Ted Ritzer: Bent & Twisted Humour

Fri, 01 Aug 2003 12:33:54 GMT

The weirdest thing you've seen all week. 12-week ultrasound video. (46 words) [dive into mark]

Rolling Stones July 30 Toronto Concert

Wed, 30 Jul 2003 13:55:03 GMT

for more information on the Rolling Stones July 30, 2003 concert in Toronto go to the following website:

http://www.iam.ca/rollingstones/map.php

also CBC Television, CBC Radio One and Radio-Canada will present "Toronto Rocks," a live broadcast from the event from 9 p.m. to 11 p.m. ET, live east / delays west.

http://www.cbc.ca/torontorocks/

Tue, 29 Jul 2003 17:42:40 GMT

manly. [Adam Curry: Adam Curry's Weblog]

Sat, 19 Jul 2003 18:05:11 GMT

Use a Better Browser (2003.07.19 11:01) [Meerkat: An Open Wire Service]

Fri, 18 Jul 2003 01:17:36 GMT

Mickey Mouse offs himself. Check out this AMAZING 1930 parodical comic strip in which Mickey Mouse tries to commit suicide! Link (Geocities site, will probably max out bandwidth soon) Discuss (Thanks, Gabe!)
[Boing Boing Blog]

Wed, 09 Jul 2003 16:23:46 GMT

Gotta Love Al Lowe's Humour Site

Been a while since any real bent & twisted sites, but Al Lowe of Leisure Suit Larry fame is well worth checking out at:

http://www.allowe.com/h-main.htm

I especially liked his Linux Switch piece at:

http://www.allowe.com/h-SwitchLinux.htm

Tue, 08 Jul 2003 00:54:41 GMT

Matrix, Subtitled. Someone has painstakingly captured over 125 screenshots from ~~Matrix: Reloaded~~ Matrix (the original) and adorned each of them with sometimes-hilarious geek parody subtitles.

Same stuff, two links:here or here, Discuss (Thanks, David)
[Boing Boing Blog]

Fri, 04 Jul 2003 16:40:52 GMT

Google gag. Go to google.com, type in "Weapons of Mass Destruction," and hit the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button for a good laff. Link Discuss (Thanks, Brad!) [Boing Boing Blog]

Fri, 04 Jul 2003 16:29:10 GMT

Silence of the Lambs fan-musical. An anonymous correspondant writes, "Two wayward film school grads (brothers) have translated Silence of the Lambs into a series of multiple-gut-bursting songs, including the rollicking number 'Are You About A Size 14?' and the introspective 'Put the Fucking Lotion in the Basket!' The whole album is downloadable as a self-promo." Link (Not Safe For Work) Discuss [Boing Boing Blog]

Fri, 04 Jul 2003 16:25:36 GMT

Modern/traditional Japanese scrolls. Patricio sez, "These are hilarious reinterpretations of Japanese engravings with the old time designs mixed with American pop culture elements." Link Discuss (Thanks, Patricio!)
[Boing Boing Blog]

Sat, 21 Jun 2003 20:48:15 GMT

Make your own comic strip.

[The Scobleizer Weblog]

Thu, 19 Jun 2003 05:10:17 GMT

TouchGraph's Google Browser a Hoot!

The whole six degrees of separation thing for the web! Check out ToughGraph's Google Browser to see who is linked to who on the net!

http://www.touchgraph.com/TGGoogleBrowser.html

Sat, 14 Jun 2003 15:22:42 GMT

martha stewart parody. Martha sings: "OK. I admit. You got me. I am a straight up criminal. I am a gangsta." [Adam Curry: Adam Curry's Weblog]

Sat, 14 Jun 2003 06:10:08 GMT

Excellent wacky Reebok TV ad: Belly Gonna Getcha. Michael says: "Excellent Reebok ad featuring a runner being chased by an enormous beer gut, with a KOMPRESSOR-like refrain going "BELLY GONNA GET YOU!!! BELLY GONNA GET YOU!!! BELLYBELLYBELLYBELLYBELLYBELLYBELLYBELLY GONNA GET YOU!!!" Link to streaming quicktime movie, Discuss
[Boing Boing Blog]

