Mark Hoback: salonika2

Sun, 26 Jan 2003 06:08:55 GMT

The new Virtual Occoquan is now on line.

Mon, 06 Jan 2003 12:21:19 GMT

This is your only notice.
The brand new oh-so-delicious Virtual Occoquan is out, featuring culinary masterpieces from Rayne, Scotchman, Me, Gentleman George, Jan Haugland, Daniel Dolinov, and of course, Paul Hinrichs.

Plus the Yawp on the impending war, Kit Fox on Satan, Maxine on Fortuna, VeryModern on Brandy, FWTBT on arms inspections, Kriselda on child molesters, Rob S on 'Gangs of New York, Ian Eletz on slashers, replicator in Steelers territory, and Susan McNerney on the Bush Clone.

Virtual Occoquan - the all you can eat issue.

Wed, 25 Dec 2002 20:12:24 GMT

Christmas Blogging (the complete collection)

As of 3:05 PM EST December 25, the following piece includes every single writer who has posted today. This is such a treat. I’ve always wanted to write a piece that includes everybody. It’s like the times when I’ll pop into the neighborhood pub and there are only a handful of people there – that’s when I’ll buy a round for the house. And feel quite good about myself.

An Bingbing debuts on Christmas day. God, not another lefty political blog, I says, but there’s this damn fine piece on Uncle Tom’s Cabin and Colin Powell.

Paulapalooza has pneumonia and yet still finds the time to wish us a Merry Christmas.

Standing Room Only has a wonderful interview with Christ. Don’t miss it.

I think that it’s Christmas over in the land of the midnight sun (although I believe they’re in the season of the noontime moon right now). Secular Blasphemy does a good piece on Atheism.

Musings From The Left Coast has a short piece on Iraq and North Korea.

What can I say about Tales of Drudgery or Rene Hoornweg? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Blodgett starts the day with a little poem, throws in a picture of Santa, and begins drinking early. Cheers buddy. It’s mimosas at the Round Raoul complex.

A blog doesn’t need a clever name, Ted Rizer, and readme.blog send Christmas greetings.

Julie/Julia writes about Christmas Eve dinner.

And me, I wrote this.

Sun, 15 Dec 2002 19:05:33 GMT

Hey, remember yesterday when I told you that the brand new

was on-line? That was kinda true. I mean it was on-line. It just wasn't complete.
Now it is, so go visit. No, really, now. I don't have all day.

Sat, 14 Dec 2002 04:31:02 GMT

Used to be known as the Slogers Quality Tour. Tonight it’s all about me.

Does everyone know what ‘Q-ratings’ are? If not, then briefly; they are a system whereby politicians, entertainers, and various others in the public eye have to find their place in popular culture. There are two vectors involved: unknown to universally recognized, and loved to hated {likeability rating). They determine what niche a person can fill in the media world. For example, many years ago, G Gordon Lidey had a Q-rating that place him fairly high, maybe six, on the familiarity rating, and low on the likeability rating. He wisely turned this into an opportunity of playing B grade villains on television, and then parlayed this into a broadcasting career.

So tonight, I celebrate me! I said Vacant Lott’s Q’s were low, and assigned him the role of Lumpy. He’s grown into it. He made me write it. Oh man, you don’t even need a link. Best thing on the Slogs tonight. Just scroll down. Hooray for FGAQ!

Weird and true story. For the top link I searched on ‘Q-ratings + celebrity’. There, on the first page, ranked #8, is this.

I’ve been missing a lot of updated logs lately, since job-wise I’ve been too busy lately to take reading breaks. It’s not gonna change. Everyone should whine. Give us a 24 hour clock!!!!

And do the comments and blog mail work even half the time? I would be embarrassed…

Things I learned at happy hour tonight. 73-year-old women can still kiss good, if you close your eyes… My former FBI friend told me about the Bone-yard in Tennessee. (I’ll write about it later)… My African relief aid worker friend supposedly can make lasagna. We’ll see about that... That asshole I saw the other night was named Shawn. And so much more. Everything I’ve learned, I learned at the DownUnder.

Reflections is having wardrobe problems at work. It’s hard dressing for success if you just don’t dig the clothes. Two words for you, Daniel. Black. White.

Oh my god! So many things to think about. Kissinger, mushrooms, Lott, mushrooms, Johnny Horton – who I do agree wrote the best song ever about sinking a submarine, and mushrooms. Playing with my food. I love mushrooms.

Do I ever finish a column without mentioning Gentleman George? Okay. It’s my column. And I look for his updates just like a hog looks for slop.

