Will The Invisible Hand Snag Osama?
Some genius in the State Department has decided that the way to catch bin Laden is to double the bounty on him from $25 million to whatever twice that is, a figure rivaling the cost of Bush’s second inauguration. This is logic you’d expect from an administration that worships the free economy with a fervor they normally reserve for abstractions like america next to of course god. While this deep pocket gesture might excite Super Lotto addicts who routinely cross state lines for a potential jackpot winner, I doubt it will cause any of the Islamic ascetics who surround Mr. “Wanted Dead, preferably, Or Alive” to betray him.
It’s like ask Ralph Nader not to run for President, it just gives them an opportunity to bore us with more of their endless fanatical responses.
Better to lower the bounty and create a seller’s panic. I mean, if you owned a stock that suddenly dropped 50%, wouldn’t you consider cashing in? If it's going up, you want to hold on to it and wait for a higher price. Fear and greed - and Omar might be seeing Osama as his 401(k).
Even if this appeal to their greed works and catches the big guy, how do you think the "winners" will spend that money? Building bridges? Starting something like the Ford Foundation? Hell no, they will do what bin Laden did when we empowered him. They will take the money, laugh at us, and then use it to finance more terrorism. Like the Mujahideen did when we empowered them. Like the Wahabis did when the Saudi princes tried to buy them off.
On the bright side, we could always celebrate a Burn’s Supper and recite his Address To A Haggis. From the noble puddin’, we might expect an intelligent response. Hey, haggis, if I pay you a hundred bucks will you stop looking like headcheese wrapped up in a sheep gut burrito? How about two hundred? I can almost feel the greed bloating that sucker up. Any minute now, it will become a Big Mac. Everything has its price - so how much does it cost to make haggis be a hamburger?
10:04:31 PM 
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