The Virtual Brooklyn craziness is over! The people I got to work with there were fantastic and when I got back to work I got 100% cooperation to pile full resources into a solution. I could probably go into some detail because nobody involved reads this blog, but won’t.
The flight back was uneventful except for the extra captain (who sat in the row where he’d be the designated emergency door guy in case we crashed) who threatened to throw the lady sitting beside me off the plane if she didn’t stop complaining about the delay. It started in the terminal where I started cringing, about 10 minutes after the normal boarding time, when the announcement came that boarding was delayed for “routine maintenance.” Every time I’ve heard that announcement before, they end up canceling the flight. I wondered where I would end up this time…Detroit?...Atlanta? Eventually you do get home, but many, many hours late. This time was the exception. We boarded, but about 30 minutes late. In the meantime, passengers for another American Eagle flight from LaGuardia to RDU, scheduled for an hour later, moved into the boarding area. Yep, same gate too. After we got on the plane the number of occupied seats did not match the number of tickets. More delays in the plane while passengers in supposedly unoccupied seats had there boarding passes checked. The people who got on from the later flight were okay, but one guy has lost his boarding pass between check-in and “planing.” As the delays snowballed, the lady beside me (she’d earlier asked me how I liked The Piano Tuner, my book for this flight, so she wasn’t crude) asked the in transit captain why they hadn’t settled this matter at check-in. He ignored her at first but, when she persisted, he lashed out.
“Look. This is a security matter and security is always our first priority.”
Sound familiar? Hiding incompetence behind a booming security motto?
She persisted. “Look – I have the authority to have you removed from this plane and I won’t hesitate to do it.”
Touchy, touchy, little Commander! What’s the problem? – underwear creeping?
She quieted down, or rather shut up – she hadn’t been that bothersome, IMO – just complaining – but only after telling him that she was entitled to voice her opinions. I suppose he didn’t want to be bothered on this flight, but he was wearing his uniform, the same one that gave him the authority to eject her at 30,000 feet if he fancied, but he should have also realized the “flight suit” (hehehe) also made him an airline representative for complaints. He could have as easily just listened; maybe even agreed and said he’d review boarding policy.
I hope no one from the airline industry reads this, it will guarantee me a body cavity search next time I fly.
Speaking of which, I heard the funniest thing at LaGuardia security screening. As the lines began to extend, he got on the PA system and announced, “There’s only one female in line one. If you’re female and you beep, you’re going to wait.”
5:24:06 AM 
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