Sat, 14 Jun 2003 06:00:14 GMT

Around the world in 80 tokes. A marijuana connoisseur travels around the world seeking out the people who grow, smoke and worship weed -- and the people who try to stop them. [Salon Headlines]

Fri, 13 Jun 2003 01:53:41 GMT

Pet Prairie Dogs Suspected in U.S. Monkeypox Outbreak [Scientific American]

Fri, 13 Jun 2003 01:44:09 GMT

Honoring the mighty wingman. As a Dallas Stars fan, the best thing I enjoyed about this year's NHL Stanley Cup playoffs was the Coors Light "Wingman" commercial, which features a hilarious song about a guy enduring a bad date so that his buddy can "live the dream" with her friend.

A Google search reveals that the song is performed by Chris K of the band Goldspot, which is working on a full-length version of their ode to the wingman.

The Salted Wound weblog has lyrics and a discussion of the commercial that features a response from one of the writers, who answers one of its enduring mysteries -- why the mighty wingman's unpleasant date is so good-looking:

... when we cast the commercial we knew that we couldn't make her a dog (sexist/political reasons) So we gave her an unattractive personality. Besides, it would have been too easy (BudLight) to make her a real barker. i've been with plenty of "hot" chicks who I would have gnawed my arm off to get away from, because they were too dumb or salty.

There's also a AVI video of the commercial on Noah Blog. [Workbench]

Wed, 11 Jun 2003 14:19:34 GMT

Ben Hammersley calls the parody I posted from a friend "perhaps the funniest thing I've read all year."

My wife got her own dig in this morning. She said "that's not a parody, that's true!"

[Robert Scoble: Scobleizer Weblog]

Sat, 17 May 2003 05:27:44 GMT

Bizarre Honda Ad

dominoes with car do dads

http://home.attbi.com/~bernhard36/honda-ad.html

Sat, 17 May 2003 05:04:10 GMT

Folkloric history of those "Calvin peeing" car stickers. This site explores the evolution of those annoying and ubiquitous "Calvin peeing" stickers stuck on truck windows all over America. Explores the variations and corruptions, includes an excellent photo gallery.

My favorite part: the "generate-a-Calvin-peeing" engine, where you select who he hates (la Migra? The Navy? Ford trucks? "Fat chicks"?), whether it's the real Calvin or not, then generates a sticker for you on the fly. At left, the variant I probably see most often when I'm tooling down the freeway between L.A. and the border. OK, that and the "praying to Jesus" one, which actually does not involve peeing, rather, praying. Link, Discuss, (Thanks, Steve)
[Boing Boing Blog]

Wed, 14 May 2003 16:21:52 GMT

A woman friend of ours was pulled over for speeding. As the motorcycle officer walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Highway Patrolmen's Ball. He replied, "Highway Patrolmen don't have balls." There was a moment of silence while she smiled, and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back on his motorcycle and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car for several minutes.
Thank you D.

Source:

http://users.cuic.ca/iratam/andre/andre.html

Bless Good Design re RadioUserland

Mon, 12 May 2003 23:24:59 GMT

As I desribed in a previous post, my poor computer suffered from one too many MS security updates. The last one resulted in an unbootable doorstop for a computer.

So after a couple of weeks on downtime, I added a second hard drive, installed the operating system again on it, then made the old drive a slave. All with the hope that I could simply copy the RadioUserland program directory from the old drive, to the new one.

Well, so far it seems to be working perfectly , with no orphaned links, etc

so this will be my second post via the rescued Userland app and database.

Whew!!!! So far so good, re copying to the new drive, and loading the app.

Good job Radio Userland!!!!!!!!

Mon, 12 May 2003 23:16:34 GMT

I'm Back

after suffering from a MS security update that wrecked havoc with my computer, making it a glorified doorstop. Than one conference to prepare for and then a training workshop. I have finally, after installing a second hard drive, been able to resurrect my computer and my blog.

I hope, here goes with my first post in 2 wks or more.

SlushFactory=IndyComics?

