I don't know why no-one's thought of this before
I was reading Scaryduck, who won a thousand pictures of the Queen from the Guardian for being the best blog in all of the Four Kingdoms. He was telling me (and other people who were reading him) about the time when he was 10, and he got the brilliant idea of lighting a fire and carrying it around with him in a Coke bottle. A major conflagration then occurred.
It reminded me of my of the numerous occasions when I said to myself, as I invented a genius new labour saving method, 'I don't know why no-one's thought of this before.'
Unfailingly, I would later find out why.
Like the time I was cleaning the bathroom and had started on the bath's plughole. Living with longhaired females, this was filled with a matted slimy goo. Which I was reluctantly scrabbling at. Then I realised, I could just Hoover it out.
One Nilfisking later, and the plug was cleared, with no unpleasant gunk-handling required. I don't know why no-one's thought of this before, I said to myself.
When my mother turned on the machine a few days later and a cloud of green spores blew out of the top, from the half a pint of mouldy water I'd sucked up, I found out.
2:29:16 PM
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