Sunday, March 11, 2007

Just please please please don't tell me that he used to be a gay porn star: A couple of obscure supposed documentary filmmakers have alleged that filmmaker Michael Moore did meet with then-General Motors CEO Roger Smith -- twice -- but essentially lied about it in his seminal 1989 documentary "Roger & Me." Moore looks awfully skinny on the DVD cover -- is that a another dirty liberal lie, too? Did Moore meet Roger? Repugniconservatives are agog -- as I would be, too, if I were one of them (thank Goddess I'm not) -- over a couple of obscure supposed documentary filmmakers' allegation that liberal god Michael Moore actually met with former General Motors CEO Roger Smith but lied about it, in effect, in his seminal documentary "Roger & Me," which chronicles what happened to Moore's hometown of Flint, Mich., when GM decided to pull out of the town.  Reports The Associated Press: Austin, Texas -- As documentary filmmakers, Debbie Melnyk and Rick Caine looked up to Michael Moore. Then they tried to do a documentary of their own about him -- and ran into the same sort of resistance Moore himself famously faces in his own films. The result is "Manufacturing Dissent," which turns the camera on the confrontational documentarian and examines some of his methods. Among their revelations in the movie, which had its world premiere [last] night at the South by Southwest film festival [in Austin]: That Moore actually did speak with then-General Motors chairman Roger Smith, the evasive subject of his 1989 debut "Roger & Me," but chose to withhold that footage from the final cut. The husband-and-wife directors spent over two years making the movie, which follows Moore on his college tour promoting 2004's "Fahrenheit 9/11." The film shows Melnyk repeatedly approaching Moore for an interview and being rejected; members of Moore's team also kick the couple out of the audience at one of his speeches, saying they weren't allowed to be shooting there. At their own premiere [last] night, the Toronto-based filmmakers expected pro-Moore plants in the audience heckling or trying to otherwise sabotage the screening, but it turned out to be a tame affair. [Gee, so sorry to disappoint! Wingnuts are much better at organizing to disrupt public events than are we disheveled moonbats.] "It went really well," Melnyk said. "People really liked the film and laughed at the right spots and got the movie [again, the film was shown in Texas] and we're really happy about it." Moore hasn't commented publicly on "Manufacturing Dissent" and Melnyk thinks he never will. He also hasn't responded to several calls and e-mails from The Associated Press. "There's no point for Michael to respond to the film because then it gives it publicity," she said. "(President) Bush didn't respond to 'Fahrenheit 9/11,' and there's a reason for that," Caine added. The two were and still are fans of all his movies -- including the polarizing "Fahrenheit 9/11," which grossed over $119 million and won the Palme d'Or at the Cannes Film Festival -- and initially wanted to do a biography on him. They traveled to his childhood home of Davison, Mich., visited his high school and traced his early days in politics and journalism. "The fact that he made documentaries entertaining was extremely influential and got all kinds of people out to see them," said Melnyk, whose previous films with Caine include 1998's "Junket Whore." "Let's face it, he made documentaries popular and that is great for all documentary filmmakers." "All of these films -- 'Super Size Me,' 'An Inconvenient Truth' -- we've all been riding in his wake," said Caine. ["We"? When was Caine or Melnyk ever nominated for an Academy Award? Not only do their films never even make it to theaters, that I can tell, but DVDs of their films aren't even available on amazon.com, for fuck's sake.] "There's a nonfiction film revolution going on and we're all beneficiaries of that. For that point alone, he's worth celebrating." But after four months of unsuccessfully trying to sit down with Moore for an on-camera interview, they realized they needed to approach the subject from a different angle. They began looking at the process Moore employs in his films, and the deeper they dug, the more they began to question him. The fact that Moore spoke with Smith, including a lengthy question-and-answer exchange during a May 1987 GM shareholders meeting, first was reported in a Premiere magazine article three years later. Transcripts of the discussion had been leaked to the magazine, and a clip of the meeting appeared in "Manufacturing Dissent." Moore also reportedly interviewed Smith on camera in January 1988 at