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United States, North Carolina, Carrboro, English, Paul, Male, 56-60, All Music, All Food.

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Friday, November 12, 2004

Fudd acquitted; Peterson Convicted               9:17:02 PM    comment []

Michael Parker is a proud new 113 daddy!   Drop by and congratulate him and, while you’re there, be sure to read his Russian Ark review.       8:15:54 PM    comment []

Zebra Omelet   Late breakfast today. Fixed up some country ham*, covered with water, simmered until the water was gone. The pan fond could be used for red eye gravy, you know, deglaze with some coffee, but I melted butter into it instead and started the omelet.   As the inevitable bubbles and puddles formed in it, I stabbed it with a spatula to allow the latter to flow under the former. I didn’t plan it that way, but since I always stabbed at the same angle these stripes were formed. Never thought about it until I folded the omelet to fit a bun.   (That bun was dressed with bumpy German mustard, baby Swiss, and the country ham before the omelet came along and the whole mess was toasted in the panini maker.)     *1902 - Smithfield, Virginia's most famous resident is a ham. The Isle of Wight Museum located in Smithfield, Virginia is home to the "World's Oldest Smithfield Ham." Originally cured in 1902, this ham somehow escaped shipping and turned up several years later. Since this ham has never been under refrigeration, P.D. Gwaltney, dealers in groceries, dry goods, and general merchandising, decided to keep it and see how long it would last. This pet ham became Gwaltney's mascot and was featured in "Ripley's Believe It or Not" as the worlds oldest ham in the 1900s and again in 2003. Gwaltney even insured it for $1,000 by Lloyds of London.     7:29:31 PM    comment []

Morimur   “Awe” is an insufficient word to describe a reaction to what has been accomplished on this recording. Yes, “we die,” in both the Latin* intended and Elizabethan** implied. Let’s hear it for both the Hilliards and Christoph Poppen! - but it never could have happened without the genius of Helga.       *nascentes morimur - from the moment we are born, we die   **6. In Elizabethan slang, the term "to die" meant to have an orgasm. This double entendre was often used by John Donne, and by Shakespeare in King Lear.   4:03:40 PM    comment []

The Summer of Jimmy Flood     3:15:20 PM    comment []

It was these Swiss chard stuffing purses from the Thanksgiving issue of Gourmet that made me decide what to do. They present a cornucopia of attractive and exotic dishes and, most importantly, a day-by-day game plan beginning a week ahead.   That is doable.   2:42:31 PM    comment []

The Republic of Tea   They sent me a nice glossy catalog, probably because of one of my food magazine subscriptions. It came for free even though it had a one-dollar cover price. Liz loved it, despite all the herbal cockamamie, because it did have some really cool teapots and other glam paraphernalia. The one thing that caught my eye was tea oil:   We invite you to discover one of China's rarest expressions of the Tea Maker's Art. Long prized for its exquisite yellow jade hue and soft, slightly sweet finish, this light, aromatic Tea Oil has been a part of Asian culinary fare for generations. We work directly with tea growers in the lush tea gardens of China's famed Jiang Xi Province to produce this pure, special reserve, hand-crafted Tea Oil. Tea seeds from the Camellia (tea plant) are cold-pressed to produce this exquisite and healthful oil. Imperial Republic Tea Oil contains less saturated fat than olive oil and is adaptable to a multitude of cooking styles.   It’s pricey – about 15 bucks for a little more than a pint (500ml), but the suggested recipes use small amounts, essentially as a flavoring. Next time your change jar fills up, cash it in and try some. I will.     1:54:41 PM    comment []

REBUTTAL:   Jimmy Carter Babbles Incoherently about Peace in The New York Times   First of all, Carter is a liberal and you know what that means. He clings demonically to outmoded thinking and truly believes – get this! – That you can have peace in the Middle East without being forced to slaughter entire trainloads of evil people. He is deluded. Look at him. Look in his eyes and catch a glimmer of that secret lust lingering in his heart. He is a moron and a closet pervert! Bring your children indoors until he goes away!   In the New York Times? Ha! End of argument.   The way to peace is to kill every one of them who stands in the way of it. History has taught us that and God smiles on those who kill their enemies, Isaiah 53, Redskins 10. God also smiles on Our President - and those who oppose Him must be destroyed, lest He hear their blasphemy and bringeth down His grapeful wrath on all of us!   Like He did in Sodom and Gomorrah.   Bush knows that.    When The President speaks, we should silently smile. We should widen our eyes, let our eyelids flutter, lower our heads, and grovel hopefully. Then perhaps he will grace us with a crumb from our Master’s Table.     So I have this to say to Jimmy "Peace Prize" Carter:   SHUT UP!   Yeah, that’s right, Carter, I know how to find your house, so SHUT UP!   LISTEN TO ME!!!   SHUT UP!  SHUT UP!  SHUT UP!     …and quit using words like “interregnum” that nobody understands! I tried to be nice, but I'm losing patience with you.       4:24:09 AM    comment []

Philosophy   I don’t talk much about work on the blog except when I’m traveling. That is deliberate. The reason I travel is that all our manufacturing is done in Asia, wherever it is cheapest at the moment. Our engineering development is mainly in a complex near Tokyo. That’s why I go there once a year on average.   When technical problems come to us here in the Research Triangle Park in North Carolina we solve them over 90% of the time. The other 10% are escalated to our local engineering group comprised of local engineers who mainly focus on resolving complaints from high-dollar accounts. They are geographically in the US but structurally a branch of the Japanese group. When issues arise that require involvement from development, they flow up this technical food chain to the engineers in Tokyo.   So, say a problem comes to me. The fix requires a hardware or software revision. I end up working with the engineers there and the customers here until an agreeable resolution is accomplished. That is called “resolution.”   All that is preface.     One day, many years ago, a moderate level problem came to us and we escalated. The US engineers took one look, shrugged their shoulders, and escalated. It went to the land of ancestral wisdom and resided there for a short time while dedicated minds focused on more pressing issues. As these were resolved in a carefully established order of priority, the problem waited patiently until its day came and it percolated to the surface.   A development engineer, sitting in his cubicle there, stared at his CRT and studied it. Then he looked out the window at the beautiful arcade of cherry blossoms framing the narrow streets outside the plant and the solution formed in his mind. Inspired, he pounced on the keyboard and entered the following resolution into the case’s text:             “All we have to do is nothing!”   And that was it. A verbal marriage of Zen philosophy and engineering pragmatism made in heaven. Given time, the issue will resolve itself. Simple. Elegant. Pregnant with grace, wise beyond its years and enlightened beyond the Buddha.   This simple pronouncement, made before the taking of rice and tea, has become a legend and the unofficial motto of our technical support group. All we have to do is nothing.     3:49:34 AM    comment []