Okay. My stuff on Salonika looks like shit. Why? Dunno, put it into Front Page, table it, take off headers, etc. Don’t work! Still, work with this is much as you can, you crazy people. Christian is doing a great job.

I would have posted an hour ago, but VeryModern…

It’s true. I like the Devil’s Excrement as much as anyone. It’s Venezuela at it’s most dynamic. But has anyone ever seen a piece with more links than this?

And so, the Salon Blogs Quality Tour ends up at the most disgustingly name blog of them all. [thanks, Miguel]. Listen, the good thing is that a lot of folks are starting to write about the other quality things that are at Salon. And I do mean quality. Some damn fine writing going on in this space. Much more than I could ever credit. I’m proud to write here.

mfh

p.s. thanks to SR for all his support.

Thu, 12 Dec 2002 01:03:57 GMT

Quality Tour

Help: Yesterday someone posted an article on a mail list they had created for Sloggers and I wanted to check it out. Please notify me if you know where this is.

"The way it should work," Schlagowsky told me, “Is I write about what’s goin’ on, and you basically mind your own beeswax.”
“What you been listenin to,” say I, “Salkowitz’s bullshit?”
“He’s better than Chris Mathews, I think you gotta admit. Liz. Liz!”
“Okay” Liz says. It’s Hoback again. “Maybe you would like to check out some of Raven’s selections.”
At Gentleman George Mahood’s, Schlagowsky develops a retail strategy.

FIONA is just a little pissed off about the Republican Smirk.

The Barbaric Yawp uncovers the startling fact that Sports Fans drink more alcohol than non fans. To add gravitas to his article, he is searching for the Latin word for Duh.

“Ari Fleischer is a demon possessed by all that is evil.” So begins G.Troy Pickett’s Take, as he runs through the last ninety-six hours or so of our national woes.

Thinkler is a term that Aaron gave me for a writer who also does a lot of linking. The folks at Salon that I’ve been calling LinkLogs all fall into this category. A brave and brutally honest piece today from Tenorman.

goodnight

Wed, 11 Dec 2002 01:08:56 GMT

Your Salon Blog Tour of Quality

New blog Catnmus has her first two articles posted, the latest being about Strom Thurmond and Trent ‘Vacant’ Lott. More commentary on these two ‘gentlemen’ can be found at Different Strings. And Notes From Atlanta furnishes a nice list of research tools which include Lott columns and Thurmond audio. Way to go, Salon Bloggers*.

*The phrase ‘Salon Bloggers’ has too many syllables and will henceforth be replaced by ‘Sloggers’.

No Code writes a chilling and terrific little true story from the ER here.

Another good real-life piece from The Preacher, a remembrance of Earl the Gravedigger.

Confession: I don’t like poetry much, even though I sometimes write it. (Being a nice guy, I rarely post it where you can read it). But Googobits publishes a nice bit by Frank O’Hara, along with their obit for Mal Waldron.

Paulapalooza provides some writing tips from Anne Lamott, which suddenly make me feel very likable. It should cheer up at least half the Sloggers who read this piece.

I feel a bit remiss in not having mentioned the new serial novel Tilt – by Gary Goldhammer. After all <clears throat> I have the greatest respect for this sort of endeavor. Finally got to it with today’s post, and so far, it’s a good read. Now if I can just find the time to catch up on Maxine’s novel and Hugh’s play, I’ll be momentarily caught up.

goodnight

Fri, 06 Dec 2002 23:04:43 GMT

Your Salon Blog Tour of Quality

Gentleman George Mahood. Gentleman George Mahood. I can’t get enough of it. I’m going to keep on saying this until GGM is getting at least as many hits as Pornographers Picks. Well, maybe not that long…

LinkLog miss feva introduces me to Bust magazine, and for that I must say thanks Neva. Thank you very much.

“Canadians think America is collapsing into an intolerant, paranoid, and insecure society where normal politics and criticism have been outlawed, and are almost universally against American policies.” Toby’s Political Diary has an insightful personal piece on Canada’s take on American politics.

Red Rock Blues seems a little depressed today. I’ll bet it would cheer him up if everyone went over and visited his blog. Or I can recommend what always seems to work for me: drink heavily.

DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
CART MASTER: 'Ere. He says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER: Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not!
CART MASTER: He isn't?
CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon. He's very ill.
DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better!
…..chick truths is back.

Also returning to the land of the living is G. Troy Pickett’s Take, with some choice words for BushCorp.

