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United States, North Carolina, Carrboro, English, Paul, Male, 56-60, All Music, All Food.

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Saturday, August 16, 2003

Watching Keeping Time: New Music From America's Roots 1 on Sundance and hearing Andy Statman play the clarinet, it struck me like a seldge hammer right in the crotch - when Gershwin wrote that opening clarinet theme for Rhapsody In Blue he wasn't channeling schmaltzy jazz, he was channeling good klezmer! 8:52:27 PM    comment []

A couple of loaves made with extra sharp Wisconsin cheddar, about 8 ounces of it. Coated with some pretzel salt to make your lips smack with every bite. 8:03:41 PM    comment []

“They” still haven’t figured out the root cause of Thursday’s blackout, but I’m inclined to blame a squirrel. It’s intuition. One of the little bastards crawled into a transformer looking for food. With any luck, it was burnt to a cinder in milliseconds, but it set into motion a chaotic wave that any butterfly would envy.   The little bastards.   I miss my cardinals. My last “squirrel-resistant” feeder turned out to be truly cardinal-proof, so today I headed out to Lowe’s in search of another feeder. My finch feeder had given up the ghost and needed replacing as well. I don’t know how the squirrels busted the bottom out of the old one, but in my heart I know they are responsible.   I had a nice conversation with a gentleman near the feeder section of Lowe’s who shared my irrational hatred of the furry rats. He did not recommend the feeder that I eventually purchased, one that uses the weight of the squirrel to slide down a door over the feeding holes. He said a lady bought one a couple of weekends ago and brought it back just days later, completely destroyed by the evil squirrels. God how I hate those little bastards! He hated them too. They have parasites this year and you can’t even use them for Brunswick stew. When you’re lucky enough to run one over, the buzzards won’t even eat them. Anyway, maybe the cardinals will return now that there is another feeder out there.   The squirrels don’t care for the hummingbird feeder. This morning, for the first time, I heard a hummingbird song, more like a little chatter, as he lunched out on some sugar water. It looks like it’s time to refill that feeder. 2 cups water, ½ cup sugar, a few drops of red food coloring, and lots of Vicks Vaporub on the hanging wire to keep away the ants. Ants are the hummingbird’s squirrels. 11:33:38 AM    comment []

SOS   Where did all these damn flies come from?   A week ago, I smelled “something amiss” in the fridge and threw a lot of stuff out. The smell in the fridge went away. Maybe I didn’t take the trash out soon enough. Maybe they just came in, so much water in Carolina, so many bugs this year.   Liz called a bit ago. She said she thought I might be up (that was at 2am). I was, but I couldn’t converse properly because I was fixated on the missing Windex.   I don’t know why, but Windex kills flies. It might be the ammonia. It doesn’t kill ‘em right away, they fly in confused circles, eventually land, and walk in increasingly smaller circles until they shed their mortal coils in a tortured manner befitting such a useless critter. With a fine spray, you can pick them out of the air, like a shotgun blast. When they land, you can nail ‘em up close and personal with the choke adjusted for a tighter pattern. Either way, sooner or later, they die. The Windex doesn’t put poison in the air that might affect the kitties or me and has the added benefit of collateral cleaning.   When Liz called, There were a couple annoying flies but the Windex was nowhere to be found. I looked on the counters, both bathrooms (the flies gravitate towards lights and the vanity lights in the bathrooms are peculiarly fascinating to them). In the cupboards, under the sink. Liz started making Dr. Seuss rhymes about my quest. The flies kept circling. I gave up.   Then I started making some biscuits and chipped beef gravy. The milk came from the fridge. So did the can of biscuits, but I could not see.   In the fridge. It hit me as an inspiration. The Windex must be in a common, but hidden place. Not the cabinets, not under the sink. It was in the fridge. Who knows why I put it there. But now it is found and the damn flies are gonna die. 3:40:30 AM    comment []