I am free of debt
Because I refinanced my mortgage
On 0.0% introductory rate vanity credit cards
Got the cheapest phone
The cheapest insurance
Made thousands working from home
And learned how to file for bankruptcy
Without indignity
I am so high
I get thousands of pharmaceuticals
At dirt cheap prices
Good stuff, the kind that make painful memories fade
Into a blissful whirlpool of brightly colored complacency
Like squirrel farts in a monsoon
It's all legal!
I smile a lot
All the time, in fact
Discordant stimuli cannot penetrate
My fortress of invulnerability
I get free porn!
Sexy friends surround me, comfort me
My cable TV is legally free
My dick is eight feet long
Because I read my Spam
3:30:36 AM
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