the Waldorf Astoria hotel in New York. Since then, in the years since "Roger & Me" put Moore on the map, those details seem to have been suppressed and forgotten. "It was shocking, because to me that was the whole premise of 'Roger & Me,'" Melnyk said. She and Caine also had trouble finding people to talk on camera about Moore, partly because potential interview subjects assumed they were creating a right-wing attack piece; as self-proclaimed left-wingers, they weren't. [Um, unless this AP writer is telefuckingpathic, how can she know what was in Caine's and Melynk's heads? Note to The Associated Press: You need to EDIT your writers' stories. Your writers can report what people have said, but they cannot report what actually is in people's heads. This "news" story is chock full of such telepathic assertions.] Despite what they've learned, the directors still appreciate Moore. "We're a bit disappointed and disillusioned with Michael," Melnyk said, "but we are still very grateful to him for putting documentaries out there in a major way that people can go to a DVD store and they're right up there alongside dramatic features." As you have guessed, I am highly skeptical about Melynk's and Caine's allegations against Moore. First of all, a check of the Internet Movie Database shows that "Junket Whore," which, as I said, isn't even available for purchase on amazon.com because it's so fucking great, gets a whopping 3.8 stars out of 10. Another unavailable-on-DVD-from-amazon.com movie of theirs, "The Frank Truth," does even worse, with only 3 stars out of 10. "Citizen Black" does better, with a whole 6.7 stars out of 10 -- but you can't get it on DVD from amazon.com, either, and amazon.com has fucking everything, even sex toys (I know). So please understand why I'm so skeptical that "Manufacturing Dissent" is any better than the other "documentaries" about Michael Moore, such as "Fahrenhype 9/11" and "Michael Moore Hates America" (no, I'm not making that title up), which actually are available on amazon.com (but for some reason never made it to a theater near me). I'm skeptical that Melnyk and Caine are "left-wingers" for a few reasons, including the fact that an anti-Moore movie made by supposed left-wingers probably would do better than would yet another uber-lame anti-Moore movie made by right-wingers -- it would behoove the filmmakers financially to call themselves left-wingers -- and the fact that Caine and Melnyk debuted "Manufacturing Dissent" in Austin, Texas -- in Bushland, where any anti-Moore film is going to do well, especially after the wild success of the Bush-damning "Fahrenheit 9/11," which remains the top-grossing documentary of all time. If it turns out that Melnyk and Caine are correct that Michael Moore did indeed interview Roger Smith before "Roger & Me" came out in 1989, well, then, yes, Houston, we have a problem. But before I deem Moore definitively innocent or guilty, I would like to hear what Moore has to say (recognizing that it's his fucking right to choose to refuse to say anything at all), I'd have to watch "Roger & Me" again, and I'd have to watch "Manufacturing Dissent" -- which I'll probably never be able to watch, as I doubt that it will ever even come out on DVD. That Premiere magazine reported something and that Caine and Melnyk reported what Premiere said -- well, that's just not enough for me to burn my Michael Moore books and DVDs just yet. And it's Michael Moore's fucking choice whether to be interviewed or not for someone's film and whether or not to allow any of his speeches to be electronically recorded, so I won't take his refusal to be interviewed for "Manufacturing Dissent" or to allow his speeches to be electronically recorded as evidence of any guilt. And because he's wildly popular and successful, having made the world's highest-grossing documentary film ever and having won an Academy Award for Best Documentary Feature for "Bowling for Columbine," why in the fuck should Moore help someone else make money by association with his name and his fame? Even if Michael Moore is guilty as charged, is Michael Moore really our nation's most pressing issue? Why didn't Caine and Melnyk make a documentary called "Manufacturing War"? Oh, yeah -- because Michael Moore already covered that topic thoroughly in "Fahrenheit 9/11." And let's talk about that interesting title of theirs, "Manufacturing Dissent." Well, I highly doubt that the people of Flint, Mich., were happy about GM's pullout that destroyed their town. So Moore probably wasn't manufacturing that dissent. In "Bowling for Columbine," Moore never claimed that he held a majority opinion, that I recall, and "Bowling for Columbine" wasn't about dissent; it was about gun nuts -- although I'm guessing that Moore didn't manufacture the dissent of the victims of gun violence who appear in "Bowling for Columbine," including two students from Columbine High School.