Tue, 22 Apr 2003 00:07:14 GMT

Probably the guys at SlushFactory will be insulted, but honest I do not have a category for IndyComics, so have put this reference into my Bent & Twisted and NetMedia categories.

http://www.slushfactory.com/content/EpVpApEFuAmDIbsjhO.php

Mon, 21 Apr 2003 15:55:04 GMT

Pointed This Modern World. Today's This Modern World has some pointed observations contrasting domestic and foreign policy. Link Discuss
[Boing Boing Blog]

Low Cost AGMs-Electronic Meeting Software

Tue, 08 Apr 2003 03:30:04 GMT

Low Cost AGMs-Electronic Meeting Software

This article was my attempt at providing a backgrounder on how to save money by not travelling for AGMs by using the Internet to facilitate electronic meetings. Check the article out at:

http://blogs.salon.com/0001455/stories/2003/04/07/lowCostVirtualAgms.html

Sat, 05 Apr 2003 21:43:12 GMT

Photoshopped Fox News stills from history. Great Fark photoshopping contest-theme: historical moments as they would have been portrayed on Fox News. Link Discuss
[Boing Boing Blog]

Sat, 29 Mar 2003 00:26:30 GMT

Web Zen: An Ark of Critters. chipmunk
rabbit
bunny vs. bear
sheep
dogs
kittens
monkees
squirrels

Link Discuss (Thanks, Frank!)
[Boing Boing Blog]

Thu, 27 Mar 2003 01:53:54 GMT

This war brought to you by...
You are invading oil-rich Iraq, and much of the world thinks -- rightly or wrongly -- you are doing it because you want the country's oil. You deny this vehemently. Yet when your troops name their "forward operating bases," they choose the names Exxon and Shell.

I'm not making this up. Those are the names of the 101st Airborne's helicopter bases in Iraq, according to this New York Times report.

The Pentagon is apparently explaining that these camps are refueling bases, and that justifies the naming. I dunno. This may be true. But it doesn't help us. The Bush administration has been given lots of points for its handling of this war's PR, but this looks like a ludicrously stupid blunder.

[Scott Rosenberg's Links & Comment]

Wed, 26 Mar 2003 23:00:27 GMT

Freedom Humor.

The March 28 issue of Entertainment Weekly has the following "Open Letter to America" from the EW staff on page 11:

"As you may be aware, the Untied States has been experiencing some diplomatic tension with the leadership and citizenry of France. In a bold and courageous move, Congress recently rechristened some of the items in its cafeterias to reflect its growing dissatisfaction with the French people: French fries and French toast are now 'freedom fries' and 'freedom toast.' (Mmmm.) We at EW, in our constant quest to support our elected leaders - well, all leaders, really, elected or otherwise - have eagerly embraced this new approach of diplomacy by semantics.

Consequently, we would like to note that the movie The French Connection will henceforth be referred to in our pages as The Freedom Connection, and the Meryl Streep-Jeremy Irons drama The French Lieutenant's Woman will be referred to as The Free Lieutenant's Woman. The Meg Ryan-Kevin Kline romantic comedy French Kiss will be Free Kiss, a tongueless title we frankly like a little better. An American in Paris will be referred to as That Gene Kelly Movie With the Stupid Dream Sequence at the End....

Frenchie from American Idol will henceforth be known as 'The Unjustly Wronged....'

...The refrain from 'Lady Marmalade' will be rendered as 'Will you sleep with me tonight?' which will - we admit - make it a little more difficult to distinguish from other Christina Aguilera songs. We apologize for any confusion.

We will be suspending our relentless coverage of Edith Piaf until further notice...."

You can get a copy of the whole thing from your local library.

[The Shifted Librarian]

Tue, 25 Mar 2003 20:43:49 GMT

silly willy. And now for something completely silly. [Adam Curry: Adam Curry's Weblog]

Tue, 25 Mar 2003 13:09:30 GMT

Fake Stop Esso ads on London tube Danny sez, "St .... <a name="200042208"> Fake Stop Esso ads on London tube Danny sez, "Stop Esso is sneaking in fake advertising (or fake *poetry* advertising) into the London Tube:" <blockquote> Sing a song of Esso A packet full of lies and oily greasy dollars to help the climate fry When the wallet opened George Bush began to sing<br&a... [Meerkat: An Open Wire Service]

Tue, 25 Mar 2003 01:22:47 GMT

Wal-Mart Opens First 'All You Can Live' Township. Man, the guy who writes the satirical articles for FutureFeedForward keeps hittin' 'em out of the park. This week: "Wal-Mart Opens First 'All You Can Live' Township," a skiffy distopian vision that combines the creepiest elements of Fordlandia and EPCOT.

