Associated Press photo
Jerry Falwell wildly exaggerates during an interview in June 2006.
Oh, damn! I'm dead!
The long overdue death of Jerry Falwell at age 73 today made me think:
Who are the top 10 other evil wingnuts I'd also like to see dead?*
They are, in this order**:
1. Dick Cheney
2. George W. Bush (Have another pretzel, Mr. "President"!)
3. Karl Rove (a.k.a. "Bush's brain")
4. Donald Rumsfeld (I don't care that he resigned)
5. Rudy Giuliani (nip it in the bud!)
6. Ann Cunter (I'm all for equal opportunity)
7. Rush Limbaugh
8. Bill O'Reilly
9. John McCain
10. Pat Robertson
Honorable mentions: Condoleezza Rice, every single fucking member of the Bush crime family, Alberto Gonzales, Mitt Romney, Benedict Lieberman
Anyway, Falwell's pathetic life can be summed up in just a few pictures:
Associated Press photo, 1980
They're together again -- in hell. (No, not really. When the demons brought each of them to the gates of hell, Satan said, "Oh, hell no! I ain't havin' him!")
From Hustler magazine, 1983
 
Associated Press photo, 2000
Associated Press photo, May 2006
Falwell, shown with John McCain, celebrating the U.S. Postal Service's decision to give Falwell his own personal ZIP Code.
The last photograph taken of Falwell, taken today before he died of a "heart attack."
*Note to Homeland Security: I'm talking about death by natural causes only. Of course.
**Well, Nos. 1 through 4 definitely are in order, and I definitely keep Cunter in the top six. I might be willing to switch around the others.
Update (Sunday, May 20, 2007): OK, I want to revise my Top 10 Wingnuts Whose Deaths I'd Celebrate List:
1. Dick Cheney
2. George W. Bush
3. Karl Rove
4. Donald Rumsfeld
5. Rudy Giuliani
6. Ann Cunter
7. Rush Limbaugh
8. Pope Palpatine
9. James Dobson
10. Pat Robertson
I've added Pope Palpatine and James Dobson to the list and I've removed John McCain and Bill O'Reilly from the top 10 and into the honorable mentions category.
McCain is a dick, but I can't see him winning the Repugnican presidential nomination, so I suppose that he isn't too much of a threat. If McCain starts to overcome Giuliani, I suppose that I'll put McCain back on the list, and should Giuliani's status as front-runner change dramatically, I suppose that I can put him lower on the list or even remove him from the list.
And while O'Reilly is a dick too, I don't ever watch FOX and so I can't say exactly how much of dick he is, and since Limbaugh is the grand-daddy of the wingnut commentators, it seems enough to leave Limbaugh on the list.
I'm adding Pope Palpatine to the list because, frankly, not being a recovered Catholic, I wasn't even really thinking of him when I originally composed the top 10 list. But he needs to be in the top 10 because of his degree of evil and his degree of influence.
What spurred me to add Pope Palpatine to the list was his recent comments in Brazil in which he stated that those in Latin America shouldn't be slaves to capitalism or to communism, but to the Catholic Church. It's not that Pope Palpatine has a problem with people being slaves; it's just that he wants them to be his slaves.
Pope Palpatine also surreally recently asserted in Brazil that the natives of Latin America just couldn't wait to be conquered by the Spanish (a coalition of the throne of Spain, most notably the throne's military, and the Catholic Church) and forcibly converted to Catholicism. Reports The Associated Press:
[Pope Palpatine] also defended the church's campaign centuries ago to Christianize indigenous people, saying Latin American Indians had been "silently longing" to become Christians when Spanish and Portuguese conquerors violently took over their native lands centuries ago.
"In effect, the proclamation of Jesus and of his gospel did not at any point involve an alienation of the pre-Columbus cultures, nor was it the imposition of a foreign culture," he told the bishops.
This is what you would call A Total Fucking Colossal Evil Lie, and the fucking pope isn't supposed to tell Total Fucking Colossal Evil Lies, but the current pope is a wolf in pope's clothing, which is why I can only call him Pope Palpatine.
To give just two of many examples of how the Spanish conquerors abused the natives of Latin America and the natives of what are now parts of the United States, it is common knowledge among historians that Spanish conqueror Christopher Columbus had the hands of natives lopped off if they didn't bring him enough gold for the Spanish crown, and the natives the Spanish kept in their missions in Mexico and in what is now California and other parts of what is now the U.S. Southwest were not free to leave, but were prisoners. Those who tried to flee the missions were tracked down, brought back and severely punished (if they weren't killed), just as runaway black slaves were later in the United States.
The natives were not, contrary to Pope Palpatine's blatantly satanic lies, just itchin' to be forcibly converted to Catholicism any more than the Jews were just itchin' to be exterminated by the Nazis.
I would put Pope Palpatine higher on the list, but at age 80, he should be going to hell fairly soon.
James Dobson is one of the most influential, if not the most influential, Christofascist leaders in the United States. He is head of the Colorado-based Focus on the Family, and his influence is such that his recent announcement that he will not vote for Rudy Giuliani because Giuliani isn't Christofascist-friendly enough is not good news for Giuliani.
But it's actually good news for those of us Americans who are sane, because Giuliani is probably the most electable (in the 2008 general presidential election, I mean) of the current crop of Repugnican presidential wannabes.
In their primary season, the Repugnicans can either pick their ideological favorite -- that is, the candidate who is the most evil and the most hateful and the most anti-anyone-who-isn't-a-stupid-white-man -- or they can pick the candidate whom Americans at large are most likely to vote for. Of the Repugnican front-runners, Giuliani, although he's a certified wingnut, most successfully comes across as a fairly sane moderate and thus as the most electable.
So maybe I shouldn't include Dobson in the top 10, since he's helping the Repugnican Party lose the White House in 2008. But it's the thought that counts, and Dobson's thoughts are nothing but pure evil. If he had his way, we'd have another good-old-fashioned Spanish Inquisition right here in the United States today.
With which Pope Palpatine would be perfectly fine, except that it wouldn't be the Catholic Church doing the torturing and the maiming and the killing.
9:00:28 PM 
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