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United States, North Carolina, Carrboro, English, Paul, Male, 56-60, All Music, All Food.

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Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Humpty-Dumpty   It would be extremely cold to say that Bush got himself into this Iraq mess all by himself and that I don’t think he has the brains to get out of it by himself, so I’m chillin’ it a bit. During the election, when I expressed doubts about this man’s abilities, Republican friends would reassure me that “he surrounds himself with good people.” Normally, that sort of endorsement would pass as damning with faint praise, but I let it pass with a chuckle.   As 2001 began to get worse, I would mentally paraphrase it into “They have surrounded him with able people,” and soon that atrophied into “He has been surrounded by competent people,” but I never dared say a word because it became “unpatriotic” to suggest that he had anything less than superhuman powers.   Though I disagree with his ideology, I have been rooting for him mainly because I am an American and he is our President and I know that if he fails we all lose. Now it seems even all those competent people haven’t got a clue what to do in Iraq because it didn’t go according to their screenplay. No Plan B. This is an ugly situation. We need a true leader to take charge as only a President can - and not just recite aphorism-laden speeches against corny backdrops. I hope to hell he reaches down and finds something. 9:31:13 PM    comment []

I’ve never learned the Military Alphabet Code, but I’ve known several lifers who take delight in using the proper word for the letters they want to communicate over the phone. But I don’t like military lingo, so I’ve constructed a Food Alphabet Code. There aren’t many foods that begin with “U” – or “X” either – so I had to stretch those a bit with “Udon” and worse, “Xanthan” which really isn’t a food but an emulsifier and stabilizer, but it’s made from corn sugar, just like white lightning, so it’s good enough. If your license is DNH-3370, you can now say “Dijon Noodle Ham” instead of “Delta November Hotel.” Doesn’t that sound more appetizing? 7:55:54 PM    comment []

Military Food A Alpha Apple B Bravo Bacon C Charlie Chocolate D Delta Dijon E Echo Espresso F Foxtrot Feta G Golf Garlic H Hotel Ham I India Ice Cream J Juliet Jelly K Kilo Kimchee L Lima Lard M Mike Melon N November Noodle O Oscar Olive P Papa Paprika Q Quebec Quiche R Romeo Ricotta S Sierra Saffron T Tango Tabasco U Uniform Udon V Victor Vanilla W Whiskey Walnut X X-ray Xanthan Y Yankee Yeast Z Zulu Zucchini       7:45:21 PM    comment []

Surrender The Moral Lowground   The voice of reason does not need to scream. From Galileo onward, truth has prevailed despite attempts by megalomaniacs to contain it. Lies build a house of cards that will collapse from a single puff of air, no matter how much the truth is told to “shut up!” In that light, it is strategically stupid to emulate the very tactics that obscure clear thinking and only heighten the schism that agenda-mongers exploit. In Hold The Vitriol, Nicholas D. Kristof elaborates… Considering the savagery with which the Snarling Right excoriated President Clinton as a "sociopath," blocked judicial appointments, undermined U.S. military operations from Kosovo to Iraq, hounded Vincent Foster and then accused the Clintons of murdering him, it is utterly hypocritical for conservatives to complain about liberal incivility. But they're right. 2:37:33 AM    comment []

Gratuitous Flourish   Though Art Carney described himself as a loner and a worrier, not at all like Ed Norton, those little extra bits Norton did, like perpetuating the simple act of signing a petition with wrist flourishes, came from the mind of a man who knew too much was not enough. That extra shake, the one that drove Ralphie-boy to bellow out  “Norton!” in frustration and disbelief, that was the essence of Carney.   Since most of the early Honeymooners was done live and Gleason had the reputation as a perfectionist, there was probably a bit of reality TV as this bit developed. It’s Gleason’s show, there’s two minutes to play out the skit before the next commercial, and suddenly it all bogs down as Carney takes the stage direction “Norton Answers Telephone” and runs with it, approaching the phone as a caped matador would a bull, hypnotizing it with fluid gestures, finally picking it up – but not to speak, not yet, first the phone must be stroked along the forearm with movements simultaneously evoking a violinist applying rosin to the bow and a diner slathering butter on a slice of bread. Gleason the comedian knew it was funny and let it go on until Gleason the director began to nervously eye the clock, ready to scream “cut!” but channeled it all into “NORTON!” instead.   The Honeymooners reruns became tragically unhip in the cool 60s, but like Sergeant Pepper’s band have been going in and out of style ever since. Like Norton, they’ll probably keep doing that as well.   If you want to remember Art Carney right, take the time today to “put a little extra” into the simple acts you normally do without even thinking. Garnish simplicity with excess. 1:57:20 AM    comment []