 
Above: Matt Drudge (left), who wants to be a real journalist when he grows up, and former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean (right), who wants to be president when he grows up, are among the assholes seeking personal gain by attacking Democratic presidential front-runner John Kerry, whose success threatens them. Below: Right-wing nutcases are distributing this photo of Jane Fonda and Kerry (visible directly above Fonda's head) at an anti-Vietnam War gathering in Pennsylvania in 1970. "Hanoi Jane" made her controversial visit to Vietnam two years after this photo was taken, but facts have never stopped the right-wingers, who are deceptively using the photo to falsely associate Kerry with Fonda's trip to Vietnam, when the truth is that the two were just photographed at the same event.
The sharks are circling
Nothing breeds attack like success.
Massachusetts Sen. John Kerry, who so far has won 12 of the 14 states that have held primaries and caucuses for the Democratic presidential nomination, is discovering that now.
Not only is mud predictably being slung at Kerry by the right-wing wackos (that's redundant), such as Matt Drudge, Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter, but it's also being slung by Holier-Democrat-Than-Thou Howard "I Couldn't Win a State If My Life Depended on It but I'll Try to Take the Front-runner Down With Me" Dean.
Certainly I believe that Kerry should be vetted. Neither Kerry not any of his supporters, to my knowledge, has ever suggested that Kerry be crowned already, that the process be expedited or in any way altered to Kerry's advantage. (The same can't be said of the Dean camp.) Kerry has stated publicly that he respects the process of selecting the Democratic presidential nominee -- unlike the cocky sore loser Dean, who openly, publicly, repeatedly questions the judgment of the voters who have selected Kerry over him by a wide margin.
Dean says the voters should have picked John Edwards over Kerry. (What a shock; Dean most likely just wants to be Edward's running mate, but Edwards would be foolish to pick Dean, whose unfavorable ratings in polls are consistently considerable, in the unlikely event that Edwards gets the nomination.)
"My fear is that [Kerry] actually won't be the strongest Democratic candidate," Dean whined to CBS. That's funny, because that's what the plurality of voters in all 14 states that have held primaries and caucuses so far -- not one of which Dean has won -- think of Dean, who is lucky to come in third place in most states.
Crybaby Dean also said that a Kerry-vs.-Bush contest in November would mean "that once again we may have to settle for the lesser of two evils." Funny, because that's what I think of a Dean-vs.-Bush contest: A choice is between a dumbfuck warmonger and a powder keg, a human volcano that can blow at any time.
Is Kerry ideologically perfect? No. As I've written before, Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich -- who is the only candidate who actually is what Howard Dean falsely claims to be -- is my personal favorite where ideology is concerned, but Kerry is my second-favorite and he can beat Bush. Election 2004 is no time for smug ideological purism; it's imperative that Bush II is removed from the White House before he can cause even more damage, and the plurality of voters in 14 states who have voted thus far agree with me that Kerry is the candidate who is most able to accomplish that mission.
Many Americans have a juvenile tendency to think that their president is infallible, like the pope, or should be. (Americans have given "President" Bush the benefit of the doubt for more than three years, and they've also been in denial about the fact that they have a crooked, dumbfuck "president," but the Bush regime's facade is showing more and more cracks.) I have no such illusions. Kerry is a man, not a saint.
He does seem to be guilty of playing the Washington money game the way it's played, of doing as Romans do while in Rome.
The Green Party part of me that voted for Ralph Nader in 2000 (which was safe to do here in California, because there was no way that Al Gore was going to lose California's electoral votes to Bush because of Nader's support) is disappointed that Kerry does appear to be at least a little hypocritical in pledging to fight "special interests" while, press reports indicate, Kerry has played the Washington game just like everyone else in Washington.
The more pragmatic, less quixotic part of me -- and the more forgiving part of me -- wonders how in the hell anyone could survive in Washington without playing the game. I mean, don't you have to play the game to remain in the game? Campaigns are incredibly expensive, and when your opponents are using every loophole available to them, do you not have to do the same to remain competitive?
So while I don't fault Kerry for doing what one has to do to survive in Washington, as long as it's legal, I do fault him for making fighting "special interests" a central campaign claim when apparently he has taken questionable money himself.
