 The Loyal Opposition
After the regime change, one of these gentlemen will be the new leader of the Free World, which is becoming increasingly smaller these days.
(1) This guy locked his hands so he wouldn't get caught scratching his balls on camera. Is that egg on his face? Probably not, he's the guy who always steps in front of your PowerPoint presentation and just stands there with a big grin. He thinks everybody is laughing because he's funny, never realizing there's a turkey projected on his face.
(2) The guy from Vermont who has just had a successful hemmorhoidectomy. That's reason enough to smile and keep your arms stiffly at your sides so you're not tempted to do any scratching at all. The sad thing is that he thinks guy #1 is really funny. He's the governor of Vermont, but who cares? Quick now...name a city in Vermont, somebody famous from there, or anything important that ever came from Vermont.
(3) Nobody wants to look at Bob anymore. His last face-lift was a total failure and now nobody laughs when a turkey gets projected on his face - because, lost in the distorted wrinkles and fake tan, it looks more like a pterodactyl and that's just sad. Worse, like guy #1 and guy #2, he's looking to his right and grinning. What's over there? Might it be a big bag of money?
(4) The guy who has discovered that if you talk real slow the press will assume you're profound, especially if you're Jewish, inclined to talk fast and stereotypically inclined to use words like gribbenes and verklempt. His moral authority has been enhanced ever since, after much introspection and deliberation, he issued a stern rebuke to a President who got an illicit blowjob in the oval office. The press was quite impressed by the clarity of thinking that accompanied that verbal reprimand and none doubted that the quality of his language rose to the level of the Presidential offense. He's currently in consultation with Guy #2 about what he calls that operation. Wonder if Bill Frist can give him the skinny?
(5) The black man everyone means when they say "some of my best friends." He's had a remarkable career rebirth ever since the news of Jesse's love child hit the airwaves. That's impressive, but face it, nobody wants black people as political leaders anymore, they're out-of-date, passé, so he's just there to maintain the illusion that some leftover 60s pothead might vote for him and to be a convenient victim in the right-wing radio coliseum. Suppose you are watching a bad World War II movie on late night cable TV. There are 6 GIs storming a Nazi encampment and one of them is black. Who do you think will be the first one to get it?
(6) The New Guy. He came out with some blank 8 1/2" by 11" paper thinking that would make him look academic but got completely upstaged by Guy #5 who, from years of experience, has learned to come out with really big pieces of blank paper. It's hard to see him because he doesn't know that you have to walk into the spotlight until you are completely blinded by it while being careful it isn't projecting a turkey on your face. Politics is rough business. It's not just a matter of selling out to enough lobbyists to fund you or coming up with a catchy sound bite that makes people think it the moment they recognize your face on the boob tube. There's more. There really is. There's....uh, let me think...
I had a really deep thought, kinda like the stuff Guy #4 would say on Sunday Morning television when asked to comment on the moral complexity of blowjobs. It just slipped my mind right now.
By 2008, only amendments 2 and 9 of our Consitutional Bill of Rights will remain uncompromised. Most of the legal rights in the universe of common folk that have been progressively expanding since the days of Oliver Wendell Holmes will be totally eroded by a well-funded juggernaut of corporate greed. Available employment and health care will be more similar to what we now call "third-world" than what we used to call The American Dream.
Although 3,000 Americans died in one horrific moment in September, 2001, over a million have died in 227 years of US history fighting for the basic freedoms that got us here. To give them up out of fear is the most grossly unpatriotic act imaginable, a travesty. The last thing we need right now is "Loyal" Opposition.
4:37:35 AM 
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A shot of the pressure-cooked beans taken at 4:35pm, less than an hour after they started cooking. The beans are fully-cooked and the "
A striking arrangement of daffodils in a glass vase filled with lemons, taken at The Express Bar of the JW Marriott, Seoul, Korea. A few months ago, the East End Oyster Bar in Chapel Hill had a large jar filled with lemons and vodka, but no daffodils. After the vodka soaked up the vitrus flavor, they made martinis with it - and maybe lemonade too.
The marmalades sing sweet and low as the pannekoeken cools on the ladybug trivet.
