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Friday, November 14, 2003

Nicholas Van Hoffman is getting’ bitchy again… In what may be a high-water mark in complacent American self-praise, David Ignatius in The Washington Post recently told the world: "The reality is that this may be the most idealistic war fought in modern times." The solipsism, the immodesty of the statement is irritating in and of itself—but, on top of that, it’s so sloppy. What the hell is an idealistic war? Can he possibly mean one fought, on one side at least, by people who sought to gain nothing by a victorious outcome? Show me one. If you can, explain to me why people would want to give their lives in a war for which neither they, nor their families nor country, stood to gain. Next comes the prepositional phrase "in modern times." What are we to make of that? Are we to suppose that in ancient times, which begin at some unstated date, idealistic wars were often fought? 9:27:22 PM    comment []

First there was WANTED! DEAD OR ALIVE!   Then along came MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!   Now see the final installment of the trilogy! WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The White House said Friday that U.S. troops would remain in Iraq until Saddam Hussein is killed or captured. Okay, so the title needs to be snappier, we’re working on it, but you get the idea. It’s coming to a theater near you, just in time for the holidays! Rated R for Extreme Violence, but parents shouldn't worry about that until the video game is released.  9:22:37 PM    comment []

Sister Ruth has promised to send me some LexisNexis research about Volkswagen sausages. What? Not having access to the Cadillac of search engines, I settled for the VolksSuche, Google, because my curiosity was piqued. Here’s what I found:   VW Leads Industry in Sausage Output Volkswagen AG made 515,000 cars last year at its massive headquarters plant in Wolfsburg, Germany. But it produced many more sausages at the historic factory, The Wall Street Journal reports. "We make 1.5 million currywursts a year," Klaus Labersweiler, head of the car company's meat department, told the WSJ. In fact, Europe's largest auto maker is expanding its sausage production, which occurs in a corner of its assembly plant. Why Volkswagen is in the sausage business dates back to the Wolfsburg plant's origin as a Nazi government project before World War II, the WSJ said. At that time, the plant site didn't have the resources to provide food for the thousands of workers brought in to build the first "people's car," and, during the war, slave laborers shipped to the plant to make military vehicles. So, it made its own, including sausages. When the British army restarted production after the war, the plant continued to provide many basics for its employees, including such German staples as bockwurst, liverwurst, beef sausage and suelze, a meat-and-gelatin loaf that is sliced and served cold, the story said. The plant's top-of-the-line link is Currywurst, a tangy sausage invented right after the war. By the early 1960s, it was a favorite of the "legions of laborers rebuilding Germany, especially in northern cities," the WSJ noted. The currywurst recipe is one of VW's most closely guarded trade secrets, the WSJ said. The sausage is not sold to the public, but outsiders can enjoy a grilled VW currywurst for the equivalent of $2.88 at soccer games at Wolfsburg's VW Arena, at its restaurant at Autostadt, the plant's theme park for car enthusiasts and customers, or Autostadt's Ritz-Carlton hotel, which features VW currywurst on its room-service menu. A private reserve sausage that’s only available if you work for Volkswagen, go to the Wolfsburg soccer arena, or stay at the Autostadt Ritz-Carlton! However, Joe’s Superior Products does sell a curry sausage if you’re in the UK, £2.50 for 12 of ‘em. Kathy’s Bistro, also in the UK, offers a clue to the colonial origins of currywurst: 14. Babotie Another South African favourite. A mild curry flavour developed by the Cape Malay. 'A cold Beer or Red Wine'. 27. Colonial Pork Curry Based on a Goanese recipe, the full flavoured curry sausage was made in this former Portuguese colony, now part of India where pork is still eaten. 'Ice cold beer'. 7:58:28 PM    comment []

Little Mysteries   The pineapple plants came in last weekend. They survived last winter, barely, despite the attempts of two cats to kill them. Nothing intentional, just cat stuff. The pointy leaves make wonderful chin scratchers and then, every so often, you get worked up and take a bite. Sometimes just rubbing again the leaves uproots the plant.   I thought they were dead by the time they went outside last spring. I never expected them to survive in the first place. They were, after all, just tops off store bought pineapples that I plunged into the dirt to see what would happen. They grew.   And more amazingly, they came back to life after spending last winter being tortured by the cats, and they grew some more. As the temperatures began to chill again outside, I wondered how to minimize the cat damage when I brought them indoors. Liz, always the smart one, suggested a plant stand. That sounded like a good idea, but I was concerned about the little critters persistence – more for their sakes than the pineapples. With all the dirt in the terra cotta pot, this thing could fall down and hurt them, maybe seriously. I put them on the plant stand in the living room, but that meant having to move it every time I use the Roomba.   I did that just once and didn’t like the hassle. The plant was on an end table less than a minute before both cats were there doing all the cat things they apparently have to do to pineapple plants. So I moved the pot and stand into the computer room.   Yesterday was the first day there, and I made sure to close the door so the cats couldn’t even get close. Today I forgot to do that.   I get home from work and go to check my email. Server not found. Time-Warner Road Runner on the fritz again. I’m used to it. But when I checked the lights, the little one resembling a target was solidly lit. When the cable modem can’t find a DHCP server, it just blinks, like the right turn signal of some idiot on the interstate. The next light up, with a bunch of parallel lines was out. Hmmm. I checked the router. No lights at all. Power connection is attached. Unplug, replug, still no power. I trace the power cord through the rat’s nest of wires behind the computer. What’s that speaker stand doing on the floor? Trace back, to the power strip. The power strip is turned off. I switch it on and there’s some whirring as the USB devices also powered by it reset, on come the router lights, on come the little light with all the parallel lines on the cable modem. My email comes in, but I’m still curious. How did it get switched off?   I suspected the pineapple-seeking felines immediately, but I wanted to know how. Some amateur forensics soon gave the answer. The speaker from the oddly placed stand was also on the floor by the power strip. It had landed on the power button. It had been on a bookstand several feet away. How did it get dragged way over to the power strip? The pineapples are also barely accessible from the same bookstand. Aha! Cat leans over (I don’t know for sure which one, but Claudette is too petite I think) to pineapple plants, bracing front legs on the pot. Rear legs stay on the bookstand, but have snagged the speaker wires. When the cat business with the pineapple leaves is finished, Twyla is off balance and must jump to the floor. Speaker wire comes along and speaker falls to floor. Twyla panics and runs, speaker wire still snagged. Speaker stand is forcibly dragged from the speaker, which then gets dragged across the power strip’s on/off switch.   The cats did not exhibit any unusual behavior when I got home. By then, the little trauma was long forgotten and it was time for some fresh cat food. 4:38:23 PM    comment []