Which brings us to everybody’s favorite feature:

She’s melting. Let’s drink her. The Salon Blog Death Watch really must say goodbye to the Adorable Roxi Morokco. (We have to make room for Gentleman George.) Born July 28, 2002. Died August 8, 2002. The sad thing is that she probably was adorable, and that name it was absolutely adorable. She had zest! She had wit! She had exclamation points! And now she’s gone. Last words: “Just admit it you guys; you love her! Anna Nicole!”

goodnight

Fri, 06 Dec 2002 01:09:18 GMT

Your Salon Blog Tour of Quality

Let’s start right out with the new.

Zoe’s Human launched today. I don’t know what a Zoe is, but I do know that the author is named Tamar, and that she follows the Israeli media to some degree. Her subhead forcefully states ‘I am not a media whore’. Hmm, let us be the judge of that Tamar.

Ripple in Still Water is live now. I don’t have an opinion yet, but Emphasis Added has kind words for the author, so we’ll keep an eye out.

Okay. Real, Live Preacher. This is the sort of thing that makes this column worthwhile. The Pastor makes a strong introduction for him/her self. “By the way, did you know that Peter and Paul both cursed in the New Testament? Yep, and what they said was a hell of a lot worse than shit! It’s right there in the original language.” Let’s keep our fingers crossed (hee hee, I said crossed) for this one.

Bloglantis is a LinkLog that immediately caught my attention with their ref to a hermaphroditic half-albino lobster. The web is a wonderful thing.

New law to go into effect immediately. There will be a five hundred dollar fine to anyone who uses any variation of the word ‘blog’ in the title of their blog.

CJ’s Bullhorn provides a link to a very interesting report from the PEW Research Center titled ‘What the World Thinks in 2002’. CJ says that it should be mandatory reading, and I’d have to agree.

My sweet baboo, Maxine, has been on fire lately. If you don’t read her, let’s face it, you just aren’t worthy.

Fried Green al-Qaedas (I never tire of the fake link joke) hasn’t written one damn interesting thing this entire week.

goodnight

Thu, 05 Dec 2002 05:09:34 GMT

Your Salon Blog Tour of Quality

Yo, I’m back, and I’m proud.

“Temperature rising/Fever is high/Can’t see no future/Can’t see now sky…” Yes, John Lennon once described exactly how I feel about writing tonight’s edition. Rayne, The Raven, and Andrew Bayer did such a fine job on this column the past few days that I am feeling …under pressure. I think I can, I think I can, I know I can, as the little train once said. I’ll kick their collective asses.

I liked Farrfeed today… Diners are a dying breed in much of the country, but apparently in New Mexico there are plenty to choose from. Because you don’t have the time, FGAQ does it for you. Two words you might not know: sopaipilla, which is described by Epicurious thusly. “This crisp, puffy, deep-fried pastry resembles an air-filled pillow. The sopaipilla is thought to have originated in Albuquerque, New Mexico, more than 200 years ago. It's a favorite Southwestern U.S. dessert, usually served with honey or syrup flavored with anise or cinnamon.” And menudo, which I always thought was a Mexican boy band, according to Vivocincodemayo is “a wonderfully aromatic soup made of tripe, hominy and chili, and is stewed for hours with garlic and other spices. the broth is rich, red, papery, and glistens with fat.”

Hey look at me. I’m cutting edge! I just wrote a cooking column!

Googobits! Yeah! Nothing like it that I know of. In spite of its subject matter, I find it a very life-affirming column, showing the significance of the lives of people you probably have never heard of.

I reffed this no-name log a couple of days ago, but I’m not gonna do it again. Ugg. I want to stay positive, but not talking is the best I can do. Guess.

From No Code reffing Jay Leno "According to the oldest person in the world, a 121-year old French woman, the secret to long life is to start every day with a little bit of olive oil. That's not new, Popeye's been doing that for years."

Tenorman. Raven says the new incarnation is interesting, and that’s enough for me to want to give it a new look. There are a lot of links (and sorry, just don’t have time to check them out today), but the layout looks good, and the refs look promising. I’ll be back. [Quote from the column “Sure, blame it on MH, haven't heard that one before.”] Oh yeah? I sure have…

Salon Blog Death Watch: Was It amusing? Yeah, kind of. Fiasco was in it’s own way, I guess, SORT of a amusing weblog. But not a thirty-day kind of amusing. Not a pay your frigging forty bucks kind of amusing, ya know? Well, they’re gone now, and we’re now worse off for the (in the bastardized sense of the word) loss .Born: july 24, 2002. Died: August 4, 2002. Last words:” Diana walked over to us, gave a little shove to my head, and said, "Yeah, I think I'll have a girl next." Okay.