WALTON, OH--Officials of the Wal-Mart Corporation announced Thursday the opening of Walton Township, a company designed and managed subdivision on the outskirts of Cleveland, Ohio. Walton, the first of three Wal-Mart communities scheduled to open this year, introduces residents to the company's new 'all you can live' consumer goods subscription service. "Beyond its quality environment and top-notch municipal services, Walton represents our first serious foray into flat-fee provision of consumer products," explains Michael Elmoere, Wal-Mart VP of Intra-Regional Logistics and First Regent of Walton Township. "It's a 21st century horn-of-plenty, all for one no-fuss monthly fee."

Link Discuss [Boing Boing Blog]

Thu, 20 Mar 2003 13:28:06 GMT

Laughs Key to Terror Survival Kit. A wave of online parodies send up terror-attack readiness tutorials on the Department of Homeland Security's Ready.gov site. They give political satirists a voice and help ease the tension Americans feel on the brink of war with Iraq. By Mark Baard. [Wired News]

Thu, 20 Mar 2003 00:28:31 GMT

Corporate stupidity hall of shame. Business 2.0's published its annual roundup of the 101 Dumbest Moments in Business.

Panic in the heartland, part 1: The crisis begins.
Outside a Wal-Mart (WMT) in the small town of Geneseo, Ill., a 73-year-old woman buys a newspaper and suddenly finds herself trapped when the door of the news rack slips closed and catches her coat. Unable to wriggle out, she solicits a bystander to enter the Wal-Mart and ask for help. A Wal-Mart employee comes out to explain that she can't assist, citing a policy against tampering with the news rack.
Panic in the heartland, part 2: The tense negotiation.
After going back inside for a moment, the Wal-Mart employee comes out and tells the trapped woman that she'll call the newspaper and have a representative come to release her. The woman suggests an alternative solution: Somebody could simply put two quarters in the machine and open the damn door. The Wal-Mart employee rejects this out of hand, explaining that the store can't pay refunds for the news rack.
Panic in the heartland, part 3: The sweet taste of liberation.
Eventually the employee relents and puts two quarters in the machine. Later the liberated woman's daughter visits the store and gives her a $5 bill to be used strictly to finance future releases. A Wal-Mart corporate spokesperson apologizes for the incident, saying, "This is not how we do business."

Link Discuss [Boing Boing Blog]

Thu, 20 Mar 2003 00:25:10 GMT

wacky "Mighty Midols desktop app" combats "forces of Monsteruation". Alloy.com is running a bizarre online promotion for anti-PMS meds:

What is THE MIGHTY MIDOLS MENSTRUAL 'MINDER (M4)? The M4 is a fun and easy desktop application that allows you to interact with the Mighty Midols! A password protected interface lets you input your cycle information to be sure to never be caught off guard by Monsteruation again. Marissa, Mimi and Maya will battle the forces of Monsteruation and keep your computer desktop symptom free.

Link, Discuss, (Thanks, Chris!)
[Boing Boing Blog]

Thu, 20 Mar 2003 00:24:11 GMT

Two scoops of lust please, mit chocolate sprinkles. Following up on Cory's earlier post on right-wing frozen desserts: uproar in Germany over a line of ice cream flavors named after the seven deadly sins. Link, Discuss [Boing Boing Blog]

Sat, 15 Mar 2003 22:15:09 GMT

Airport luggage inspectors policing thoughtcrime. A traveller flying to San Diego from Seattle found his luggage had been opened by the Federal Transport Security Authority, who had left behind a note telling him so, on which was scrawled "DONT APPRECIATE YOUR ANTI-AMERICAN ATTITUDE" -- a reference to the "No Iraq War" signs he'd picked up in a shop in Seattle.

