When I first saw this, I wasn’t very impressed, but in recent days both “waffle” and “flip-flop” seem to have gripped the national psyche. Neither is insurmountably multisyllabic and both conjure up graphic images. Plus, they are easy to pronounce by people with known difficulties with their language.
There are a few pejorative connotations with “waffle,” especially here in the south where Waffle Houses feed off the veins of the interstates, sucking up clientele who were just too cruddy to get past the maitre d’ at the White Castle. On the other hand, a man “down on his luck” can get a couple of eggs, grits, the famous waffle, and a bottomless cup of coffee for a fraction of the cost of refueling his F-150, so it's a real good deal-o.
Likewise “flip-flops.” First thing you think of is cheap rubbery shoes you wear in public showers at the beach to prevent Athlete’s Foot and other, even more sinister fungi that grab onto your feet, turn your toenails black, and gradually rot your toes off. On the other hand, something that helps prevent putrefying diseases is not totally a bad thing, dude. Just because you stubbed your toe once when one folded up under your foot doesn’t mean that you haven’t been spared even greater unspeakable agonies.
Metaphorically speaking, both expressions convey “wishy-washiness,” which no one with a propensity for slurring would ever attempt in front of an audience or on Live TV. Furthermore, it has 5 syllables and everyone knows that “5 is right out.” So we’ll stick with “waffle” and “flip-flop.”
On the third hand, maybe the fourth, we see the alternative: A steady hand at the wheel, the ship’s captain who sails relentlessly onward, committed to his faith in nautical maps as he crashes into the shoals they say aren’t there. Never let the evidence stand in the way of what you believe, the things you know in your heart to be self-evident truths! He is oodles superior to the flip-flopping waffle who shrieks, “HOLY SHIT!” spins the wheel frantically, and coincidentally saves his ship and his crew. That man who is a moral coward, incapable of standing up for what he believes.
Metaphors are for sissies anyway. I want a nice Belgian waffle with a whole lotta maple syrup, gobs of butter, and a few rashers of bacon on the side.
5:28:23 PM 
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