All right. That’s it. All my heartaches, all my sorrows, they’ll be behind me soon. Who knows? Maybe there will be a new episode of ‘Leave It to Beaver’ soon.

It could happen.

goodnight

Sun, 01 Dec 2002 03:39:56 GMT

Presenting the world’s quickest edition of
Your Salon Blog Tour of Quality

Reader’s Note: This column will be guest written at different locations on Dec. 1-3.

Dec. 1 - Rayne Today
Dec. 2 - The Raven
Dec. 3 - Andrew Bayer is Dreaming of China

(see what this column can look like with quality writers!)

So. Me and Evan have had a long day, and we'll summarize by saying that probably everyone that we've written about the past couple of days probably has a really good column today, unless they're on vacation, in which case I suggest that you might want to read the many wonderful things that have been posted at FGAQ lately.

I keep telling you about Googobits. Where else can you get a post entitled "Mary Bright, 48, Curtain Maker Who Used Unorthodox Materials, Dies"?

Hey, what am I supposed to do here? Literally everybody on the recently updated list that I could write about is either on the new Virtual Occoquan or I've written about them in the past two days or they've posted notes saying they had a nice vacation and plan on writing again soon. I've looked at one new blog three times cause it's changed it's name three times...

Lisa Guernsey finally gets around to refing her NY Times article, but everyone else has refed it by now, so go there on the odd chance you haven't already seen it.

Seriously folks, this is all the excitement I can kick up tonight. This could be a lonely gig come Christmas...

The Salon Blog Death Watch is very afraid that The Adorable Roxi Morokco may come to a tragic end before I return, and thus provide you with this link so that the carpetbaggers listed above don't have a shot at the obituary before I return. Remember, click on this link only if that adorable little sprite is in imminent danger of going down.

goodnight

Sun, 01 Dec 2002 02:34:15 GMT

Hello! I just put it to bed!
The all new, constantly improved

VIRTUAL OCCOQUAN
Guess you'd better check it out now!

With David Fox, FIONA, The Raven,
The Barbaric Yawp, Kriselda Jarnsaxa,
Robert Crook, Mark Hoback, Rob Salkowitz,
Jan Haugland, Maxine Dailey, Stan Keaton,
Gentleman George Mahood, VeryModern,
Rayne, Daniel Dolinov, Susan McNerney, and
a very special appearance by the DC Divas.

If it wasn't free, you'd swear it was better than butter.

Sat, 30 Nov 2002 01:07:03 GMT

Your Salon Blog Tour of Quality

Reader’s Note: This column will be guest written at different locations on Dec. 1-3.

Dec. 1 - Rayne Today
Dec. 2 - The Raven
Dec. 3 - Andrew Bayer is Dreaming of China

A special FGAQ tip of the hat goes out to Jan Haugland for educating me on how to link to a specific article on a page (rather than just the page itself). And it's right about time, too. My previous method of sending the writer a note and asking them to refrain from posting for the next 24 hours was simply not working...

Here's a new angle I bet you haven't heard before. At Rayne Today, marvel at the oddity of a wife complaining about her husbands shopping addiction.

I particularly enjoyed Urban Kayak today, because I had no idea what the hell it was about. I mean this in the best possible way. I could of sworn it was from Korea, but maybe it's from Finland.

True Confessions: I like Vanity Fair, because I am fond of commercial photography. My wife likes Vanity fair because she really enjoys the articles. Standing Room Only does us both a big favor by reducing the entire new issue into a three minute read.

I was thinking of seeing 'Solaris' (not deep thoughts, mind you), but Maxine has pretty much put that out on my long list (right below 'Punch Drunk Love') with her review. And I always thought women would pay top dollar to see George Clooney's butt. How wrong I was.

The Salon Blog Death Watch must now say goodbye to As the Earth Turns. This environmental news blog was dedicated to saving the modern world from the destruction that can be wrought by humankind. Not dedicated enough, however, to extend beyond the Salon Blogs 30 day free trial. Born: July 28, 2002 Died: August 18, 2002. Final words: "The cat's definitely out of the bag on this one."

goodnight

Fri, 29 Nov 2002 01:05:32 GMT

Your Salon Blog Tour of Quality

Reader’s Note: This column will be guest written on Dec. 1-3.

Dec. 1 - Rayne Today
Dec. 2 - The Raven
Dec. 3 - Andrew Bayer is Dreaming of China

“Mark?”