So, the Feds are not only inspecting our bags -- and invading our privacy -- to ensure that they are bomb-free; they're now taking it upon themselves to chastise us for our political beliefs? What the hell does keeping bombs off airplanes have to do with winkling out protest signs?

Nothing like a little thoughtcrime policing to undermine the entire mission and credibility of the TSA. Of course, the TSA is maintaining that this wasn't the work of an inspector -- rather, someone at the airport cut the security-seal left behind by the inspector, defaced the "You have been inspected" card, and replaced the seal, all without being caught by the TSA itself (wow, that gives me a lot of confidence in the TSA's ability to secure the nation's airports!).

Nico Melendez, western regional spokesman for the TSA, said the note in Goldberg's luggage will be investigated, but he said there's no proof that a TSA employee wrote it. "It's a leap to say it was a TSA screener," Melendez said.
But Goldberg said, "It seems a little far-fetched to think people are running around the airport writing messages on TSA literature and slipping them into people's bags."

Link Discuss (via Interesting People)
[Boing Boing Blog]

Sat, 15 Mar 2003 22:12:57 GMT

A Canadian apology to Americans. From the Canadian comedy show "This Hour Has 22 Minutes," an hilarious apology on behalf of Canadians to our US neighbors.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own.
I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours.
I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.

RealVideo Stream Link Discuss (Thanks, Patrick!) [Boing Boing Blog]

Mon, 10 Mar 2003 02:57:52 GMT

Parody web site threatened by US vice president. The Inquirer - AN AMERICAN WEB SITE that put a red nose on vice president Dick Cheney's wife has been threatened with legal action by lawyers representing the politician.
Big Brother makes his presence felt New Zealand Herald
The Reliable Source Washington Post
The Daily Texan - The Scotsman - International Herald Tribune - TechCentral - and 7 related » [Google Technology News]

Fri, 07 Mar 2003 01:07:38 GMT

Ganguro gallery. Ganguro are Japanese girls who try to look black. Here's a page of ganguro girl pics. Links Discuss
[Boing Boing Blog]

Copernic+Newzcrawler=No Recycling,No Mags & No Newspapers

Wed, 05 Mar 2003 01:03:11 GMT

Copernic+Newzcrawler=No Recycling, No Mags & No Newspapers

For years now I have refused to fork out hard cash for computer magazines, and rely on info via the Internet. The only thing I have missed out on by doing this is 50 pages of advertising for each computer mag. Other than that no real negative impact.

Today this approach extended to cutting off delivery of my local newspaper. Why cause more trees to die!

My recipe to replace 20th century paper based news is to combine the use of news oriented search engines and software that are preconfingured in an application called Copernic.

In addtion I use Newzcrawler to check the latest news from around the world. Even cooler Newzcrawler has the ability to post to my weblog.

So if you like me want to save some trees, and get more balanced, and nation neutral approach to news, try this approach.

Copernic

http://www.copernic.com

Newzcrawler

http://www.newzcrawler.com/

Together they are a great team for global nation neutral news!

MACES-Maybe Apple Ceases Existing Soon

Sat, 01 Mar 2003 15:20:09 GMT

MACES-Maybe Apple Ceases Existing Soon

Sort of a long the lines of Upside and Red Herring.

The other title I was considering was Apple's Long Slow Death Spiral March.

I was an engergetic Mac user from 85-96. In 1984 I remember following all the press on the Apple Lisa, and checking it out in the local showroom at Galactica Computers. Hell, I still have two Lisas gathering dust in the basement, as collectors items. In the heady days of the mid 80s, Apple ruled the day with a real live innovations they stole from Xerox, and others. No one could have touched them if they were not so greedy, and if they had opened their truly great operating system to Intel processors. But that didn't happen did it? Instead Apple gouged their loyal customers with operating system upgrade costs and the like, so that even I, a diehard Mac user, turned my back on them in 96 in disgust. There were simply not enough reasons to stay using them, and the upgrade path was more expensive than Wintel boxes, and there was not that much difference in the applications anymore. Office was Office, whether you ran a Mac or Intel box, and with Intel dominating the work environment who needed the conversion hassle.