* And if Moore didn't have a clear majority of Americans on his side when "Fahrenheit 9/11" came out in 2004, a clear majority of Americans sure oppose the Vietraq War now. Here are some results from recent polls on the Vietraq War: 67 percent in an NBC News/Wall Street Journal (and the WSJ is a conservative newspaper) nationwide poll taken March 2-5 disapprove of "President" Bush's handling of Vietraq. In the same poll, 63 percent oppose the Bush regime's plan to send 21,500 more of our young people into the meat grinder that is Vietraq for the war profiteering of corporations like Dick Cheney's Halliburton (although, admittedly, the poll question wasn't framed exactly like that...). Also in that poll, 51 percent said they were concerned that Congress wouldn't go far enough in pressing the "president" to reduce troop levels in Iraq. 59 percent in a USA Today/Gallup nationwide poll taken March 2-4 said that the United States made a mistake in sending troops to Iraq. Which means, of course, that a huge chunk of Americans correctly believe that the whole Vietraq War has been one huge fucking mistake. In that same poll, 66 percent said that the United States either cannot win in Iraq (46 percent) or can win, but won't win (20 percent). In that same poll, 58 percent want the United States to withdraw from Iraq within no later than 12 months (20 percent favor an immediate withdrawal). 67 percent in a Newsweek poll taken Feb. 28 through March 1 disapprove of the way Bush is handling the Vietraq War. 71 percent in a CBS News/New York Times poll taken Feb. 23-27 disapprove of the way Bush is handling the Vietraq War (I know, I know, but the NYT is a librul newspaper). I don't fucking think that we can accuse all of those media organizations of manufacturing dissent. So to name a supposed documentary about Michael Moore "Manufacturing Dissent" when his signature piece is "Fahrenheit 9/11" and a clear majority of Americans are in agreement with Michael Moore that the Vietraq War is some way fucked-up shit is, to say the least, interesting. Even if Moore was in the minority when "Fahrenheit 9/11" came out in 2004, he's in the majority now, which, I dare say, (almost) would make him a fucking prophet. In summary, "Manufacturing Dissent" is a cute little take-off from liberal demigod Noam Chomsky's actually-available-on-DVD-from-amazon.com documentary "Manufacturing Consent," but what the fuck does it have to do with Michael Moore? How about a documentary about Melnyk and Caine called "Manufacturing 'Manufacturing Dissent'"? If Michael Moore made it, it would kick ass.  *That said, you might be shocked to learn that I support the Second Amendment; after all, you never know when you might have to take out some wingnut zombies (yeah, I know, that's redundant) who are coming after you for your brains because they have none of their own. (But seriously, while I don't think that we need rocket-propelled grenade launchers in our homes -- not yet, anyway -- I do support the Second Amendment.) 11:42:42 PM    Comments []

AFP photo Really not a Photoshop job: Wingnut hack Ann Cunter, who really should eat something and not induce vomiting afterward, has explained her "faggot" "joke" -- too late for the newspapers that have dropped her KKKolumn. Cunter 'splains her 'faggot' 'joke' and introducing Cunter's vulture, Barkin' Malkin!* I am going to do something that Ann Cunter would never do for me: I'm going to revisit a topic on Cunter because new information has come to light that makes Cunter look a teeny-tiny bit less like the stark raving mad wingnut whore that she is. The Associated Press quotes Cunter as having said that her "joke" at a recent KKK rally -- er, at a recent Kool Konservative Konvention -- that she would call Democratic presidential hopeful John Edwards a "faggot," except that that might land her in "rehab" was a reference to (these are the AP's words, not Cunter's) television show "'Grey's Anatomy' actor Isaiah Washington saying he would seek counseling after using the word ["faggot"] to refer to a fellow actor." The AP then immediately notes: "At least four daily newspapers have dropped Coulter as a columnist, citing her comment about Edwards." OK, a huge reason that Cunter's "faggot" "joke" wasn't funny is that the Isaiah Washington incident happened too long ago here in the United States of Amnesia for anyone to know, except for Ann Cunter, what the fuck she was talking