sky as it appeared on the ABC special. They said they found that the image was no more than a projected image from three separate beams, all coming from the ground.

“The reason they chose Las Vegas is because the place is a circus. They have the technology to make it happen,” he said.

Donahue said he did a mind probe of Prophet Yahweh and found that the man is sincere. This confused him for a while.

“He isn’t lying to you. He sees UFOs,” Donahue said. “In fact, I really like this guy and I don’t want to belittle him. He really believes he is evoking UFOs.”

The problem here is that Prophet Yahweh is being used as a mere tool in order to undermine the Luciferians. And then he's adding insult to injury by praying before he summons up the spaceships.

“Prophet Yahweh is a small fish,” Donahue said. “It has been very easy to manipulate him. He is a pawn in a very big game. Someone has heard me and they do not like what I have to say. I am stunned at just how far they are willing to go.”

There's always a they, isn't there? At least PY knows who he's paranoid of - the Luciferians. Now we've got a fourth party mixed up in all of this. Prophet Yahweh, Very Organized Religion, the Luciferians, and maybe someone just a little bit bigger.

Thu, 02 Jun 2005 22:29:39 GMT

Bad Day For Yahweh, Part 2 06/02/05 2:27 PM EST

Sometimes bad news is better if you break it up into small pieces, don't you think? Gives you a chance to get a drink and a smoke, or if you're adverse to the pleasures of the flesh, not that there's anything wrong with that, maybe you can go meditate or something.

FGAQ did not receive PY's daily status report until nearly 3AM in the morning, so we can safely surmise that he was at the tale end of a very long day. There was the bad news with the servers, the thing with the money, and let's not forget the cancellation of coverage by the cowardly folks at KTNV ABC-13. Yes, we're talking about you, Mike Dello Stritto - any truth to the rumor you called in to work sick with back spasms? Talk to the hand. All in all, it was a frustrating day, with Prophet having to take care of the sort of annoyances that should fall outside of his purview. And honestly, having to deal with people's unrealistic expectations - what's a prophet to do?

Dear List,

Many people think that I said that today I was going to call down a spaceship. But, I never said that. I said that I have been given permission to start summoning on June 1 - July 15 and that it would start off with UFOs appearing and at some point during the 45 day period, a spaceship would appear.

I said that I did not know the exact day the spaceship would appear and sit in the sky for a day and a half. But, people have come here from other parts of the country expecting to see a spaceship appear the very first day of my summoning. They did not contact me until they got here. One man drove 1,200 miles from Texas to Las Vegas thinking that I was going to call down a spaceship.

If Prophet Yahweh is to polite to point it out, I'll do it for him. This is the part where he needs to point out the importance of being a good listener. 1,200 miles? I mean, duhh.

I have told people that I would not summon on days when it was raining or was too windy. When it gets to windy there is a lot of trash that is unseen in the sky. And, when it starts to fall, it mimics a UFO. I told people that I would start summoning on June 1st if it was not to windy. Today was too windy. I summon only on somewhat calm some what clear days when the sky is clear.

Is that somehow too obtuse for you people? I swear, If I were Prophet Yahweh, I wouldn't be showing nearly as much patience.

And what does the Prophet have lined up for today? Well, he's all calmed down now, and he tells us that yesterday he spoke to a reporter for the Las Vegas Review Journal.

He told me that he wanted to take his time and do a story on what I am like, what I go through, how I prepare for my summonings, and what it is like at my summonings. He said that June 2, he was coming by my home so we can meet and sit down and talk. I asked him if I could go summon for him. He said yes, but it really was not necessary for the first time he came over. He said he wanted to get to know more about me first and then we could go summon. I told him that I wanted to go summon. Regardless, he said that he would come over tomorrow.

These are the words of a man who is absolutely ready to do himself some summoning. And, there's another television station with a confidential agreement that I can't tell you about, but it's pretty big news, I think. At least, the typeface is bold. Let's wrap it up, PY.

This is only the first day of a 45 day period. YAHWEH will connect things up and bring them to fruition in His time. And His time will be the right time. This is it! The moment I have been waiting for has come. It will reveal itself in a magnificent way.

Just sit back and let YAHWEH be YAHWEH, through me, and not try to make YAHWEH be YAHWEH.

FGAQ, your one source for Prophet Yahweh updates.

Thu, 02 Jun 2005 18:28:23 GMT

Bad Day For Yahweh 06/02/05 2:27 PM EST

Prophet Yahweh got off to a bad start on the opening round of his 45 day Vegas stint, plagued by a combination of server outages, bad weather, and rampant expectations.

