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United States, North Carolina, Carrboro, English, Paul, Male, 56-60, All Music, All Food.

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Thursday, January 01, 2004

Happy New Year! From Liz, Paul, Claudette & Twyla in high carb, transfatty, cholesterol hog heaven in NC. 5:50:59 PM    comment []

Man Set On Fire By Reporters Utters Cliché   BROOKLYN (DP) – Daily Herald reporters were hoping to get a Pulitzer quality quote from Ed Schlendak, who had recently been informed that his son was murdered, but were forced to get him to speak by dousing him with gasoline and igniting him.   “He was a quiet guy, but still water is good for fishing,” according to Larry Miller, who was assigned the lead by distinguishing himself for getting some really choice sound bytes from WTC survivors and relatives. “We were hoping for something on the order of ‘Peace, Kent. Come not between the dragon and his wrath’ from Lear, but we would have settled for a shortened paraphrase of 'The weight of this sad time we must obey, Speak what we feel, not what we ought to say. The oldest hath borne most, we that are young Shall never see so much nor live so long,’ but, no, all this inarticulate asshole could come up with was ‘ARGHHHHHHhhhhhh…’ and that was hardly worth the effort. In the future, we need to choose our victims more carefully. This exercise was nothing but a waste of fossil fuels.”   Tommy Springer, a loyal Daily Herald reader, agrees. “That ‘ARGHHHHHHhhhhhh…’ was pretty lame. I expected him to wax eloquent and provide me with some valuable insight into the human condition. This Schlendak dude is a total bore!”   4:01:00 AM    comment []

Morituri Te Salutamus Japanese PM visits war shrine Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi has made a New Year visit to a controversial war shrine. The Yasukuni shrine honours 2.5 million of the country's dead in conflicts since 1853, including a number of war criminals. It is Mr Koizumi fourth visit to the Yasukuni since taking office in April 2001. The visit is likely to anger Japan's neighbours, who see the shrine as a symbol of its militaristic past. Among others, the shrine honours wartime Prime Minister Hideki Tojo, who was hanged for war crimes in 1948.    Father, I trust that you have already prepared yourself. Please be sure to send the rice cakes so that they will reach by January 1st. At the lodgings (that I have temporarily decided on) there is a couple with a child. I will have my rice cakes and set out to knock down an enemy aircraft carrier. Ha-ha-ha. I end my message to you with prayers for your immense health and happiness. Please extend my regards to everyone. Also say hello for me to Aunty Yotsuya and Mama Hosono. I set out on my mission as a soldier who will not return. Good-bye. Takeshi Takeda Mikoto Ensign, Japanese Navy Attack Unit, Jinrai Squadron 12th A Class Preparatory Student Killed in Action on April 12, 1945 in the Direction of the Nansei Islands Born in Nagano Prefecture Age: 18 1:49:19 AM    comment []