Most damaging of all to Kerry, perhaps, would be a sex scandal.
The events of the past decade have shown us that you will be impeached for having lied about having received a blow job in the Oval Office, but if you lie about the reason for invading and occupying a sovereign nation -- and if your lie results in the pointless deaths of thousands of Iraqis, Americans and others -- you won't get so much as a slap on the hand. (And we Americans wonder why the rest of the world mocks us; as Jesus put it, we strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.)
A Kerry sex scandal might be looming. Slime specialist Matt Drudge reports today (this is a direct cut-and-paste):
XXXXX DRUDGE REPORT XXXXX THU FEB 12, 2004 11:45:28 ET XXXXX
CAMPAIGN DRAMA ROCKS DEMOCRATS: KERRY FIGHTS OFF MEDIA PROBE OF RECENT ALLEGED INFIDELITY, RIVALS PREDICT RUIN
**World Exclusive**
**Must Credit the DRUDGE REPORT**
A frantic behind-the-scenes drama is unfolding around Sen. John Kerry and his quest to lockup the Democratic nomination for president, the DRUDGE REPORT can reveal.
Intrigue surrounds a woman who recently fled the country, reportedly at the prodding of Kerry, the DRUDGE REPORT has learned.
A serious investigation of the woman and the nature of her relationship with Sen. John Kerry has been underway at TIME magazine, ABC NEWS, the WASHINGTON POST, THE HILL and the ASSOCIATED PRESS, where the woman in question once worked.
MORE
A close friend of the woman first approached a reporter late last year claiming fantastic stories -- stories that now threaten to turn the race for the presidency on its head!
In an off-the-record conversation with a dozen reporters earlier this week, General Wesley Clark plainly stated: "Kerry will implode over an intern issue." [Three reporters in attendance confirm Clark made the startling comments.]
The Kerry commotion is why Howard Dean has turned increasingly aggressive against Kerry in recent days, and is the key reason why Dean reversed his decision to drop out of the race after Wisconsin, top campaign sources tell the DRUDGE REPORT.
Of course, I'll wait to see what the real media have to say about this issue -- the real media doesn't repeat rumor and innuendo. (I'm not the real media, either, of course, so I can repeat Drudge's sludge.)
Already at least one part of Drudge's report is highly dubious. Drudge reports that "In an off-the-record conversation with a dozen reporters earlier this week, General Wesley Clark plainly stated: 'Kerry will implode over an intern issue.' [Three reporters in attendance confirm Clark made the startling comments.]"
Yet the reputable Reuters and Associated Press report today that Clark, who dropped out of the presidential contest after he came in third place in both Tennessee and Virginia (behind No. 1 Kerry and No. 2 Edwards) on Tuesday, is endorsing and will campaign for Kerry. It's highly unlikely that Clark would endorse and campaign for Kerry if he believes that "Kerry will implode over an intern issue."
The fact that Drudge seems to never name the sources of his juicy information, such as those supposed "three reporters in attendance," is telling. Drudge can easily fabricate "anonymous sources" and hide behind the claim that he is protecting his sources.
If Drudge indeed has some of his facts straight and a Kerry sex scandal ensues, we'd have to see how it plays out. After the drawn-out, expensive, nationally degrading, Republican- and Clinton-hater-orchestrated Monica Lewinsky affair, are Americans sick and tired of political sex scandals, as I suspect? Would a corroborated Kerry sex scandal bring Kerry down or would the public more or less ignore it?
My personal feeling is that if any politician cheats on his or her spouse, it's between the politician and his or her spouse and the matter is not for public debate. (Yes, I would feel that way even if it were brought to light that Howard Dean or George W. Bush has had an extramarital affair.) People perpetuate political sex scandals not to benefit the people in any way, but usually to bring attention to themselves (because they're obviously not getting enough attention at home) by trying to tear down a politician.
Another attack on Kerry, I surmise, is only going to play among the members of the far right, who are too far gone and who wouldn't vote for Kerry in a million years anyway. That attack is that Kerry is a commie-lover because after he fought in the Vietnam War, the decorated veteran came out against the war in the early 1970s. These warmongers -- many of them "chickenhawks" ("chickenhawks" are warhawks, such as George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Richard Perle, who would never put themselves in bullet's way) -- especially like to associate Kerry with "Hanoi Jane" Fonda.