about by saying that using the word "faggot" publicly might land her in "rehab." Cunter sorely needs a comedy coach. (What about that comedy coach in "Borat"? Is he available?) OK, now that I have some context for Cunter's "faggot" "joke," I can move her "joke" from a zero (on a Comedy Scale of zero to 10) to maybe a 3. I can't give it any higher than a 3 because timing is everything in comedy. You don't make a current-events joke weeks after the event occurred. Duh. I doubt that anyone in the room where Cunter delivered her "faggot" "joke" -- or any of the millions of people who read about it shortly thereafter -- knew that she was refering to Isaiah Washington's "faggot" moment. I surmise that the wingnuts in Cunter's presence laughed at the word "faggot" like a child on a playground would laugh at the word "faggot" and/or laughed out of a sense of duty -- their bony-ass Borg Queen** had just made a funny, and they didn't want to be (well, could they even be?) disobedient Borgs! Now, I actually could give Cunter's "faggot" "joke" a 5 -- maybe even a 6 -- on the Comedy Scale had she actually delivered it in a timely fucking fashion, except that, as usual, even in making a "joke," she twisted the facts into a "president"-gagging pretzel in order to support her dying dogma: Isaiah Washington wasn't sent to "rehab" because he called a co-worker a "faggot." In a January statement, Washington said, "I can also no longer deny to myself that there are issues I obviously need to examine within my own soul, and I've asked for help," and from what I gather from my Internet research, including this source, Washington's employer, ABC's Touchstone Television, had Washington get counseling for having called a co-worker a "faggot."*** Counseling and "rehab" are two different things. Even Cunter knows the difference, but "rehab" sounded better for the "joke." Further, Washington is fucking lucky that he didn't get fired for having called a co-worker a "faggot" (after he had choked another co-worker). If someone on the set of "Grey's Anatomy" had called Washington, who is black, a "nigger," you can bet that that person would have been fired, not just instructed to get counseling -- which is just yet another example of how it's still wide-open season on gay men and lesbians, how being gay is, as Air America Radio goddess Randi Rhodes has put it, "the new black." But wait. I'm not done. Cunter further explains her use of the word "faggot." On Sean Hannity's radio show, Cunter 'splained: "...I don't think there's anything offensive about any variation of 'faggy,' 'faggotry,' 'faggot,' 'fag.' It's a schoolyard taunt. It means -- it means wussy. It means, you know, Hillary giving a speech in a fake Southern drawl -- that's faggy. [???] A trial lawyer who weeps before juries is faggy. [It's manipulative if it isn't heartfelt, but "faggy"?] Lifetime-type TV -- faggy." In the same broadcast Cunter called "faggot" "a totally excellent word." I'm down with that! "Faggot" is, like, a totally excellent word! What do you call people like George W. Bush and Dick Cheney, who evaded ever serving in combat themselves, but sure the fuck talk tough while they send others to be maimed and slaughtered in combat for the war profits of Uncle Dick's Halliburton and the other war-profiteering subsidiaries of BushCheneyCorp? I mean, that's a pretty wussy thing to do, isn't it? You call them faggots! What do you call a member of the Marines who writes a totally gay editorial complaining (truthfully or untruthfully) that some female student at Columbia University has taunted him and that -- Waaaaaaaaaa! -- no one will do anything about it? A fucking faggot! Oh, yeah, I feel real safe knowing that a member of the U.S. Marines considers a female university student to be a big fucking threat to him, and that he refers to vocal anti-war Columbia University students as "snipers." Well, battling femiNazis at Columbia University is about as close to actual combat as Cpl. Matt "I Was a Former Gay Porn Star Named Rod Majors Before I Saw the Light on the Right" Sanchez, who has never been on the battlefield, is ever going to be. I expect him to be expelled from the Marines any day now -- according to a news story that I saw within the past 24 hours on both the Army Times' and the the Marine Corps Times' Web sites (an article that since has disappeared mysteriously from the Web sites and has been replaced with the message "That page has gone AWOL!"), the Marine Corps is investigating Cpl. Dirty Sanchez's homoerotic past. As more than one blogger has pointed out, it's pretty ironic that Sanchez supports the wingnuts, who are perfectly OK with gays -- uh, I