The first (almost) exclusive communiqué that I received from PY in the wee hours of the morning contained some bad news about his video feeds. "In order to make my videos available to the masses, I had to purchased a video streaming account with an Internet Streaming Provider," he told FGAQ. Uh-oh, we think we know where this is leading. "The way I was planning things, my monthly video bill would be somewhere between $300 - $600 every month." See, that's just a bad assumption from the get go. I once had a boss that told me when you assume something, you make an ass out of u and me. She wrote this on a piece of paper, circling the letters as she delivered the punch line. Needless to say, I hated her.

The upshot of this is that "THE WORLD IS RUNNING UP MY STREAMING BILL PAST WHAT I CAN AFFORD TO PAY." Yes, of course they are. For every legitimate journalist such as myself, there are a dozen poseurs. Make that a hundred poseurs - I don't have exact figures. And then there are those who share their logins with their friends, or those who just hack in without paying their very reasonable $7.95. Not that they could pay, now that "IT APPEARS THAT SOMEONE MAY HAVE BEEN SABOTAGING THE PAYMENT SYSTEM." This is sad news, indeed, and I guess that all we can do is wait for video footage on the daily news.

An hour later, another missive arrived with the assurance that everyone will be getting a refund of their meager membership fees. All right - the Prophet is not without honor in his own land. "No one who paid the $7.95 has to worry about if they will get their money back. Because, I represent YAHWEH, and my honor and my words are all I have. And, I will not let it fail over a few $7.95 payments." This guy is okay, don't you think?

FGAQ, your one source for Prophet Yahweh updates.

Thu, 02 Jun 2005 18:26:36 GMT

Previous PY Posts

"It's Too Quiet Out There" 06/01/05 12:22 PM EST

Those were the words of President George W Bush today as he waited in vain for the KTNV ABC-13 broadcast of Prophet Yahweh's first day of spaceship summoning.

"Outrageous," said the chief executive when he was instead confronted with today's installment of 'One Life to Live'. "They have these soaps on all the time - you'd think they could clear half an hour for something of this magnitude. I wonder what the heck happened".

Fried Green al-Qaedas will tell you what the heck happened, Mister President. KTNV started feeling the heat, that's what happened. We somehow knew that Mike Dello Stritto would turn out to be yellow. It's sickening. Although not available for direct questioning, Prophet Yahweh has provided FGAQ with the following statement.

As you know, a couple of days ago, I sent you a release stating that ABC TV-13, after filming a UFO appearing on my signal, contacted me telling me that they wanted to do "LIVE" coverage of me calling down UFOs and Spaceships.

I was so very happy! Words can not express how I felt.

They even posted the footage of the sighting to their website, located at:

http://www.ktnv.com

When you get to their home page, you will see where it says:

"Summoning UFOs"

Click it and then click on "UFO Video"

Well, this morning, I got a call from ABC TV-13 saying that they were not going to grant me an opportunity to go live with my summonings!

I asked them why, and they said something about how the whole thing is being blown out of proportion and they needed to be able to focus on local news.

I said, local news! Local news! What better local news is there going on in Las Vegas greater than this?

I listened to them and lost my cool and told the man that he was a journalistic coward!

He said that he was going to continue to stand by his decision.

I told him that his decision was going to prove that he is a journalistic coward!

It seems like the station is coming under great pressure to not cover any more of my summonings.

Regardless, the Las Vegas Review Journal, and the Las Vegas Tribune, the local newspapers, contacted me to meet as soon as possible.

Also, another television crew in Los Angeles said that they would be here in a days notice.

And there are others.

I am going to put ABC TV-13 behind me and focus on the others.

I will not be ignored!

All local Las Vegas media will be forced to give in when they see the power that YAHWEH is going to reveal Himself through me.

Starting tomorrow, you will see my communications with you increase and the new UFO videos I am uploading to the site for you to see.

Sincerely,

Prophet Yahweh
Seer of Yahweh

FGAQ, your one source for Prophet Yahweh updates.

Mothership Connection 05/31/05 10;03 AM EST

It won't be long now - just a scant few hours - until Prophet Yahweh hits the stage in Vegas. Stage, of course, being used figuratively. Somewhere a kettle drum is doing whatever it is a kettle drum does when building up a head of hearty anticipation.

Penn bites his nails, while Teller talks to himself in a scratchy whisper. Could it be the two have met their match this time? Penn curses the red pixels of their bulletin board, and consoles himself with the fact that no one reads it anyway. Four days have passed since the challenge first arrived. Thus far it remains unmet.

Dear Penn and Teller, Come on guys! Debunk this guy already. He's on your home turf. Surely you've something up your respective sleeves that can equal this "stunt", no? After your debunking of UFOs on your BS show, surely you can do something about this too. PLEASE!!!