The voice caught me by surprise and made me jump half out of my seat.

“Jesus!” I exclaimed.

“Yes, Mark,” said Jesus, looking more than a little perturbed. “You didn’t really watch that Tim McGraw special last night, did you?”

“I was planning on it,” I said. “I dunno, the satellite was acting up, so I just went down the street for a couple of drinks.”

“A couple?” He replied, a note of sarcasm in His voice. “Never mind. I just wanted to take a look at some more of the Salon Blogs.”

I showed him The Barbaric Yawp. Having recently discovered that the Yawp is an ordained minister, I though He might be interested. Today’s post discusses Bush, Lyndon Johnson, and pseudo-celebrities. “Nothing about me,” he muttered, and we moved on.

“Let’s look at this one,” He said.
“Oh, you just like the name Gnosis,” I replied. ”I don’t think you’d like it today. It’s all about football.”
“Clicketh” he told me, and when I did, I saw there was a link that I had missed – The Football Jesus.

We took a look at Necrolicious’ article on democracy and the loss of faith. Jesus just shook his head sadly.

“Tenorman.net,” I said quizzically. “What’s that?”
“He used to blog here a long time ago,” replied Jesus, “and now, much like Lazarus…”

I could tell He was ready for something a bit more lighthearted, so we clicked over to Pesky the Rat where we read about Bush and Insane Turkeys. “Redundant,” quipped Jesus. We laughed and laughed.

“Listen, Jesus, I’d really like to spend some more time with you and all, but there’s this tribute to Elvis on TV that I’d really like to see, you know…”

“I understand. Go ahead and visit the pub,” He replied.

goodnight

Wed, 27 Nov 2002 23:41:47 GMT

Your Salon Blog Tour of Quality

So I’m on the road, trying to find something decent on the radio, and I stumble across this guy, Judge Andrew Napolitano. He is sitting in on a talk show, and has become very worked up by recent sociological events. Well, what ho, that’s understandable enough. I listen closer. What can be upsetting the good judge so? Oh. Okay. It’s an advertising campaign, one that asks “What would Jesus drive?”

The core message is that Jesus would most certainly not drive a gas-guzzling SUV, and the Judge is having none of it, explaining somewhat impatiently that Jesus usually walked, but occasionally drove a donkey. There is controversy on the issue, for sure, with one caller suggesting that Jesus would drive a SUV so that he could haul around all of the Apostles (a line suspiciously close to one quoted in the article I just REFD).

Whatever. They would not get down to specific makes and models, meaning it was not one of the more fascinating topics I’ve heard lately, so I quickly spun the dial.

(I mean, assuming that he didn’t drive an SUV, would Jesus drive a Pontiac Firebird, and if so, what year? And furthermore, I would have liked it much more if the show had gotten into more speculative issues. For example, would Jesus drive a Stealth bomber? What if Superman and Aquaman got into a fight (under water) – who would win?).

But it did get me thinking. If He were to stumble upon Salon Blogs, What would Jesus read?

I know some of the things that Jesus is interested in, but I can’t claim to know them all. Certainly He would stop by FGAQ for a moment or two, but where else might he go?

I’m pretty sure that Jesus would stop by and see Raven, because The Raven is just blathering on, and Jesus likes that sort of thing. (Jesus told me not to bother linking, as he already knows where everything is). He would probably want to check out Rayne and Hugh and Kriselda, and – I don’t know, probably just about everyone at the Virtual Occoquan site.

But then, I guess, I would have to tell Jesus that it’s been a pretty slow blogging night. Action slows down around the weekends and holiday. Jesus would have wept.

I probably would recommend Gentleman George Mahood for the tantalizing takes on holiday cooking. I know He likes cakes and cookies, because I saw his favorite desert here. He might also like to see Eating My Own Food, if only because they didn’t have TurDukens in his prime.

Perhaps he would like to go to FarrFeed, because John writes about Navajo punk band Blackfire. The fact that they do a song with the late great Joey Ramone was enough to catch my interest, and surely His as well. (Joey will be playing this Saturday, in case you get the call.)

Reflections is hanging out with Beatniks, so it seems, and Jesus would surely like to post a comment or two on just where this sort of behavior can lead.

