Senator Joseph “Joe” Lieberman, former spokesman for Democrats Inseparable in Simple Conflicted Opposition - To Blowjobs– Yet Orthodox, Unmistakably, Jewish? (DICSO – TB – YOU,J?) seeks to revitalize his trademarked JoeMentum® with an Audie Murphy inspired verbal assault on the politically sensitive topic of terrorism.
“Sure,” said Joe, “we could probably remain in session and pass some drastic legislation to seal our ports, maybe even catch the anthrax guy, burn the midnight oil and make America safer, on paper at least, but our message must remain diligent to our cause, which is to show the terrorists that politics will go on as usual, despite the fact that they may murder our constituency as we seek re-election.”
In a remarkable show of unity, President George “Dubya” Bush agreed. “What’s important now is not a simple reaction to the findings of the 9/11 Commission. What’s important is that we hit the campaign trail with the same line of horseshit voters have become accustomed to the past 25 years. If we were to radically change anything, say, adjust our national defenses to prevent acts of terrorism, it would be a clear sign to the terrorists that they have defeated us.”
“So eloquent,” chimed in Joe, touching Dubya’s kneecap. “There is no symbol more important than the American Political Process, where we go out and spew mindless aphorisms and try to dupe the American Public into believing we’ve got a better handle on the problems facing humanity than, say, a hillbilly from Arkansas who is only worried about where he’s gonna get his next piece of ass.”
“You sure got that right,” leered Dubya as he turned wildly and bit Joe’s ear lobe. “No matter how competent these terrorists are compared to us, they can’t murder the entire populace by November 2. Sure, we have to be prepared to take a few casualties, but they’re basically expendable people in the first place. A few factory workers, a few immigrants - the bulk of the population will thank US that they’re still alive.”
Joe, visibly disturbed by unseen, perhaps religious forces, pauses before picking up the beat. Obviously embarrassed by the soul kiss he spontaneously planted on The President, he wipes the sweat from his brow. “A few, uh, suspected terrorists, a few abortionists, a few – maybe whole lot of other morally corrupt people?” He winks at an unseen camera, off somewhere maybe to the right.
At first unconsciously, but then again deliberately, like some unashamed slut in a red Victoria’s Secret nightie he whispers. “What’s really important is the electoral process, not the legislative process.'
“Goldurned right,” hollers Dubya, in full cowpoke glory, and the klieg lights rise.
“Goldurned right!” Echoes Joe, wide-eyed like a whore who just got a 5-Benjamin tip.
Dubya lights a cigarette, inhales deeply, and stares coldly into the starry eyes of Joe. “Maybe we could just give the impression that we really give a fuck,, know what I mean?” he says, winking back at long last, smirking and looking up at the brightly lit ceiling and the slowly whirling fan.
"I was raised almost entirely on turnips and potatoes, but I think that the turnips had more to do with the effect than the potatoes," answers Joe, after a long simmering silence.
8:37:29 PM 
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