mean, guys -- like him getting tossed from the U.S. military. But wait. I'm still not done. Sanchez's Warholian 15 minutes are up. Back to Cunter, who has about another minute to go: As I noted, newspapers are dropping Cunter's column like the piece of shit that it is. Media Matters reports that at least seven newspapers thus far have dropped Cunter's column because she publicly called John Edwards a "faggot." On his blog, Ted Rall -- who is just like Ann Cunter except that he's a man (although there is a lot of quasi-joking speculation on the Internet that Cunter is a biological man, too) and is intelligent and therefore is a left-winger like I am and isn't starving himself to death and bleaching his hair because he thinks that this is actually sexy, and therefore I might actually sleep with him (if his wife were OK with it, of course) -- writes: Right-wing campaigns to censor me after 9/11 were profoundly anti-American. Now that the left is ascendant, groups like the Human Rights Campaign are calling for Universal Press Syndicate -- which also distributes my work -- to drop columnist Ann Coulter. These campaigns, whether directed against Coulter or myself, are wrong. Censor the other side and you justify censoring your own side. If people are upset about Ann Coulter's anti-gay slur against John Edwards, they need to ridicule her. Or, better yet, just ignore her and move on.... Yeah, OK, OK, Rall makes a good point. I guess that we liberals don't want to become the evil that we oppose. But I want to see Cunter keep going for an entirely different reason: She -- like her partners in hypocrisy Tom DeLay, Scooter Libby, Mark Foley, "the Rev." Ted Haggard, Matt Sanchez/Rod Majors, et. al., et. al. -- are destroying the right wing, and that's perfectly fine with me. But when Cunter is finally finished, we'll still have (mostly lesser) wingnuts to slay. (No, I'm still not done. You'll know when I'm done, bitch!) Second-tier wingnut harpy Michelle Malkin -- whom I don't believe I've ever written about before because she's second-tier, B-list -- seems to be positioning herself to inherit Cunter's audience. Malkin is circling Cunter's flailing bony body like a vulture. Malkin, such as by publicly criticizing Cunter's "faggot" "joke" (not because calling someone a "faggot" is wrong, mind you, but because it might hurt the Repugniconservatives), is presenting herself as a kinder, gentler Cunter, and when the house finally drops on Cunter and we Munchkins Who Are Destroying the West are celebrating, Malkin, who had been circling overhead on her broom, will swoop down to fill the wingnut vacuum that Cunter's crushed skeleton has left -- if we don't knock that bitch off her broomstick right now. This is a sample of Malkin, defending Matt Sanchez/Rod Majors on her pathetic blog (Malkin, you see, like Cunter and even Newt Gingrich and other assorted wingnuts, also had been photographed with Sanchez/Majors before any of them knew that he has given head and fucked other men up the ass on video and that anyone can buy or rent these videos, and I'm starting to think that I'm about the only person on the planet who hasn't had his picture taken with Sanchez/Majors, although I have jerked off to at least two of his videos): Last night, hate-filled liberals on MSNBC attemped to smear Marine Corporal Matt Sanchez and conservatives who honored him at CPAC [that's the Conservative Political Action Conference, that Kool Konservative Konvention that I was talking about earlier] for his support of the military at Columbia University. They gleefully showed photos of Cpl. Sanchez at the event -- including ones I took -- in mockery after his gay porn past was outed by left-wing blogs. They cackled "Semper Fi." I said the other day I thought CPAC organizers would be justified in being embarrassed if the rumors about Sanchez's porn star past 15 years ago turned out to be true. Well, the rumors are true. But it is neither CPAC nor Cpl. Sanchez who should feel embarrassed. [Funny! If Malkin says it, that makes it true, right? Because words, when used by a wingnut, are magic! Oh, puhfuckinglease. Sanchez might not feel embarrassed -- I mean, he had gay sex in front of cameras for the distribution of God-knows-how-many videos, for fuck's sake -- but you fucking know that the CPAC is as embarrassed as hell that they just gave an award to a guy who starred in "Tijuana Toilet Tramps," "Wet Dreams" and "Jawbreaker."] It's the nasty, gloating liberals who claim to stand for tolerance, privacy, human rights, and compassion. I predicted the other day that left-wing bigotry would rear its ugly head. I was right. [You're a fucking prophet, Malkin!] The