About now, I suppose that I would tell Jesus that I really wanted to watch the Tim McGraw special (I know that Jesus wouldn’t stay), even though in truth I planned to head down the hill and straight to the pub as soon as I heard his car pull out of the driveway.

goodnight

Wed, 27 Nov 2002 00:58:43 GMT

Your Salon Blog Tour of Quality

This is a holiday version of the quality tour, and I've got something I need to get off my chest. Oh Lord, I do hate to ever have to apologize, but I've got to admit that I was a real asshole last week. I dissed some of the Salon Blog writers a few days ago, and I owe them all an apology. In specific, I'm speaking of Hootenanny, K-Pasa, and Mr. George. I'm not all that. No excuses.

That's not what I want to be about, folks. It was uncalled for, and henceforth I shall only sing the praises of the folks who reside inside.

Googobits celebrates the life and career of architect Radoslav Kovacevic, a renowned designer of religious structures. I have been asked whether I actually like this blog or if I'm goofing on it. I like it, okay? It has a very distinct sensibility, which is expressed here.

This is from way back on Monday, but I just saw it at The Agora and had to ref it. It appears that politically correct toy manufacturers have dispensed with Mister Potatohead's pipe. That's just wrong, on so many levels.

And if that wasn't disturbing enough, over at Everything That Sucks, Amanda gets hit on by Santa...

Different Strings confronts the argument that the repercussions of slavery are responsible for current failings amongst members of the Black population.

see David Fox.

goodnight

Mon, 25 Nov 2002 23:08:49 GMT

Your Salon Blog Tour of Quality

Pesky the Rat has the inside information regarding the John Ashcroft ‘War on Redwoods’.

Over at Reflections, Daniel Dolinov makes a number of unflattering remarks about mega-star Babs. I’d have to say that anyone who has ever seen ‘Yentel’ and not been profoundly touched must have a heart of stone.

And the bitchiness just keeps on, It must be a Monday thing. The Raven has the unmitigated gall to poke fun at our nations fine Education Majors. A typical jab: At the end of a four-year program of study, the Ed Major can produce astonishingly meaningless statements like, "The facilitator structures the learning environment to meet the needs of a diverse population of learners."

She’s Actual Size is trying out a new feature which she threatens to make a regular: Cocktail Hour. I’ll drink to that.

What not to eat at Cocktail Hour. Urban Kayak, the weblog from Korea, discusses Ulysses and Lord of the Rings, but the thing that really caught my attention was the mention of Squid Jerky. Boy, howdy!

We’ve had blog novels, blog fantasies, and blog haiku, but I believe Standing Room Only is the first to weigh in with a play. The first scene of act 1 of ‘The Goddess’ is online today.

You are certainly welcome to visit Secular Blasphemy, but I’m posting this link from Jan in it’s entirety: Google spin of the day For HP Lovecraft fans: Cthuugle!

The Salon Blog Death Watch: It’s time to say goodbye to Ten Miles From Disneyland. This poor blog lived for only two days, July 25-26, 2002, and yet managed to rack up a very respectful 738 hits. Final words: “Nine tons of squid washed ashore in La Jolla, California + Thousands of residents flock to the beech with Marinara sauce and lemon wedges.”

Goodnight.

Sun, 24 Nov 2002 20:32:40 GMT

Your Salon Blog Tour of Quality

A very quick and dirty tour, as it is only an hour till kick-off (Redskins/Rams) and I certainly won’t be in any shape to write when I get home.

Eerily, Life On Earth has a perfect description of my morning.

That kooky Googobits chronicles Lynda Van Devanter.

NewBlog The Accidental Blog thinks that white people just aren’t funny. That is so wrong.

Does anyone know what this site is? I’m getting traffic from there, and I don’t even know what language it is.

Hey! This is Wacky Day, obviously. Miss Feva is linking to Iranian.com (hey, you think these links are free?) but then I scroll down and see something about a Beastie Boys laser show, so naturally I want to leave a comment but there’s nowhere to leave it.

Oh my god, I love the foreign blogs. Check this from Michel Vuijlsteke: “Sweet Baby Jesus. What the fuck happened? Christina Aguilera op Top of the Pops. In een leren bikini en bijpassende string. En verder nog wat vodden en beenbeschermers aan. En da's al. En met een buikje. En voortdurend crotch shots. Ugh.”

It’s old news now, but if I had posted last night, I certainly would have pointed to Driver 8’s publication of a very corny and very funny Abbott and Costello Routine.

News and updates. We’re going to try something new in a few days. Guest writers. Yes, three other Salon Blogs columnists will take a turn at writing the Salon Blog Quality Tour. Applause. Curtain. Commission.

Possibly Coming Soon: The Salamis!

Later. It's 3:31, almost time for kickoff.

