It's pouring, son, son's crimb-busting partner, son-in-law and three guys who don't really know why they're up here on the hill, are trying like hell to get the water turned back on. Not that the water company turned it off. NO! That'd be too easy to fix. But in their haste to slap up siding on the cottage nextdoor, they slapped a HUGE hole in the bathroom. Soggy sheetrock from a constant drip from the water pipe MIGHT have had something to do with it.... erk. The convergence of great minds then decided to rid the cottage of it's quaint, 60 yr. old footed bathtub and found they had to attach a chain to it and rev up the 4x4 Lincoln Navigator to get that ancient IRON BEHEMOTH out the hole in the wall. This action seemed to me to be the cause of the break in the water pipe -- the water pipe being tugged at by all three dogs... water spewing hither and yon. One of those "yons" happened to be my #2 ex hubby's pad. Within minutes he hooked up his 5th wheeler and loudly announced his departure for... ALABAMA. (I place this in caps to warn folks in that loverly state that the loudest, no-butt, Yankee idiot is headed in their direction. My suggestion: MOVE!) After everyone recovered from the laughing fit at seeing #2ex doing a wheelie in a Chevy attached to a 5th wheeler to get out of here, well... they tried to corral the dogs and recover the water pipe from them. In spite of having NO WATER, I was enjoying myself. Better'n TV - except for Monty Python's Flying Circus, Fawlty Towers, Absolutely Fabulous and reruns of Bonanza. Fat, sassy, dry and cozy, I watched the mayhem from my perch on the couch ... the one the monkey ate part of --- and, NO, I wasn't sitting on that part. I called out for pizza -- it seemed the decent thing to do. I rummaged through the shed and came up with 4 Bud's, 8 Coors, a Bud ICE (whatever that is), and a nice little cabernet. Folks! THAT is ALL it takes to become a HERO! (of course I didn'te devulge the existence of the cabernet... you think I'm completely bonkers?) NOTE TO FUTURE PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATES: ORDER UP SOME PIZZA, RUSTLE UP SOME BEER, HAVE A LITTLE CABERNET (disguised as a McDonald's soda in the proper cup 'n all) AND EVERY RED-BLOODED MALE IN AMERICA IS YOURS! (whether or not they know how to vote)
11:41:49 AM 
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