A solution to health care costs!
This is really simple. I’m amazed no one has thought of it before. It is a faith-based program guaranteed to reduce medical costs:
Phase 1: Make the natural outcomes of diseases too expensive for medical practitioners. This is simple, it won’t take any brains, all it will require is some lawyers. When the natural outcome of a medical problem is death, they sue. This will force medical insurance costs higher, and the costs are passed on to the patients.
Phase 2: To prevent natural outcomes and resultant lawsuits, physicians will be forced to pass all medical judgments on to specialists at much higher costs. It’s the CYA portion of my plan. Once again, the patients pay out the nose. But that’s okay, a $1000 trip to a nasal specialist will reassure them that their nose is okay.
Phase 3: Rising medical costs will force up insurance costs, making health care insurance a luxury.
Phase 4: Pharmaceutical companies, eager to take their share of the burgeoning bonanza, make prices artificially high and take control of a major political party by contributing to campaign coffers and lobbying intensively. Lawyers, who begin to see their share diminishing, take control of another major political party and contribute to their campaign coffers and lobby intensively.
Phase 5: The government, representing the people, greedily eyes the swelling coffers of the other party and publicly declares them to be corrupt. Behind closed doors, however, there is tacit agreement that there’s still a lot of milk in this cash cow, and it mutually behooves them to keep it alive, even if it requires life support. It is therefore imperative, that any real solution to the problem be averted at any cost.
Phase 6: Medical costs are now beyond the reach of nearly anyone and so is health care insurance. There is no government subsidy available because that would require higher taxes. The solution is now complete.
Now let’s examine the hypothetical case of Bonnie Lee, who has worked at a grocery store since her husband passed away in 1992. She doesn’t make a whole lot of money, but has stayed at Jimmy’s Foods because of the benefits. This year, she was told that she would have to pay $150 a month for her health care insurance. Right now, that’s a budget buster.
Bonnie Lee can’t afford a physical even with the insurance. She worries some about that little lump but, knowing she can’t afford to be ill, she puts her faith in The Lord and postpones a trip to the doctor. Several months later, she dies of inoperable cancer.
Cool, isn’t it? It didn’t cost the taxpayers a single cent! Before there was medicine, it was the natural outcome of many diseases. Multiply Bonnie Lee by several million people and you have the final solution to rising health care costs. It is the Lord’s Will: poor people are meant to die of horrible diseases to give us all incentive to become rich. The Lord did not create diseases just to be thwarted by socialistic goody-two-shoes liberals who want to keep inferior people alive and polluting the gene pool. No-sir-ee, Bob, he wanted ‘em dead, by gum. Who are we to disobey The Lord’s will?
5:52:07 PM 
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