Sun, 24 Nov 2002 18:47:59 GMT

All right people. At 1:44 PM EST, the new edition of
Virtual Occoquan
is now on line.

Virtual Occoquan.
What Salon Blogs looks like dead.

Sat, 23 Nov 2002 02:41:16 GMT

Your Salon Blog Tour of Quality

I’m feeling much better now. Not cranky at all. I found my Prozac, and also located my little yellow ones. Today is Friday, and I do raise a toast to all of you Weekend Warriors, unless you happen to work in the service industry, in which case I say hey now!

The very weird Googobits has a heavily linked farewell to Victor Herbert, a scientist known for his work on dietary deficiencies. (I like Googobits. May I be in there when I die?).

Our friend Maxine has been kissed by an angel – the Queen of Xanga, VeryModern. Newer readers should go and check both of them.

In atonement for many of the terrible deeds that I have committed recently while my personalities have kind of slipped in and out of place – not that it’s been a problem giving you objective coverage - let me just say that I very much like Miguel Octavio’s weblog, no matter what the name… oh, Prozac kickin’ in.

Michel Vuijlsteke has an excellent link to the ‘Photographic History of Michael Jackson’s Face’. Be very afraid.

BradNickel.com Web Marketing? Is it just me, or is Salon Blogs a very weird spot to put a consulting site. Here, if you’re interested.

Filchyboy writes an interesting piece on the chocolate trade and child slavery, informed in part by his experience of working for ‘See’s Candy, Inc.’

Emphasis Added highlights a piece about the Department of Energy’s funding of an Artificial Life project.

It’s time for another Salon Blogs Death Watch. Teacher Stories was quite the Salon phenomenon. Although it spanned two months, it only posted on two days. This journal, described as An Experiment with a Multi-Author Blog, manage to touch enough hearts to score 735 hits. From the final post, on August 7 2002: “As a young person suffering with a progressive terminal disease, he showed…”

What’s that? Somebody brought beer?

Goodnight.

Fri, 22 Nov 2002 00:50:43 GMT

Your Salon Blog Tour of Quality

My rant. It’s someone new almost every day now, hyping themselves big time. And I haven’t talked about it directly – oblique is more my style – but I’ve got to say this once and try to wise a couple of you up. (I don’t want to write about this again, except obliquely. The point of this column is to try to point out what is excellent, interesting, or just fun at Salon Blogs.)

It’s probably been going on this way since the beginning of Salon Blogs, and I just never noticed it until I started to take this column seriously. The signs are certainly there: long dead blogs like Looking Glass (I’m number 50!) that didn’t stay around long enough to develop a following, and yet posted big numbers.

Or maybe, these logs generated enough ill feeling through their fat fingering that they lost the potential to ever build a following here.

Hey Goldfinger, I’m talking to you. You don’t really think that anyone believes for a moment that more people wanted to read your recycled college routines more than they wanted to hear what Kat had to say today, do you? Ya know, she has real readers, people who check her out everyday. And she’s worked for it. They don’t show up because She’s Actual Size is ranked #11, they show up because they like what she has to say and the way she says it. Think about it.

Moving right along… Everything That Sucks has a gross new post - ‘Idiots, They are All Idiots’.

Hmm. Baby blog Blife has caught my attention with the third post. Don’t know if this is a good or bad thing Lady Joy. You may be appealing to my inner voyeur.

Driver 8 has a couple of interesting new pieces: One on ‘polite’ computer viruses, and one on the fortunes of Salon. FarrFeed also reports on Salon financials.

The Cowgirl may have something good going on. At any reason, it will be interesting to read what she says about it.

FIONA has a spirited diatribe which ranges from the War on Terror to regime change at home and abroad.

Hate Central does a good four-sided opinion piece handicapping the Time Man of the Year Award.

Goodnight.

Wed, 20 Nov 2002 01:07:05 GMT

Your Salon Blog Tour of Quality

It’s like so, so, oh, what’s the phrase for what I need to say? Agh nugirn ngkyew, afnwa tnirnada bies, no? Eerie.

To answer this week’s most popular question, no, you cannot nominate candidates for the Salon Blog Death Watch. I know, it’s tempting, but the cardinal rule is that they have to have deserted their blogs. If they’re still writing, they may arise once again. Believe me, though, as surely as I stand here - more candidates are coming soon. Mmmm, The Adorable Roxi Morokco.

Your time will come one day as well. One morning you shall awaken and say unto yourself, “Why the hell am I doing this?” And you will leave.

