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United States, North Carolina, Carrboro, English, Paul, Male, 56-60, All Music, All Food.

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Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Bloom Trekkies   Worthy of major editorials in the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and the Washington Post, Bloomsday has now ended in Dublin. Whew!   This must be the Modernists revenge for the week of Reagan necrophilia. That book was written for people who aren’t satisfied with mere Mensa credentials; no, they really wanna lay it on you with details of their tedious mastery of the deliberatively inscrutable Joyce.   Expect an aftershock next year, “The Centenary Plus One,” and maybe a couple more, like Rocky sequels, as they plunge in the sordid details of Dublin walking paths and Molly masturbation fantasies - just to make you feel inadequate.   "No," you'll mumble, embarrassed, "I couldn't get through it," ashamed to even think that it was the first page alone what done you in.   Do not be fooled! For the next 98, 97, or 96 years they will be saying “Kirk up!” into their cell phones or speaking obscure Klingon dialects - until it is time for a friggin' bicentennial. Do not encourage them! They can be eliminated in this generation if we all just ignore them! 8:01:45 PM    comment []

This is what I mean by a butter-toasted bun. Both halves will look like this. This is a very cheap bun, Food lion brand, and it practically wilts undergoing this process, but it will do. Smear the business surface with soft butter, get it down into the craters. Drop it on a preheated warm ("3") cast iron pan and it will look like this in about a minute and a half. The sealed surface adds texture and soaks up the runny parts of the burger, preventing the soft parts behind the toast barricade from getting soggy. A good bun does even better.   7:19:58 PM    comment []

I have to cheer the Pistons NBA championship, because if anyone deserves to get stuck in Detroit, it’s Larry Brown. Throughout his career, this man without an allegiance, has been renowned mainly for always keep his suitcase packed to move on to a better opportunity. Now the best the NBA has to offer is the Detroit Pistons, 5 rings and no indictments. Larry has found his soul team. Children beware! If you relentlessly pursue your ambition without developing loyalty, you too may end up living in Detroit. 5:22:01 PM    comment []

For reference: Craig Claiborne’s Ultimate Hamburger   From The Tabasco Cookbook, by Paul McIlhenny with Barbara Hunter   Craig Claiborne, cookbook author and former food editor of the New York Times, has been a great longtime friend and Tabasco sauce fan. He says Tabasco sauce is "absolutely essential" for this hamburger, which is a holdover from his bachelor days in Chicago.                       1-½ pounds ground round steak                     Salt to taste                     Freshly ground black pepper to taste                     4 tablespoons butter                     1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce                     ½ teaspoon Tabasco pepper sauce, or to taste                     Juice of ½ lemon                     1/3 cup finely chopped fresh parsley   Divide the meat into 4 portions and shape each into a round patty. Handle the meat lightly, pressing Just enough so that it holds together. Sprinkle the bottom of a very heavy skillet, preferably black iron, with a very light layer of salt, and heat the skillet until it is searingly hot. Add the patties and sear well on each side. Using a pancake turner, quickly turn the patties and reduce the heat. Cook the patties to the desired degree of doneness, 3 minutes or longer. When the hamburgers are done, sprinkle them with salt and pepper and top each with I tablespoon of butter. Sprinkle on the Worcestershire, Tabasco sauce, and lemon juice and transfer each hamburger to the bottom of a hamburger bun or a piece of wheat toast. Sprinkle with parsley. If a bun is used, add the top.   SERVES 4 4:20:52 PM    comment []