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Saturday, September 20, 2003

Ashcroft Channels Jeff Foxworthy!   "Allow me to take a moment to clarify who should, and who should not, be worried about these tools in the hands of law enforcement. If you are spending a lot of time surveilling <sic> nuclear power plants with your al Qaeda pals, you might be a target of the Patriot Act. If your idea of a vacation is two weeks in a terrorist training camp, you might be a target of the Patriot Act. If you have cave-side dinners with a certain terrorist thug named bin Laden . . . if you enjoy swapping recipes for chemical weapons from your 'Joy of Jihad' cookbook . . . you might be a target of the Patriot Act."   (Just pass the snake (don't call it a "bong"!), do your most earnest Pat Boone imitation, and act undetermined whenever there’s a calico cat around – and no one will ever doubt your patriotism!) 5:57:25 PM    comment []

Scare tactics Buckeyes beat Bowling Green in standard, nail-biting fashion Posted: Saturday September 20, 2003 4:02PM; Updated: Saturday September 20, 2003 4:02PM COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) -- Ohio State survived another scare. For the 10th time in the last 15 games, the No. 5 Buckeyes won a game decided by a touchdown or less, holding off a late Bowling Green charge in a 24-17 victory Saturday. Will Allen intercepted Josh Harris' pass on the final play as the defending national champion Buckeyes (4-0) ran their winning streak to 18 games. Scare tactics, hell – this team is being controlled by Osama bin Laden and he’s trying to kill off Buckeye fans with heart attacks! It doesn’t matter who they play, every game comes down to a gut-wrenching finish on the last play. Sometimes, friends of mine are fans of the teams they play and I’m getting tired of telling them they deserved to win. You don’t so much take pride in these wins, you get apologetic about them. That may be polite, but it's not football. I want to brag, belch, and fart - just be the stereotypical Belushi reincarnation of a crass Ohio State fan. I don't want to say "we shoulda put 'em away in the second quarter" or "I don't know how we let them back in the game" or just plain shake my head. I wanna be an asshole again! 5:07:00 PM    comment []

These Rock Cornish hens have been "shot up" with a mixture of lemon juice and olive oil. They'll be smoke-cooked tomorrow. 4:26:01 PM    comment []

I had to go with the Food Network recipe for pickled mushrooms (below). It calls for wild mushrooms, but I'm using button mushrooms from the Food Lion (it does get wild there at times, but the mushrooms practice restraint). Right away, I realized that 4 cups of water was not adequate brine for 2 pounds of mushrooms, so I doubled that and the kosher salt. I'm also brining them in a vacuum cannister to cur down the time. When the vacuum was applied, the submerged mushrooms bubbled quite a bit, but the "floaters" didn't sink - I'll be keeping an eye on those and mix things up as necessary.. I chose cold brining over boiling (as done in other recipes) so as not to cook the mushrooms. The other variation: habaneros seemed like more fun than jalapenos. The ones I bought are green, so the colors with match... Pickled Mushrooms Recipe courtesy Michael Symon    Recipe Summary Prep Time: 10 minutes Cook Time: 10 minutes   Inactive Prep Time: 8 minutes Yield: 6 servings   1/4 cup salt 4 cups water 2 pounds assorted wild mushrooms, stemmed 4 cups white wine vinegar 1 tablespoon toasted coriander 2 jalapenos 2 fresh bay leaves 1 tablespoon toasted mustard seed   Mix the salt and water, and pour brine over mushrooms. Let mushrooms sit in the refrigerator, covered for 24 hours. Remove mushrooms from brine, rinse, and then lay them out on paper towels to dry. In a saucepan, mix the vinegar with the remaining ingredients and bring to a boil. Place mushrooms in sterilized jar and cover with hot liquid. The mushrooms will be ready to eat in 1 week and will hold in cool place for up to 1 year. These are great for salads or as a garnish for meat dishes. Episode#: MP1B47 Copyright © 2003 Television Food Network, G.P., All Rights Reserved   2:18:43 PM    comment []

Astronomer Predicts Major Earthquake for Japan, Other Experts Express Doubts By Associated Press posted: 03:40 pm ET 15 September 2003   TOKYO (AP) _ A Japanese researcher is causing a stir in Tokyo with a prediction based on his study of radio waves that a major destructive earthquake is highly likely to hit the city this week. Yoshio Kushida, a well-known self-taught astronomer who runs his own observatory just outside Tokyo, published on its Internet site his prediction that a quake with a magnitude of 7 or greater was likely to strike the metropolitan area on Tuesday or Wednesday.     Quake rattles Tokyo   Saturday, 20 September, 2003, 06:21 GMT 07:21 UK An earthquake measuring 5.5 on the Richter scale jolted Tokyo on Saturday, injuring at least seven people. The quake struck at 1255 (0355 GMT), rocking buildings for about 30 seconds, but there were no reports of major structural damage and public transport was not seriously affected.   Hah! He said “Major.” – and he was off by 3 days! 6:51:33 AM    comment []