Fried Green al-Qaedas

.....just close your eyes and think about how many blades you wish to have and 'The Mind Reader' obeys. On most mornings, when a good but ordinary shave will do, think six blades, and you will get the finest six-bladed shave that money can buy. But say it's the day of your big job interview and you want a really close shave, just close your eyes - 150 blades - and it will be so. The first blade shouts at your whiskers to get their attention, the second and third blades get into a gun fight while the fourth blade dives through a storefront window. That's all a distraction to allow the fifth blade to cut into a whisker. As it's cutting, it is also lifting. To pass the time, blades 6 thru 48 perform a battle scene from 'Full Metal Jacket' and blade 49 organizes a slumber party. Blades 50-65 run home to get their pillows and sleeping bags, while in the confusion blade 66 sneaks up on the backside of the whisker. Blade 5 continues to cut and lift, lifting from your face sections of whisker that normally would not appear until a week from Tuesday. #66 attaches block and tackle to the whisker below the cut, pulling it further still and blade 67 dives for the football. He grabs it, does a quick roll to his feet and is untouched as he scampers into the endzone. In the stands blades 68-112 cheer wildly, it's pandemonium. Blade 5 has finished his cut just as blade 113 relieves him below the block and tackle. 5 heads for the showers. Blades 114-132 build a bonfire and sing songs about evil bearded men and the joys of a well cut whisker. As if inspired, #113 finishes the second cut with a flourish and before the last pitiful nub of the whisker can snap back into moist safety, blades 133-141 verbally assault him. "You suck" "Don't ever come back" and the like. #5 returns in his street clothes and along with 66 and 113, are gathered up and paraded through the city. Small blade children are waving flags and chasing after candy. The city council 142-149 and the mayor, #150, declare a holiday and everyone rejoices, including you. We know you're happy with your shave because we're 'The Mind Reader'. Good luck with that interview Mr. Smooth.