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United States, North Carolina, Carrboro, English, Paul, Male, 56-60, All Music, All Food.

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Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Listen to me. I’m getting really pissed hearing about how Reagan won the Cold War.   We had a short truce, that’s all. In fact, we have been waiting for over a decade for a rematch. All we ever needed was a hardliner coup in the USA to solidify our hardliner base here in the former USSR, but do not despair.   We can still join hands again with our American brethren to subdue this momentary menace we both call “terrorism,” just as we joined hands 60 years ago to extinguish the combined threat of the Hun and the Yellow Peril.   Yes. The “divide and rule” maxim served us both well for over half a century, keeping the ordinary citizens of both our countries subdued in terror of nuclear holocaust and forcing the insignificant players on the world stage to align with one us or the other. You sided with South Korea and we got the North, likewise in Vietnam. It was like one hand washing the other and neither of us got too greedy. Those were good times.    But now you want the whole pot. That is foolish. We still have the capacity to destroy you. In your heart, you know this was never about economic systems. Even at the peak of the Cold War both our countries were both capitalists at heart, taking only what was necessary from the pot to maintain control at home and fear abroad. It was about control and antagonistic collaboration served both our ends well.    You have no idea of the visceral component of real war. 3,000 on 9/11 shocked you. That is silly and self-aggrandizing.   Between The War To End All Wars and the Second Great War, only one generation lived in peace. The combatants realigned between them as they are doing now. Then, by delaying your commitment to either side, you were able to choose your allies and be on the winning side of both wars and not be hurt too badly by either. We sacrificed twice as many in The Battle Of Stalingrad alone than you did in both wars combined. Good move, comrade! We salute your restraint.   In the rematch, your allies will choose you. Now all we have to ask them is, “Who do you see as the greater enemy?”   Computers you designed control our new missiles. Re-targeting them now is a trivial task. For that, we thank you. But we must also warn you, as you chase dust bunnies across the windy sands of Iraq, do not take your eye off us. We are still here and all we have to do is wait.     5:24:10 PM    comment []

Goss tells CIA workers to get behind president   WASHINGTON, D.C. -- New CIA chief Porter Goss has told employees that they are expected to "support the administration and its policies in our work," a copy of the internal memorandum shows. "As agency employees we do not identify with, support or champion opposition to the administration or its policies," Goss said in the memo circulated Monday at the Central Intelligence Agency. He added that he was seeking "to clarify beyond doubt the rules of the road." There you have it. Intelligence will now report only what the President wants to hear.   5:39:18 AM    comment []

Murdoch plans summer launch of new financial channel   Murdoch said it will offer "more positive programming." Although CNBC's ratings have dropped sharply since the stock market bubble burst, it is very profitable, attracting a prime audience for advertisers.   Just the good financial news! No more Enrons! This is good news for serious investors as well as stockbrokers. It serves both well that Rupert plans to cultivate a large audience of foolish investors.     5:20:57 AM    comment []

Saying goodbye to Bill Safire…   WASHINGTON — Lord knows I have tried, over the years, to keep Colin Powell on the grammatical strait and narrow. And yet, announcing his resignation, the departing secretary of state said that after the president and he had "fulsome discussions on it, we came to mutual agreement. ..." Fulsome means "offensively excessive," and when two people agree, it's always mutual. This otherwise good man is incorrigible. Pssst, Bill, maybe Colin said exactly what he meant. USAGE NOTE: Fulsome is often used to mean “offensively flattering or insincere.” But the word is also used, particularly in the expression fulsome praise, to mean simply “abundant,” without any implication of excess or insincerity. This usage is etymologically justified but may invite misunderstandings in contexts in which a deprecatory interpretation could be made. The sentence I offer you my most fulsome apologies may raise an eyebrow, where the use of an adjective like full or abundant would leave no room for doubt as to the sincerity of the speaker's intentions.    5:09:07 AM    comment []