This association is complete and utter bullshit, as Fonda says herself in The Los Angeles Times today:
While many Americans know her as an Oscar-winning actress and onetime queen of aerobics videos, some Republicans hope voters will also remember Jane Fonda for a more controversial association: "Hanoi Jane."
A 1970 photograph showing Fonda and Democratic presidential candidate John F. Kerry has surfaced on the Internet and TV news programs, fueling speculation that the GOP may try to make Kerry's anti-Vietnam War record an election issue by linking him with a former antiwar activist still reviled by many veterans.
The photo, taken at an antiwar rally in Pennsylvania where Kerry and Fonda gave speeches critical of America's military escalation in Vietnam, was published Wednesday in the Washington Times newspaper and later shown on television. The snapshot, which shows Kerry and Fonda sitting in a large crowd several feet apart, is among several being circulated among Vietnam veterans.
Kerry, a senator from Massachusetts, received numerous medals for his service as a Navy patrol boat commander in Vietnam. But he returned home a disgruntled 27-year-old serviceman, and became a leading voice in the protest group Vietnam Veterans Against the War.
Fonda's visit to Hanoi in 1972 to meet with North Vietnamese officials -- during which she criticized the U.S. government over Hanoi radio -- earned her the lasting scorn of many Vietnam veterans, who dubbed her "Hanoi Jane."
The daughter of venerable actor Henry Fonda starred in such films as "Klute," "Coming Home" and "The China Syndrome." She married Tom Hayden, an antiwar leader and later a California lawmaker, and made millions as a pioneer in the personal fitness craze of the 1980s. She divorced Hayden, then married billionaire Ted Turner. She and Turner were later divorced.
Many Vietnam veterans remember her for only one searing image: Dressed in Viet Cong combat fatigues and mugging for cameras while thousands of U.S. soldiers were fighting in Vietnam.
The photo of Fonda and Kerry was taken two years before Fonda's Hanoi trip.
The actress, who has apologized for her actions, told CNN on Wednesday that the effort to discredit Kerry by an association with her was part of "the big lie."
"Any attempt to link Kerry to me and make him look bad with that connection is completely false. We were at a rally for veterans at the same time. I don't even think we shook hands," Fonda said of the 1970 photograph.
"This was an organization of men who risked their lives in Vietnam, who considered themselves totally patriotic," she said, referring to Vietnam Veterans Against the War.
"So anyone who slams that organization and slams Kerry for being part of it is doing an injustice to veterans. How can you impugn, how can you even suggest, that anyone like Kerry or any of these veterans were not patriotic? He was a hero there." [Emphasis mine]
John Hurley, national director of veterans affairs for the Kerry campaign, said he had not seen the photo but downplayed its significance.
"John Kerry's war record speaks for itself," Hurley said. "His war service earned him the right to speak out against what he thought was an immoral war. A lot of very considerable people opposed that war. John Kerry was one of them."
Douglas Brinkley, author of Tour of Duty, a chronicle of Kerry's Vietnam experiences, said Wednesday that several photos circulating on the Internet were taken before Fonda visited North Vietnam, and that the two were not even acquaintances.
Still, he said, the photos are being used by conservatives to politically wound Kerry and suggest that he might be soft on communism.
"It's guilt by association," Brinkley said. " 'Hanoi Jane' is a lightning rod among many veterans. Even today, many remain angry about her trip to Vietnam. But John Kerry has always spoken out that he thought that trip was the wrong thing to do." [Emphasis mine]
For years, Fonda endured a negative public image because of her days as a political activist in the 1970s....
The shark attacks will continue. So far, Kerry seems to be fairly well protected by a sharkproof suit. I have little doubt that on Tuesday Kerry will take Wisconsin, which could knock either Dean or Edwards (or both) out of the race. "Super Tuesday" on March 2 should finish Edwards off if he's still in the race through then, and if Dean is still hanging on after what is almost sure to be even more losses on March 2, it will be proof positive that he's a fucking egomaniacal nutcase.
