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Thursday, May 20, 2004

Golly, there’s sure something familiar about Rebecca…where have I seen her before? 11:41:01 PM    comment []

The Rookie Driver   “Gentlemen, start your engines,” came the voice from the loudspeakers and the gentlemen did. A deafening roar like a swarm of 2-ton locusts, and soon all the cars began to follow the pace car on the track. All except one. It came to the first turn and inexplicably continued straight ahead, through the barricades, through the fences, and into the horrified crowd.   Before the dust had settled, the car’s owner rushed to the accident scene and witnessed a strange sight. The driver had extricated himself from the car and was wandering around merrily in the crowd, giving the thumbs-up, shaking hands, and signing autographs.   The owner was furious. “What the &^%* are you doing,” he screamed.   The driver grinned and gave him a really big thumbs-up. “I just did what you told me to do...”   The owner was silent as he hit his mental rewind button and reviewed his pre-race instructions.   “NO, no, no, you freakin’ idiot! What I told you was to ‘stay on the course!’” 11:02:31 PM    comment []

Something Wicked This Way Comes   President Bush’s desperate trip to Capitol Hill this morning to secretly promote a more perfect union for Republicans (and by Republicans), timed perfectly with the Chalabi raid, seems to portend a story on the horizon that might have gone totally out of control. Circle the wagons! 5:38:21 PM    comment []

The most interesting part of these Rebel Beans – without a doubt - has got to be the pressure-cooked peppercorns. They become soft, like a caper, chewy, with only an afterthought of the intense flavor dispersed into the “pot likker.”   More peppery than that, but not as much as you might expect. These things have a little potential of their own.   The onions disappeared, vaporized as if truly nuked. 4:48:08 PM    comment []

For my adopted Southern soul, this sight does for me what the “kiss of the road” does for my cyberbud Steve. It is hog jowl, delicately cut into bite-sized pieces and rendering slow over low heat. When the fat makes tiny Don Ho bubbles small enough to pass through the holes of a sieve, it will be done.   I’ve already sliced a couple of white onions and they are resting in the pressure cooker. When the jowl is finished and drained, it will be layered atop them. Then a bag of dry great northern beans, enough water for them to reach their full potential, and a couple tablespoons Pocahontas Ham Base. Maybe a few whole peppercorns. Red pepper flakes   The whole shebang will cook for 30 minutes while the pressure cooker spits at the cats. Let it cool 15 minutes, remove the pressure valve and lid, and you’re ready to secede from the Union.   3:10:31 PM    comment []

Conspiracy Theory A quiet little raid in Baghdad. US military and Iraqi police storm the home of former Cheney and Rumsfeld confidante Ahmed Chalabi, point a gun at his head (according to his nephew who, coincidentally, has the job over overseeing war crimes investigation in Iraq), and leave with an SUV loaded with secret files. My first question is, how can the American taxpayer afford the gas for that SUV? Shouldn’t they have used a compact car, maybe like my Civic. It gets over 30 miles to the gallon, even in heavy traffic. Another question that comes to mind is the timing of this raid. Days ago, until they cut off his monthly stipend of $335,000, Chalabi had the inside track to be the next Grand Kuhuna of a free and democratic Iraq. A safe Iraq, freed from all the al-Qaeda connections and WMDs that the good Doctor Ahmed documented in detail for a US casus belli. Surely they don’t think he was embezzling – he gave up that kind of criminal behavior years ago. Say, you don’t suppose he tried to blackmail somebody, do you? It would have to be somebody pretty well-connected if he did. Pulling vital troops (not to mention all those Iraqi cops) away from critical defense positions to grab a bunch of files wouldn’t happen if just some Army Specialist or NCO were pulling the strings. No, the order to do this had to come from pretty high up the food chain of command. Maybe they think he was implicated in the assassination of Izzadine Saleem, (now) former president of the IGC – which should never be confused with the INC. That’s Chalabi’s group. Chalabi’s SUV went through the gate just moments before Saleem’s vehicle almost made it through and, at the time, there was some speculation Ahmed might have been the target. It would also make a good alibi, making it look like you had been at risk, if you happened to be a clever guy.. Whatever, all this has come down pretty fast. Chalabi’s fall from grace, from barefoot boy with cheek of tan to red-haired stepchild, has been phenomenal. Prince to pauper, sheep to goat - all in a matter of mere days. I wouldn’t want to be Ahmed Chalabi right now, though I would like to get his SUV. And free gas. Why do all these guys get SUVs and I get stuck with a cruddy Civic? 7:52:16 AM    comment []