You may write again, but not here. You will find yourself visiting, day after day. Perhaps many times a day. Do they miss me, you’ll wonder, and today you smile because your link has been reddened. They do miss me, they do. And then you open your referral log to find nothing but blind Google searches. You will mournfully click on your own dead link. This was me. Eventually, you will go.

Driver 8 turns his attention to the cinema, with a less than flattering look at ‘Blood Beach’. Let’s listen in. “This movie isn't so special: people start disappearing around the beach, their bodies turn up mutilated, cops investigate and find an underground monster, cops lure monster to a trap and blow it up.” What? That’s not special enough? There’s just no pleasing some folks.

Pssst. Paul Hinrichs reads Boy’s Life.

No way! Different Stings is against the Ten Commandments! Emphasis Added continues down this blasphemous road, going so far as to take the name of Bill O’Reilly in vain.

Robert’s Virtual Soapbox tells me pretty much everything I have to know about the new Harry Potter movie. I need read no further.

The Barbaric Yawp has a longish autobiographical piece detailing how he got where he is today, which is, uh here, in Salon Blogs… Attention Fulton County Chamber of Commerce. Do not read this article. There is nothing of interest for you here.

Hey, Access Hollywood is on in the background, and I just saw Michael Jackson almost drop a baby off a fifth floor balcony. Four times…

Goodnight.

Tue, 19 Nov 2002 02:41:52 GMT

Your Salon Blog Tour of Quality

Why is it that I rarely mention Maxine? I’m such a coward sometimes. I don’t think that anyone really cared that much about our little tryst. No one even noticed. Her writing is some of the best I’ve ever had, anyway you look at it, and I stop by every time I see a new update, even if it’s only a spelling correction. And I guess, to be quite honest, that I feel the same way for Hugh. Oh, I try and conceal my love for his blog, but sometimes it just slips out… I just need to be entertained. What’s that they used to sing about my one and only true living fetish object? MTM… “You can turn the world on with your smile…” I’m so confused.

But enough about me.

And So It Goes has some interesting material on the marketing of Christmas in Japan. Warning: Contains George Michael Reference. On a related note, Contemplative Muse is already getting grumpy for the holidays.

Gentleman George Mahood. Three posts now, and I’ve gotta say I’m amoozed by him. Check this gentleman out.

Hate Central is starting to remind me of DJ Shadow. I don’t know why…

Ken Dow gets all paranoid about flu shots.

The Devil’s Excrement is still a pretty disgusting title for a blog.

Searching for the next hit: The Raven is back from a brief hiatus, with a picture of FIFTY NAKED WOMEN.

Goodnight.

Sun, 17 Nov 2002 00:34:52 GMT

Your Salon Blog Tour of Quality

Gonna be a mighty short tour tonight, little buddies. Just finished putting the latest edition of Virtual Occoquan to bed. It’s the best one yet, I must say.

Briefly…

Dreaming of China writes about the end of the left in American politics.

Semi Truths, long considered an abandoned blog, returns with a vengeance and sends Open Letters to damn near everybody.

Gnosis has a picture of a dog.

Damn. I had to stop and pay closer attention than I wanted to Brand New Baby Log Gentleman George Mahood. Brief impression: I was entertained.

I must be giddy from the cathode rays. Life on Earth also greatly amused me, with Giles admission of his affair with himself.

Short, sweet, and gone.

Goodnight.

Sat, 16 Nov 2002 01:02:51 GMT

Your Salon Blog Tour of Quality

My, my, what a somber little group of bloggers we are today. I don’t think I can pull a single laugh from the lot of you.

the rabbit’s blog takes Salon to task for sloppy reporting on microchip related pollution, and comes up with some good arguments of his own.

‘Bush to outsource half of federal government to Feline contractors’. Pesky the Rat focuses a cagey eye on current and potential moves by half-cat Bush administration.

In ‘Fighting the Unfightable’, John Farr seems to have fallen into an overwhelming state of ennui…

Fried Green al-Qaedas had what was probably the most boring day of their brief existence. Except for the HootersMammy! bit. That was pretty funny…

Secular Blasphemy looks at the decline of linear thought as portended by the use of Instant Messaging.

Robert’s Virtual Soapbox takes a cautious but hopeful look at new House minority leader Nancy Pelosi.

Winner of the Day: Tehran – Washington, DC 1970-1973 teen girl blog, which received a bucket load of legitimate traffic from hoder.com, a site composed with those squiggly foreign letters. Congratulations ladies.

Come on people, cheer up, it’s Friday.

Goodnight.