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Monday, May 31, 2004

Ghosts Of Me   This is one of those “spiritual journey” entries; so if that cup of tea bores the piss out of you, quit reading now.   Martha Stewart is trying to get her sentence reduced. Poor Martha, a brilliant and talented person, she made one incredibly stupid decision that has cost her reputation, career, and freedom – and it all happened in the microseconds of a speed dial. She was dedicated to perfection, but has been ruined by one impulsive moment.   Now, take a look at Chante Mallard, no longer a household name, but another person who made one incredibly stupid decision. To review, she got 50 years in a Texas prison for a heartless hit and run, allowing her victim to die on her windshield, offering apologies but no help. She got an extra 10 years for tampering with evidence.   On the surface, these women, a successful stockbroker and homemaker from Hell and a nurse’s aide with a weakness for pot and Ecstasy, have nothing in common except getting caught. Maybe it was the first time either one did something stupid. How long does it take to make a life-changing decision? Let’s ask J. Alfred:   Do I dare Disturb the universe? In a minute there is time For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.   Sounds pretty upbeat, all you need is that extra minute and an “R” on your gearshift – but you don’t always get that.   I am a lucky person. The only times I’ve had to appear in court was for divorce or jury duty. Thinking back, I’ve done some things nearly as stupid as Martha and Chante, but I either found reverse or didn’t get caught. When I look at them – and I’m basically a good person, like them – I see no evil. I think, “There, but for the grace of God, go I,” so when I appear for jury duty on July 7, the defense attorney (probably a public defender), will like me immediately. The prosecuting attorney, on the other hand, will sense something threatening and use a peremptory challenge to have me dismissed. That shapeless threat is the quality of mercy and it is unwelcome nearly everywhere these days, especially courtrooms.   4:54:12 PM    comment []

“This is my rifle…”   Presumptive US President George W. Bush has a $125b trophy from his WMD scavenger hunt in the ancient land of Babylon, now commonly called “Iraq.” It is Saddam Hussein’s “gun,” safely checked for potentially dangerous “rounds” and mounted on a plaque, kinda like Billy Bass.   Second Amendment enthusiasts will certainly not be content with these minimal details. They’ll want to know the manufacturer, the caliber, the year it was made, its muzzle velocity, the size of the exit wound, etc., but for now they’ll have to content themselves with the warm fuzzy feeling that one weapon we know for sure that Saddam had is safely out of his hands and in the Oval Office.   However, if you are a very special friend, say like a Pioneer or a Ranger, there's a pretty good chance you'll get an invitation to a "private viewing" of the President's war trophy case. In case you become confused in the passion of the moment, fear not, Saddam's pistol is the one thing there that looks like a pistol. Don't bother looking at the dental records (they will look like dental records). 4:34:22 AM    comment []