e-mail I've received is more disgusting than anything Ann Coulter stupidly said at CPAC. And I can imagine the vitriol Cpl. Sanchez is enduring. Malkin -- who dares to say that anyone else "cackled" anything (much like Cunter calling those 9/11 widows who aren't wingnuts "harpies") -- then goes on to include a Bible quote to defend Sanchez/Majors. Funny how the wingnuts use the Bible to condemn liberal faggots to hell but somehow find passages in the Bible that ensure that right-wing faggots (yeah, I know, I know, Matt/Rod, you're not gay even though you've given guys head and fucked them up the ass on camera and were a male escort) will go to heaven. It's that last paragraph of Malkin's that I excerpted that I especially want to deconstruct. OK: Tolerance: I am pretty fucking tolerant. I have no problem with Sanchez's/Majors' gay porn past. It would be hypocritical of me to consume as much gay porn as I do and then to bash gay porn stars just for being gay porn stars. If a former gay porn star had no STDs and we had good chemistry and he actually wanted to get it on with me (there's the real clincher, as the George Costanza look isn't real big within the gay community), I'd be all over him. I'd even date Matt Sanchez/Rod Majors if he were interested in me, except that I know where he has been: He has touched Ann Cunter and Michelle "Cunter Vulture" Malkin, among other assorted wingnuts. (But seriously, that probably would be the biggest deal breaker for me: If I guy were a wingnut. There's no way in hell that I'd rub nasties with a right-wing gay guy. Oh, hell fucking no!) It is true that I have no tolerance for the wingnuts who are destroying the United States of America, from shitting and pissing upon the American democracy, such as by blatantly stealing presidential elections, to starting bogus wars that will make the United States much more likely, not less likely, to be a target of terrorism for generations to come. Yeah, admittedly, Malkin might have me there. Privacy: Sanchez/Majors has complained on his blog that people are looking up his address and other personal information and then e-mailing him with the (correct or incorrect) personal information about him that they have obtained. (Again, for a big tough Marine, Sanchez/Major sure the fuck cries a lot.) While I don't think that it is technically an invasion of privacy if anyone can access this information on the Internet, assuming that Sanchez/Majors is telling the truth about it, I do believe that it is creepy and wrong for people to be doing that kind of shit to Sanchez/Majors -- especially since he has demonstrated how sensitive and delicate he is (really, read that gay editorial of his that I linked to above). I mean, C'mon, guys, cut it out! You've made him cry! But seriously, as much as he nauseates me -- and even though I don't think that I can ever jack off to him again, knowing now that he is a wingnut (in all seriousness, I found my pirated VHS copy of his 1990s gay porn video "Idol Country" yesterday, but I haven't tried to watch it again yet; if I do, I'll let you know how it goes [or doesn't go]) -- no one should be stalking or cyberstalking Sanchez/Majors. But to say that Sanchez's/Majors' privacy has been violated, as Malkin means it, is total fucking bullshit. Look, a guy who values his privacy so much doesn't star in several popular gay porn flicks, as Sanchez/Majors did in the 1990s. A guy who values his privacy so much doesn't go on FOX "News" shows, as Sanchez/Majors has done as of late. Sanchez/Majors is a publicity hound. It's not like he's hiding in his home, trying to keep to himself, trying to quietly lead his post-gay-porn life and we "hate-filled liberals" just won't let him be the private person that he wants to be. It's not like he was just minding his own fucking business and we "nasty, gloating liberals" just up and dug up dirt from his past. He went on national wingnut network television, where of course someone was going to recognize him from his gay porn days. Matt Sanchez, you really want privacy? Then go back into obscurity, where you went after your gay porn career of the 1990s ended. Otherwise, stop crying. It's conduct unbecoming. Finally on the topic of "privacy": Malkin wrote that Sanchez's "gay porn past was outed by left-wing blogs" (emphasis mine). Although we live in the United States of Amnesia, let's not forget what it actually means to "out" someone. The orthodox definition of "outing" is the exposing of someone as gay when that faggot is publicly leading an anti-gay crusade but is privately having gay sex. (Gee, for some reason "the Rev." Ted Haggard and former Repugnican Rep. Mark "Melikes