Today, I checked out Apple's web site, genuinely hoping for some sign of intelligent life, some truly killer application! I found none, and the only thing of interest to me was the Broadcast streaming server. Apple's progression from the only great computer on the planet, to also ran is so sad. I had hoped that the experience Jobs gained with NeXT would inspire great things in the new BSD based X. But nothing truly great has evolved. Darwin seemed like such a winner in theory, but in practice Linux is kicking their ass on the server side, and of course Windows has all but killed them on the desktop side. Other than a small group of print professionals and film wantabees I do not see a lot of traction for Apple in the market.

And the switch campaign, please! With Lindows, and Walmart delivering a $300 desktop and a $800 laptop, the only companies that should be using the switch campaign are running Linux! The weird thing is the company that should be worried is Microsoft, with their latest greedy approach to licensing, and draconian measures, the switch to Linux campaign will surely move from the servers of the world to the desktop!

Sometime this year Linux will eclipse Apple in market share, and with this milestone, the wind is shifting for Linux on the desktop!

Lookout Redmond, the Penguin has teeth! Nasty bird!

Duct Tape Mania-2003 Year of Duct Tape

Fri, 28 Feb 2003 00:50:05 GMT

United Airlines Apparently May Be Fined For Duct Taped Wings

Hope the air force, does not resort to this in combat

http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/1819179/detail.html

The Duct Tape Guys

So if you have all this duct tape lying around unused till the next war, try some creative uses of it, check out the following:

Wall taping gallery at:

http://www.octanecreative.com/ducttape/walltapings/index.html

Duct Tape High Fashion

http://www.octanecreative.com/ducttape/fashion.html

http://www.ducttapefashion.com/

Duct Tape Hats

http://www.ducttapefashion.com/products/prod04.htm

2003 Official Year of Duct Tape

http://www.octanecreative.com/ducttape/new_intro/index.html

CNN Article

http://www.cnn.com/2003/US/02/11/emergency.supplies/index.html

Duct Tape Flash Animations & Much More

http://www.ducktapeclub.com/

Ridge Defends Duct Tape Tip

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/nationworld/chi-0302140308feb14,0,6113119.story?coll=chi-news-hed

A Duct Tape How To From Canada

They care more about money than airborne killer gases, etc!

http://international.3m.com/intl/CA/english/centres/home_leisure/duct_tape/dt_wallet.html

Sun, 23 Feb 2003 20:50:02 GMT

Joey deVilla, the accordian guy, exposes a new sexy thing going on in Japan. You won't believe your eyes, and you'd be right not to. [Scripting News]

Thu, 20 Feb 2003 04:08:40 GMT

10K4awife.com

Have money, need wife

A pretty classic situation: a successful carreer, solid bank account, and looking for love. Rod Barnbett, facing the classic problem, has set up the website 10k4awife.com.

If you mentally decoded that URL correctly, you get the gist: He's paying $10,000 for whoever introduces him to a woman that he proposes to. The rest of the site is mostly an explanation that he's really a normal guy, nothing wrong with him, and defending the idea of offering cash to anyone introducing him to proper wife material.

Source: Secular Blasphemy at:

http://blogs.salon.com/0001561/

Wed, 19 Feb 2003 03:13:28 GMT

Problem with a Sex Maniac Letter to Dr Ruth

Sex problems, sex problems, sex problems

Possibly a computer would fix this legibility problem

http://www.toilet-humor.org/images/dr_ruth.jpg

Wed, 19 Feb 2003 03:10:35 GMT

Eye Test for Sheep

when I first looked at this I really did think it was sheep!

Yikes! Do I need glasses!

http://www.toilet-humor.org/images/butt_park.jpg

Wed, 19 Feb 2003 02:56:44 GMT

Birds on a Wire

Birds on a wire captures the danger all birds undergo in trying to surive in built up areas.

If you are the slightest bit squemish or are under 12, do not visit birds on a wire!

http://www.toilet-humor.org/birds.html

Wed, 19 Feb 2003 02:50:58 GMT

World's Most Dangerous Organism

The Great White Female!

Readers are warned of the very shocking and disturbing nature of this wildlife species whose shocking behavior was captured on videotape!

Because of the brutal nature of this clip children under 12 are not recommended to view it!

http://www.toilet-humor.org/cartoon.html