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United States, North Carolina, Carrboro, English, Paul, Male, 56-60, All Music, All Food.

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Saturday, May 22, 2004

When the class of Sister Ruth did Dino for their senior class play in, I dunno, 1958 the people of Deshler, OH wanted to believe their seniors only did comedy. So desperate to believe, they laughed at inappropriate places. If you don’t know what else to do, laugh like Lucy’s laugh track. When, in a moment of dramatic frustration, Dick “Carpe” Diem (doing a decent Sal Mineo, his hair dyed black from his usual blonde) smashed a glass on the stage floor, the audience laughed – but then they gasped. It was a big scandal for a few days after in Deshler because what he did was anti-social, even though it was in the script.   Between the first and second act, Larry King and Malcolm Whitehouse came out and did the primordial Elvis imitation, lip-synching “Don’t Be Cruel.” Larry worked the microphone and Malcolm strutted with a guitar. The Deshler crowd loved it. So much that they were called back for an encore between the second and third acts. The drama people hated that because they just did the exact same thing again, obviously anticlimactic. But the Deshler Illuminati loved it – here were a couple of local boys being anti-social in an approved manner. The elders universally hated Dino, after a few days of discussion, when it became apparent it was not a typical feather-duster (just a year before, Irma Hoops had done a world class feather-duster exposition to a typical high school comedy) prefaced boilerplate comedy, but they accepted “Elvis” and his sidekick with open arms. The kids are alright.   4:54:50 PM    comment []

One of the most wonderful brand names of all time. When you think of cornstarch, do you not immediately think “ARGO?” And look at the Indian Corn Princess! Not to worry, you guys in the ARGO PR staff, people concerned with political correctness do not buy cornstarch.   Anyway, the two chili sauces have been merged. The first was thick, the second runny, first one serious, second funny. I took a picture of the sludge that comes out of the VillaWare strainer but didn’t post it because there is nothing attractive about it. After mixing the two sauces (both surprisingly mild despite the overdose of onion, garlic, and spice) I threw in quarter cup of brown sugar. Then some cornstarch to bind it all. It’s about the right thickness now, so I’ll turn off the heat and mix in vinegar to taste – probably a quarter cup of that too.     5:01:13 AM    comment []