Teenage Male Pages" Foley come to mind...) The purpose of "outing" is not to say that homosexuality is wrong -- because it isn't -- but is to expose the hypocrisy. "Outing," over the years, has pretty much come to mean to divulge any gay man's homosexuality, usually when he wouldn't want his homosexuality divulged, and while I'm not crazy about that too-broad definition, you certainly can't fucking "out" a gay porn star. Jesus Fucking Mother of Christ. Matt Sanchez, as Rod Majors (and as at least one other gay-porn pseudonym, but mostly as Rod Majors), did all kinds of interesting things with other dudes on camera for commercial mass distribution. (Don't make me show you more pictures!) These weren't private, homemade sex tapes that some bitter ex of his released against his wishes. So when Matt Sanchez resurfaces to the public spotlight and people point out that he used to go by the nom de porn of Rod Majors, let's not fucking say that he was "outed," mmmmmk? Because he fucking wasn't. Again, so that we are crystal clear on this matter, and repeat after me: You cannot "out" a former gay porn star. A former or a current gay porn star has foregone his sexual privacy. Fucking duh. Human rights: I believe that Sanchez/Majors has the human right and the constitutional right to be as big a pathetic hypocritical assbite as he wants to be, as long as he doesn't hurt anyone (and with his actually calling his fellow Columbia University students "snipers," I think we have to wonder whether he might snap and go all Columbine on his classmates [note to Sanchez/Majors: this would be a really bad idea, because as you haven't actually seen combat, you couldn't use combat-related PTSD as a defense]). I believe that despite her uber-smug mug on the home page of her Web site -- really, that's a face that you could just throw darts at -- and despite her apparent belief, like Cunter's, that Real Women Don't Eat -- -- which is great fucking role modeling for our young women -- and despite her frequent use of such hyper-intellectual phrases that are just too fucking cerebral for me to comprehend (such as "those mean and nasty doo-doo-head liberals" [not an actual quote, for those of you who are literal-minded, which would most likely make you wingnuts]), Michelle Malkin probably shouldn't be sent to the Guantanamo Bay Concentration Camp or to the Abu Ghraib House of Horrors, where they might give her the force-feeding that she so desperately needs. Probably. But seriously, just like I didn't get Cunter's "faggot" "joke," I have no idea what the fuck Malkin is barking about when she insinuates that we doo-doo-head liberals are bad on human rights, on which the Repugnicans are so manifestly fucking great. Compassion: Hmmm. Again, I don't really care whether Sanchez/Majors is straight or gay or somewhere in between (I understand that he did bisexual porn flicks as well), although I say, in all seriousness, that he has had a fuck of a lot more man-on-man action than I've ever had (unlike most gay men my age -- I'm pushing 40 -- I can count on fewer than two full-fingered hands the number of men with whom I've rubbed nasties, and no, none of these too-rare events have ever been videotaped or filmed). My problem with Sanchez/Majors isn't that he was a gay porn star and a male escort. Or even that I oppose militarism, which only benefits the war profiteers like Dick Cheney's Halliburton, and that he is in the Marines (even though he was a gay porn star and a male escort). My problem with Sanchez/Majors is that he embraces the Repugnican Party, which, among many other things, ignored the AIDS epidemic for years while gay men, most of them young, dropped like flies, and which uses anti-gay bigotry, including opposition to same-sex marriage (memo to Malkin: same-sex marriage rights are human rights, bitch), for political gain. And which is full of hypocrites like Mark Foley, Ted Haggard and Sanchez/Majors (the first two of whom could be and were outed, but the last of whom, remember, could not be outed and thus was not outed). And even though they were his bread and (man-)butter for several years, Sanchez/Majors is now bashing the gay community. Those are the problems that I have with Sanchez/Majors, and the only reason that Malkin and her ilk are defending Sanchez/Majors now is that, like their Grand Dragon, George W. Bush, they don't fucking want to admit a mistake. Do you think for one fucking nanosecond that had Barkin' Malkin known, before her picture was taken with Cpl. Matt Sanchez, that he used to be one Rod Majors who starred in such productions as "Donkey Dick," "Beat-Off Frenzy" and "Manticipation," she'd have had her picture