For my part, I'll continue to whack the sharks on the nose, as they advise you to do when a shark attacks.
Update (Friday, Feb. 13): Drudge gives this "update" of his "scoop" (this is another direct cut-and-paste):
XXXXX DRUDGE REPORT XXXXX THU FEB 12, 2004 20:01:49 ET XXXXX
OUT OF AFRICA: KERRY PREPARES RESPONSE TO MEDIA PROBE OF RELATIONSHIP
**Exclusive**
Democratic presidential frontrunner John Kerry is planning a response to a DRUDGE REPORT exclusive which first revealed the frantic behind-the-scenes drama surrounding a woman who recently fled the country, reportedly at the prodding of Kerry!
The nature and details of a claimed two-year relationship, beginning in the Spring of 2001, between a young woman and Kerry is at the center of serious investigations at several media outlets.
After being approached by a top news producer, the woman fled to Africa, where she remains, the DRUDGE REPORT can reveal.
Unlike the Monica Lewinsky drama, which first played out publicly in this space, with audio tapes, cigar and a dress, the Kerry situation has posed a challenge to reporters investigating the claims.
"There is no lawsuit testimony this time [like Clinton with Paula Jones]," a top source said Thursday night. "It is hard to prove."
A close friend of the woman first approached a reporter late last year claiming fantastic stories -- stories that now threaten to turn the race for the presidency on its head.
Kerry is scheduled to appear on IMUS IN THE MORNING on Friday. Later he is scheduled to join General Wesley Clark, who, in an off-the-record conversation with a dozen reporters earlier this week, plainly stated: "Kerry will implode over an intern issue."
Reporters who witnessed Clark making the stunning comments marvel at the General's reluctance to later confirm they were spoken -- only to later endorse Kerry for the nomination!
Drudge acknowledges, in his responsibility-evading way, my point that it sure is odd that Clark would say that Kerry was about to "implode" and then endorse him and campaign for him. Note that Drudge still doesn't name his alleged sources and that he creams his jeans over the prospect of another Lewinksy-like sex scandal, which I doubt we'll see. (Even if he did have an affair, Kerry isn't president, and again, I doubt that the American people are in the mood for another Lewinsky-like scandal. The right wing can't have another good sex scandal against a popular Democrat unless they get minimal popular support, and I don't think they can get it this time.)
Salon's Joe Conason examines the Drudge sludge in more detail. I suggest you read his analysis if you want more on this topic. I'm kinda sick of writing about Drudge's slimy allegations, which so far not one respectable U.S. media outlet has reported.
Update (Friday, Feb. 13): Drudge posted another "update" on the supposed Kerry sex scandal today. Drudge tells us nothing new, other than that Kerry today denied the allegations on a radio talk show.
Drudge is a shitty writer. Has anyone told him that? I mean, here's an example cut and pasted from the aforementioned "update": "Democratic presidential frontrunner John Kerry told IMUS IN THE MORNING 'there is nothing to report' after a DRUDGE REPORT exclusive revealed the frantic behind-the-scenes drama surrounding a woman who recently fled the country, reportedly at the prodding of Kerry!"
Who writes melodramatic phrases like "frantic behind-the-scenes drama" and then ends the sentence with an exclamation point? What responsible journalist uses the weasel word "reportedly"?
My fellow Salon blogger Shane's problem with Drudge is that Drudge is, in Shane's words, "a semi-closeted homosexual." While there's probably nothing I hate more in the universe than a gay right-wing attack dog, my biggest problem with Drudge, perhaps, is that he's a shitty writer.
Anyway, so far I've only seen one, rather vague mention of Drudge's sludge in the reputable online media, this paragraph in an Associated Press story about Kerry's recent campaign activities:
The Democratic front-runner made his campaign rounds while repeatedly denying having had an extramarital affair. "I just deny it categorically. It's rumor. It's untrue. And that's the last time I intend to" respond to questions about it, he told reporters who asked about reports on an Internet site.
So much for "frantic behind-the-scenes drama." The AP doesn't even report that it is on Drudge's Web site that the slimy, unsubstantiated allegations, backed up by nameless supposed sources, appear. They probably -- wisely -- don't want to encourage Drudge's yellow "journalism."
9:35:15 PM 
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