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Friday, January 02, 2004

10:38:34 PM    comment []

SPORTS UPDATE: Pigs 2, Aging Rockers 0, in bloody holiday battles   Okay, Rush fans, look at this story… Deputies said they had to use a stun gun on 50-year-old Alex Zivojinovich -- known on stage as Alex Lifeson -- for what they described as drunken, violent behavior at the Naples Ritz-Carlton hotel.  ...Justin Zivojinovich said deputies broke his father's nose... The guitarist spat blood on a deputy's face and pushed a deputy down a hotel stairwell during the struggle, a police report said. Oh, yes, those middle-aged rock and rollers, such a threat to the police at the Fascist Proving Grounds of Naples, Florida. Way I read this, rocker invites his son onstage to wish a “Happy New Years” and the pigs go into testosterone frenzy, bust daddy’s nose, and then charge him with assault when he spits blood back at them. Stunned, he falls down the steps and knocks down the guy who shot him. Ah, justice. Now let’s see what’s new with the Meat Puppets… U.S. Magistrate Judge Virginia Mathis also ruled Wednesday (Dec. 31) that there is enough evidence to try Kirkwood, 43, in connection with a Dec. 26 incident at a Phoenix post office, said Harriet Bernick, a spokeswoman for the U.S. Attorney's Office. Kirkwood is accused of hitting a federal post office security guard in the head with a baton that the musician took from the guard during a struggle. According to court documents, the guard then shot Kirkwood in the back. Okay, how the fuck can you shoot someone in the back when they’re attacking you with your own baton? Do we really need this much protection from the people we're paying to entertain us? 10:08:55 PM    comment []

Deep, Deep Inside The Creative Processes Of A Truly Brilliant and, more importanly, Articulate Writer   Lemme think. There’s this all-encompassing metaphor taking shape in my brain, like the iceberg that nailed the Titanic. It’s about 50% fluid, but it has some allusions to wood, no, make that the animal kingdom...minks with chastity belts, zebras wearing condoms, rats in sheep's clothing - no, no, Let's have another Lone Star dear...   I think I’ve got it. It’s…uhm (where have I seen that lately?)…uh, uh, UH – “An ARMADILLO with tire marks!” No, no, no, too Texan, maybe a possum, yeah, a POSSUM, let's score with the midwest focus groups, a possum with FINGERNAIL POLISH! Yes, Yes, harder, harder…no, no, it’s not quite right, possums don’t have fingernails, they have claws, way too threatening. Shall we have a mimosa?   Let’s try a PIG, yes, that would be delightful and, by George, I THINK I’VE GOT IT! A pig with moustache wax! Yeah! I can just picture that walking pork chop thinking he’s cool, putting Dapper Dan pomade on his whiskers - wait a minute, pigs don’t have whiskers, I can’t ask my readers, my beloved readers, to make that big (or should that be “wide?”) a leap of faith. I do like the pig though, let me think, some more tequila, darling, yes, thank you.   Where was I? Cattle, cosmetics, let me sleep on it. 7:40:50 AM    comment []