Saturday, January 11, 2003

They finished the floor & walls of the bathroom in the cottage...this is GOOD news because the water source for the cottage is also MY water source.  Unfortunately, we DO have a stream AND rocks... so I didn't get out of doing the laundry (har-t-har-har).  Yes, I now have water... COLD water, which is good enough to flush the toilet without trudging out to the well and hoisting buckets of water to fill the tank & bowl to accomplish the same thing.  With all this water stuff going on... AND THE RAIN... I have run out of towels.  Had to sneak over to daughter's house across the way and "borrow" some of her raggedy-ass towels she uses to dry the dogs.  Called the carpet cleaners.  I always say, when you can no longer see the original color of the carpet, it's time to get it cleaned.  In this case, dyed could be a better solution for light, smoke green carpet. No one used to have carpets wall-to-wall.  They had rugs.  If the rugs got dirty you tossed 'em over the line (that's CLOTHES LINE) and got out all your frustrations by beating them with a wire whisk-looking thing.  We bathed in the kitchen in huge metal tubs filled with stove-heated water & the pump at the sink.  Now, maybe your family bathed separately but used the same water.  Our family believed clean water was for the use of one and all.  Communal bathing began at our house.  So did communal soap fights, communal splashing and communal teat tweeking.  Gram used the flood to wash the floor & kept right on going out the door to include the porch 'n steps.  EPA...    EAT YER HEART OUT!!!  10:02:51 PM    comment []

THE AMERICAN HERETIC'S DICTIONARY  definitions: MEGADONT - a BIG TIME no-no MELANCHOLIC - sick on cantalopes  MELOGRAM - a laid-back grandparent MELON FLY - a cantalope with a zipper MEMORATE - the speed at which notes pass around the office MEMORIALIST - arrive list-less at the market   (memory 'o-list) MESOLITE - a 42,000 watt bulb   (yep, dassa mess 'o light) METAPHOR - a woofer encountered in a singles bar METALWARE - knight's clothing store   9:47:46 PM    comment []

WARNING!   WARNING!   WARNING! LIZARDS LIKE SILKY UNDERWEAR AND THE QUIET OF A DRESSER DRAWER! CONSIDER YOURSELVES "ON   NOTICE" ... THEN  DIAL 911 ... 'CAUSE I CAN SEE MY HEART BEATING IRREGULARLY ... OVER THERE ON THE BOOKCASE!!! 1:02:51 AM    comment []

The rain has slackened to perpetual drizzle, I had to go across to daughter's house to shower (still no hot water), and if they don't get my toilet fixed I'll be scouting a site for an outhouse when the neighbor's new FIGHTING ROOSTERS CROW -- make that about 4 a.m.  The roosters crowing causes the their 3/4 Pit Bulls to howl, causing my cat to dig an escape path UNDER MY BUM.  HAH!  And you thought YOUR day was a doozy!  Daughter AGAIN has plasticized her interior stairway to stave off dirt, dust, mud, rain & general havoc.  Daughter's husband has AGAIN broken his toe on said plastic -- this time his left foot - 4th toe  (instead of his right foot - big toe 4 days ago).  He just got back from playing hockey. Looked like a bowlegged penguin sloshing across their (loose-term warning) lawn.  Better tighten the straps on the kayak hanging from my living room ceiling, 'cause that's my bed til they catch the lizard they frightened... all the way into MY bedroom.  Wonder where I put in for Hazard Pay in this chicken outfit? 12:58:25 AM    comment []

THE AMERICAN HERETIC'S DICTIONARY definitions: MASTERBAITER - a promotion from assistant baiter MASTIC - what happens when your mom sits on the gum you hid on her chair MATERNITY - mother's bed clothes  (mater - nightie... oh, you had it!) MATRICIDE - the act of shooting one's bed MATTRESSES - hair that looks like a woven floor covering MAXIMUM - a 20 lb flower MAYBE - a late-Spring insect MEACHING - I hurt all over MEALIES - everybody staring at the Thanksgiving turkey     (okay, I'll help - meal-eyes!  wasn't THAT obscure.  Just wait. MEANDER - she and I..... in Liverpool   (me-and-her) MEANESS - Elliott and I caught Al Capone  (me 'n Ness  ###  please allow for lateness of the hour   12:44:46 AM    comment []