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Tuesday, December 17, 2002

Catch These Guys NOW, Before They Make It Bigtime They are: (1) The guy ostensibly pinching his nose, probably shielding his face. If he were a dwarf, they would call him Sneezy. Doesn't he resemble Ken Lay a bit? Do you think he might be an American Stooge? (2) "Who is that guy pinching his nose? I've never seen him before," the guy with his arms crossed seems to be thinking. His body language says it all, "Who was supposed to bring the doughnuts?" (3) The guy scratching his balls with both hands. His expression shows he's thoroughly enjoying it and doesn't care who knows. (4) Orson Welles, hermetically-sealed in his role of Klingsor in Where Is Parsifal to fulfill his last request. (5) The guy who is really a woman, but had to put on a fake beard or they wouldn't let her in. The dead giveaway, besides the glances both she and guy #3 are giving the dead Welles for the foul smells, is the clasp. Guys in Iraq rarely hold purses, but when they do it's with one hand. Silly! (6) The guy who was too skinny to make it as a Saddam stand-in. (7) William J. Bennett, trying hard not to look at Guy #1, and scratching his balls with only one hand. Next year, one of these guys will rule Iraq. The other 6, okay 4,  will probably be dead which is as close as they will ever come to Democracy because, face it, guys, this is the Middle East. In 10 years, the name of the winning contestant, probably the guy scratching his balls with both hands, will be the new syllibant curse on the lips of a new US President. Just like Saddam, The Taliban, Osama bin Laden and countless other former US allies are now. Then we will go to war again to "get" the guy scratching his balls with both hands. That is called "Foreign Policy" and the place is called the "Middle East".  Can you find it on the map with both hands? 5:13:50 PM    comment []

Straight talk.   With his 5th apology (or is it the 6th?), the breath-taking spectacle of Trent Lott's descent has degenerated from simple groveling to public self-mutilation. In the politcal bordello, "heartfelt" is the response you're hoping to evoke with this schtick.   Still, even after the police raid, John McCain's shirt is unruffled, his belt fastened, and his fly zipped securely. He never spoke at Bob Jones University and paid the price for it. So when I read the following sidebar in today's NYT, "heartfelt" is a word that came to mind, after a little thought: Likely new chairman of Commerce Committee Said yesterday that a conference was necessary to make clear "that the G.O.P. remains the party of Lincoln both in word and in deed." (Lott’s Colleagues On Lott) My first response was to try and dig up some dirt on Lincoln. I've heard rumors of quotes he made about belonging to a superior race and thought a juxtaposition was in order. However, cynical as I tried to be, I couldn't help but marvel at the wisdom of Lincoln as I pored through Bartlett's. I considered the following three quotes, but each rung true by another reading. If this is what McCain means, more power to him. However, many who say "Yay" to Lincoln now might be more reptilian in their cynicism. On principle I dislike an oath which requires a man to swear he has not done wrong. It rejects the Christian principle of forgiveness on terms of repentance. I think it is enough if the man does no wrong hereafter -         Abraham Lincoln I retract nothing heretofore said as to slavery. I repeat the declaration made a year ago, that “while I remain in my present position I shall not attempt to retract or modify the emancipation proclamation, nor shall I return to slavery any person who is free by the terms of that proclamation, or by any of the Acts of Congress.” If the people should, by whatever mode or means, make it an Executive duty to re-enslave such persons, another, and not I, must be their instrument to perform it. -         Abraham Lincoln I go for all sharing the privilege of the government, who assist in bearing its burthens. -         Abraham Lincoln 5:59:41 AM    comment []