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Wednesday, December 10, 2003

Pentagon Rules on Iraq Contracts Draw Criticism Abroad "The United States and coalition countries as well as others that are contributing forces to the efforts there — and the Iraqi people themselves — are the ones that have been helping and sacrificing to build a free and prosperous nation for the Iraqi people," the chief White House spokesman, Scott McClellan, said. "And I think it's totally appropriate for those U.S. taxpayer dollars to go to" coalition supporters. He added that President Bush was "fully supportive of the decision." Well, Scottie Boy, my taxpayer dollars feed you and they also paid for the unwarranted ideological destruction of Iraq by the clueless serial obfuscators who yank your strings. Now that they’ve totally flattened Iraq with my money, don’t I have the right to say that the cost of unflattening should go to the lowest bidder in a true free market auction? - unrestricted to those who opposed Dick Cheney’s fraudulent 401(k) demolition/reconstruction project that’s costing us a billion dollars a week while we pay $2.64/gallon for Kuwaiti petrol over there that “only” costs us $1.60 way over here, with your reluctant mercenaries sitting right atop the biggest oil reserve in the known universe…Or maybe I’ve overlooked something. Please elaborate, if you’re allowed, on that “taxpayer dollars” shtick you’ve obediently recited. It needs some fleshing out. There are some people in countries out there who knew this was a con job from the outset, maybe they're also smart enough to figure out a cheaper way of bailing us out. This ain't exactly a plum ripe for the pickin', if you catch my drift, and this "only those who supported our idiocy from the beginning have earned the right to get their asses blown off over there now" routine doesn't make any sense in the current context. 7:38:02 PM    comment []

To Honor Mr. Simon…   It’s not as easy to find a clip-on bow tie as it was the day the late Senator Paul Simon first snapped one on his collar, but thanks to Google and the internet it’s still possible to order one.   I think they started in the 50s, when pragmatism was more important than style. A waxed crew cut, patent leather shoes never needing polish, get a white sports coat and a ’56 Chevy convertible with portawalls and when you snapped on that bow tie, you owned the universe.   On NPR’s obit, they cited his unmistakable baritone. Maybe he could have been a crooner, maybe he coulda been President. He could have been either a Democrat or a Republican; he was just a nice articulate guy with a bow tie.   6:42:27 PM    comment []

Angels sign Colon to four-year contract   This headline demonstrates a benefit of losing interest in baseball. The front-page link to it at CNN read “Colon Close To Deal With Angels,” even more disturbing though less Faustian. For me, the crisis point was the last baseball strike. When the players came back, I didn’t. There was a brief renaissance of interest when Mark McGuire approached the Roger Maris milestone and the friendly competition between him and the effervescent Sammy Sosa was a big plus, but then McGuire admitted to using over the counter performance enhancers, retired, and the totally unlovable Barry Bonds broke his record while Sammy corked his bat. This year, MLB cracked down on rampant drug abuse in the majors and all the big bats went silent, except possibly that of Randall Simon, who used his to attack a young lady dressed up as a bratwurst in Milwaukee.   If the preceding paragraph is found in a time capsule and is read by 25th century archeologist as baffled by baseball as I am by ancient Mayan sports, an explanation will be needed. Baseball was a game where young men where groups of young men took turns using a piece of wood and attempting to hit a composite sphere assembled in a Caribbean sweatshop. Their success in this endeavor was measured by their ability to run a minimum of 90 feet before the opposing team could get the ball to the same destination if they failed to catch the ball in the air. Young men who excelled at this sport were highly rewarded by team owners who grumbled that they were overcompensated. A thriving city of cottage industries was built in their wake, including memorabilia and graven images. Then one day, a player tripped a sausage and the entire idealistic infrastructure began a slow but unstoppable collapse. A few diehard cultists kept interest alive for a few years by purchasing video of past games, but nobody cared about the real ones anymore. Approximately 2008, Common Era, a large assemblage of forlorn enthusiasts from two major cities, Boston and Chicago, committed ritualistic suicide in Jonestown, Guyana, which has since become a mecca for hopeless cults. 2:27:27 AM    comment []