This has been done many times before, but never before has the Bacon/Osama link been made without at least one frivolous or whimsical connection. I provide definitive proof, with real clickable links!
Kevin Bacon must die! Not by the disgusting methods used by uncivilized camel-hugging barbarians, such as beheading. No, we are civilized, so we will concoct a dossier of semantic ambiguities about him, then bombard him with adjective-laded explosives dropped from unseen high-altitude aircraft. That is the way of civilization.
Here is the case against Kevin Bacon:
(1) The bin Laden family physician was Mohammed Khashoggi. He treated Mohammed bin Laden, the father of Osama. Both men were named “Mohammed” - are you scared yet?
(2) If dueling Mohammeds don’t make you pee yourself, how about this? On May 17, 2001, less than 4 months before 9/11, Adrian Khashoggi, the son of Mohammed, was photographed at a Cannes Film Festival event (of the sort where rabid, delirious, insane Riefenstahl clones like Michael Moore get Golden Frog awards for factually-incorrect "documentaries") on the same film that captured the Arquette Sisters at an event suspiciously named “A Diamond Is Forever: Cinema Against AIDS 2001.”
(3) The Arquette sisters have a brother. His name is David Arquette. Who knows what happens at their family picnics? He appeared in a 1996 film Johns. Keith David played “Homeless John” in that production. Keith David also played a “Detective Lunt” in a 2001 film Novocaine.
(4) Kevin Bacon appeared in Novocaine, albeit in a suspiciously uncredited role as “Actor Lance Phelps.” Bacon was an A-List star by 2001, what was he trying to hide?
That’s only four, there are still two to spare. What more proof do you need? I’m saying there was a link from Kevin Bacon to Osama bin Laden because there was a link from Kevin Bacon to Osama bin Laden.
Why do you think all roads lead to Kevin Bacon? Is that a pop-culture obsession or is a part of a greater knowledge that Jung identified as a murmur of truth from the "collective unconsciousness?" Is there time to waver or flip-flop like a Kerryesque Vietnam war-wound faking waffling goldbricker? No, I don't think so. Kevin Bacon Must Die! Now! Before it's too late! For the good of the country.
If we stop to think we could all be dead ourselves. How would you like that?
7:34:17 PM 
|
