BREAKING NEWS
Squirrel Back Outside!
“Rocky,” as he’s come to be called during his three-hour visit, left his sanctuary in the bathroom and returned to the area of the laptop, where he had been spotted and photographed earlier. This enabled the border patrol to block his path back to the hole in the wall by securing the bathroom door and the opening beneath it.
At this point, feline members of the household were also secured behind closed doors while the main entrances to the Hinrichs household were opened wide to provide an easy exit for the facile rodent.
The border patrol then used an ordinary broom to flush Rocky out of computer area, out from behind the bookcases, and eventually out of the computer room entirely. The door to the computer room was then secured, trapping him in the living room with two possible exits to the outside world.
Rocky made one valiant last stand on the cats’ window roost (apparently a favorite hideout, since he had also been photographed there earlier). His defiance was short-lived however, as the sure sharp bristles of the patrol’s broom dislodged him effortlessly, forcing him to flee behind the sofa.
The exit at the right side of the sofa was secured, leaving only the left side from which he could only turn to his left, into the center of the living room where he could easily be forced back, or to the right where the wide open door to the balcony awaited.
Rocky’s finely honed survival instincts drove him to the right and he fled onto the balcony. He was last observed leaping into a holly bush.
Rocky is now the prime suspect in yesterday’s mysterious power outage to the household Wireless Broadband Router, though there are no immediate plans to apprehend him.
11:07:23 AM 
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