One columnist's amusing look at cycling as a sport.

It's just that -- let's face it -- bicycling isn't a sport. Ever heard of a Fantasy Bicycle League? No, you haven't. If the season doesn't start with a bunch of guys gathering around a keg and holding a draft, it isn't a real sport. Although bicycling does have one thing in common with the upcoming SI swimsuit issue: The swimsuit models shave their legs, as do bicycle racers, to cut down on wind resistance.

At least that's their story. But I don't believe them. You'd have to be hairier than the Abominable Snowman to get slowed down on a bicycle by your own hair.

Actually, we shave our legs to piss off guys like you! There is no other reason.

Besides, this is America, where it's not considered a real sport unless it comes with a beer ad. When famous bicycle riders start appearing in Coors commercials in a hot tub next to "the Twins," I'll know bicycling has become a sport. Now, I've got to go shave my legs.

We may not have a beer commercial, but we have a Norelco commercial! "What's that?" "Guuu???!!!"

Actually a very funny piece. Lance Amstrong, Sports Illustrated's Sportsman of the Year, is probably laughing his ass off.

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