Silence. If everybody will quiet down for a moment, I have a new message from Prophet Yahweh. Good news, indeed.

Dear Lists,

I got a call from ABC TV-13 this morning.

They said that they wanted me to summon, over live television, for all their viewers to see on Wednesday morning, June 1, 2005!

Their station reaches all of Southern Nevada and the border cities, of which Las Vegas is one of them.

This is the moment I have been working so hard for!

Now, shall YAHWEH, the Creator King of the universe, permanent intervene in the affairs of this world!

It will be done and nothing shall hinder it!

Prepare to be stunned as the first of many sightings will be documented on the first day of my first Media-Only Summoning Event starting June 1 - July 15, 2005.

Yours In YAHWEH's Love And Mercy,

Prophet Yahweh
Seer of Yahweh

FGAQ, your one source for Prophet Yahweh updates.

We Ride With the Prophet 05/30/05 12:13 PM EST

Fried Green al-Qaedas is proud to inform you that following yesterdays piece on Prophet Yahweh, we have applied for and received press credentials, allowing us unfettered access to his website and the treasures within. We've got ten different videos of him summoning UFO's from Los Angeles and Las Vegas. And starting in a couple of days, he'll be pulling a six week stint for the media. "I'm at 4 Zoom now, 72X. Wow... Mmm. Praise Yahweh. This is proof that we are not alone on this planet... I mean universe. There, gonna come off of it right quick. Uh, excuse me... and that alien beings are here, revealing themselves to those who would like to see them. And I am one... You got it back? Where'd it go? It's right up there somewhere... Aw man, what happened? It disappeared."

And I'm on the Prophet Yahweh mailing list! How cool is that? Just this morning I got a note from him telling me to go to someone else's web site (http://www.bibleufo.com) if I had any questions about UFOs and the Bible. "It's not that I don't know some of those things well enough to teach you myself," he explained. "But, I simply can't because of what all I must go through over the next two months." Not only a prophet, but a gentleman as well.

Stay tuned to FGAQ for all your Prophet Yahweh breaking news.

Prophet Yahweh Live in Las Vegas!

"Be advised", warns the text on his website, "Yahweh and his angels are superhuman beings, on other planets, who fly in space ships". All right then! Prophet has not only seen these spaceships, he has the power to make them appear. On Wednesday he issued a press release stating that for the period between June 1st and July 15th, he will be summoning these UFOs to appear over Las Vegas on demand, for the benefit of the media. Well, anyone can issue a press release, and this one didn't make much of a splash. On Friday night, Prophet (his legal name) made an appearance on the Alan Colmes radio show. Take it away, News Hounds.

Mr. Yahweh claims to have discovered that he has the ability to summon "on my cue" objects from space. Now he is "being told to" share this with the rest of the world. Sometime between June 1 and July 15, a spaceship is "going to descend and sit up over Las Vegas for about a day and a half" in order to prove to the media "once and for all the answer to the question, 'are we alone in the universe?'"

Colmes expressed pleasure that this event will be verifiable and said he wants one of the spacemen to come on the show.

Well, sure Alan, I bet you do. Okay, what I've got here is video from ABC affiliate KTNV, which I found via World Net Daily - not exactly the most reliable source in the world. (At the moment, they are the only source for the story - I can't even find the story at KTNV). The video shows Prophet doing exactly what he says he can do.

A hoax? Most likely. But a very entertaining one at the very least. I've compared the anchors to Tricia Keene and Steve Wolford and they're a match, as is the rest of the visual information that I'm able to check. Like I said, very entertaining. The usual chit chat and promos - "forget the the short term fixes and diets that don't work, Kathy Rhea has a plan that can help you win the battle of the bulge." Then, for 'another look at the paranormal' (it's paranormal week at KTVNV) let's go to Mike Dello Stritto. Now this is fun. Mister Yahweh seem like the sort of regular guy you might find on a barstool next to you, except when he starts praying for a sighting so that "I can show that I am not mentally ill" and that "I am not a false prophet like those who seek to kill me say I am". You know what happens next - UFOs! Everyone seems surprised, especially Prophet. ("Oh my goodness") Dello Stritto reports "I called my boss to report an unexpected change in my story."

"It's coming back to us, now..."

"Whuh?"

"See, it's coming back towards us."

"WHOA! Man! Oh, Hallelujah!"

Oh, I can't urge you strongly enough to watch this. It's classic. If nothing else, go just to see the transition to the weatherman - "lets go straight to Desert Dopler. That's not the best for picking up UFOs, but I tell you, it's pretty good for thunderstorms..."

Here's the video.