taken with him? Do you think for one fucking nanosecond that Sanchez/Majors would have received the Jeane "Kill 'Em All and Let God Sort 'Em Out!" Kirkpatrick Jingo of the Year Award at the Kool Konservative Konvention at which Cunter called John Edwards a "faggot" if anyone who coordinated the konvention had known about Cpl. Sanchez's past? Oh, hell fucking no! Yet here's the emaciated Malkin telling us liberals that we don't wuv Matt Sanchez/Rod Majors enough. Hey, Michelle, have you "loved" Rod Majors in the privacy of your own home? I have -- many times! (Well, not recently. And again, I'm not sure if I can ever do it again, knowing what I know now, but still!...) In all seriousness, I have as much compassion for a spotlight-addicted egomanic like Matt Sanchez/Rod Majors as I can possibly muster. I have a hard time feeling Malkin's supposed pain over the "vitriol" that Sanchez/Majors is "enduring." He fucking put himself into his own fucking mess. And like the Repugnicans wouldn't gleefully gloat if one of their Borgs had discovered that some Democrat or liberal now in the media limelight had had a past as a porn star and/or an "escort." Oh, no! I'm sure that they would show nothing but the "tolerance, privacy, human rights, and compassion" that Michelle Malkin so certainly values and so valiantly defends -- when we're talking about a fellow wingnut of hers. Word, Michelle Malkin: Like in "Kill Bill," Cunter's name is being crossed off the doo-doo-head liberals' hit list as I type this sentence. And you're next on the list. We "snipers" want your scalp -- just like in "Kill Bill." And we'll get it, because unlike the harder-to-kill Borg Queen Cunter, you're just a little Borg princess, a Borg Queen wannabe who ain't never gonna be. Update: Guess what? That news story about Sanchez/Majors that mysteriouisly disappeared the Army Times' and the Marine Corps Times' Web sites -- the story that says the Marine Corps is investigating Sanchez/Major -- well, I just discovered that I had left open the window containing the news story among many windows that I left open on my computer from last night. I am copying and pasting the now-vanished news story into the comments section for this post so you can read it for yourself. I'm glad that I always leave so many windows open... Here is the meat of the story, though, the money shot, as they say in Sanchez's previous career. The military propagan -- er, news -- writer saved the best for last: While Sanchez says he has put his gay porn past behind him, the Marine Corps hasn’t. Homosexual behavior is prohibited by an article of the Uniform Code of Military Justice that forbids “sodomy.” As a member of the IRR, Sanchez falls under the authority of Marine Corps Mobilization Command in Kansas City, Mo., where the commanding general’s staff judge advocate, Lt. Col. Michael Blessing, has begun an inquiry into the revelations about his past, according to command spokesman Shane Darbonne. “We’re looking into it and we’re going to verify facts and determine if any further action is warranted,” Darbonne said. As of Friday afternoon, officials at Marine Forces Reserve in New Orleans were unable to confirm whether Sanchez had enlisted prior to the end of his film career or if Reserve Marines were prohibited from doing porn when not in a drilling status. Sanchez has not returned phone calls seeking comment. He joined the Corps May 14, 2003 and is a refrigeration mechanic. On Friday officials at Marine Corps Recruiting Command were unable to say whether past participation in gay porn disqualifies a potential enlistee because it was unclear how the current “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy might apply. *OK, so I've done much better than "Barkin' Malkin." Cut me some fucking slack. I've just started to tear Malkin to pieces and I'm sure that soon I'll come up with something better. In the meantime, if you want me to refund your subscription, let me know. **Information on the Borg Queen is here. Here is a picture of the Borg Queen, who looks like a better-fed Ann Cunter without bleached-blonde hair: Unlike the case is with Ann Cunter, I might actually fuck the Borg Queen, who's much hotter. ***ABC apparently wanted us to think that it really was Washington's idea, but I highly doubt that Washington initiated the idea. It's funny when an apparent thug like Washington -- who also apparently choked another male co-worker in a fit of rage -- is forced to make public statements that you know are about as authentic and heartfelt as are the political statements that kidnapping terrorists force their kidnapped victims read before a videocamera. 2:05:40 PM    Comments []