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United States, North Carolina, Carrboro, English, Paul, Male, 56-60, All Music, All Food.

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Wednesday, March 05, 2003

Jerky Update: It's long gone. Half went to work on Monday, the other half to The Armadillo that evening. I doubled the garam masala from the recipe I posted and let the bottom fall out of the tabasco bottle. Spice and fire. I loosened the kimono of false modesty and agreed with the general opinion that it was the "best ever." BTW, "goat jerky" only gets 89 hits. The store with the Kashmiri Mix, Zafran, also has frozen goat meat. Hmmmmm... Oh, and one of the recipients of a handful of beef jerky at The Armadillo asked me if I'd like some venison. The sounds of hunting, a memory of distant youth (along with the currentmath of dealing with totally terrified domestic animals, freaked at gunshots), disturb me as much as they do Leah and Rayne, but an equally terrifying sound is that of a failed deer-crossing on I-40. The natural predators of these critters, wolves and panthers, have been destroyed to "protect people." Now Bambi's babes scavenge unchallenged in unculled herds and are an even greater statistical threat to humans who are just driving to work. The only logical complaint, at this point, is that hunting violates natural selection since the predators cull the weak and hunters prize the strong. Venison is a nearly perfect meat, low in fat and rich in flavor - forget that "gamey" bullshit, these are free range animals, not something from a factory farm. No wonder kings wanted to claim all of them for their personal consumption. I cannot hunt. My eyesight and lack of killer instinct would make an attempt a joke, but venison is still tasty. Once you accept a carnivorous nature, living with contradictions becomes second nature. 5:53:05 PM    comment []

War Protesters Refuse To Throw In The Towel It was anticlimactic. The disapponted crowds of well-wishers quickly dispersed when only 17 protesters showed up wearing a chic ensemble of towels, underwear, duct tape and sheets. However, the police in full riot gear, ready to bust anyone engaging in indecent exposure, were not disappointed when they apprehended an entire chapter of the KKK huddling naked in the nearby woods. The Klansmen were later released on their own recognizance and escorted to Linens 'N' Things to replenish their wardrobe after a thorough search yielded no evidence. Under state law, the charge of indecent exposure can be lodged if a person exposes his or her private parts, defined as genitalia, to a member of the opposite sex. "Them peacenik Saddam-lovin' bastids stole our sheets," complained Larry "Spike" Hancheck, nursing a bruise on his neck. gut securely draped over arguably incriminating evidence. "What kinda country is it when these godless commies don't even respect private property?" John "Granfalloon" Ashcrypt was more philosophical. "The store gave us a 20% discount on the sheets and the old ones needed washing anyway. Them peacenik Saddam-lovin' bastids can't throw a decent punch and we gave 'em our old sheets out of pure pity." 4:53:21 PM    comment []

Today's kitchen tip: When the recipe calls for chicken, always use boneless, skinnless chicken. They're easier to catch. 8:15:30 AM    comment []

Since posting the pork jerky musings, I've found two sites that sell it just like that, Soo Singapore Jerky and Formosa Brand. Rock Creek sells it too ($39.80 for 4 4-ounce packages - YIKES!), but they don't have a picture. Here's another place selling "sweet pork jerky" : cybersnack.net - "Hawaii's Favorite Local Snacks." In all, Google rounds up 543 hits on "pork jerky", compared to about 65,000 for "beef jerky."  That makes it rare, but not undone! Given the eastern flavor of many sites that mention pork jerky, I'm tempted to try either a Chinese or Hawaiian style marinade. Since I found no recipes (I quit looking after one link brought up a blush of porn windows), I'm open to suggestions. 5:28:44 AM    comment []

You just never see pork jerky. The home cook's point of reference is the 152 degree (F) mark for pork to be "safe", free of trichinae. But they can be destroyed at a much lower temperature, such as 122 degrees, if it is held there for 9.5 hours. Maybe dried pork just tastes bad? That can be fixed. Something to think about. Below is a table from our own USDA, specifically regarding trichinae destruction. The document says  CITE: 9CFR318.10, but just go here if you want to read it. As usual, as with almost all the technical information I get about sausage making, the real reference is Leni Poli's Resource page. The upshot is that trichinaphobia is no excuse for a dearth of pork jerky: -------------------------------------------------------            Minimum internal temperature --------------------------------------------------                             Degrees        Minimum time      Degrees Fahrenheit     centigrade -------------------------------------------------------- 120..........................       49.0   21 hours. 122..........................       50.0   9.5 hours. 124..........................       51.1   4.5 hours. 126..........................       52.2   2 hours. 128..........................       53.4   1 hour. 130..........................       54.5   30 minutes. 132..........................       55.6   15 minutes. 134..........................       56.7   6 minutes. 136..........................       57.8   3 minutes. 138..........................       58.9   2 minutes. 140..........................       60.0   1 minute. 142..........................       61.1   1 minute. 144..........................       62.2   Instant. --------------------------------------------------------- 5:00:49 AM    comment []