Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Al-Qaeda to attack U.S.! There once was a shepherd boy who was bored as he sat on the hillside watching the village sheep. To amuse himself, he took a great breath and sang out, "Wolf! Wolf! The wolf is chasing the sheep!" The villagers came running up the hill to help the boy drive the wolf away. But when they arrived at the top of the hill, they found no wolf. The boy laughed at the sight of their angry faces. "Don't cry 'wolf', shepherd boy," said the villagers, "when there's no wolf!" They went grumbling back down the hill. Later, the boy sang out again, "Wolf! Wolf! The wolf is chasing the sheep!" To his naughty delight, he watched the villagers run up the hill to help him drive the wolf away. When the villagers saw no wolf, they sternly said, "Save your frightened song for when there is really something wrong! Don't cry 'wolf' when there is no wolf!" But the boy just grinned and watched them go grumbling down the hill once more. Later, he saw a real wolf prowling about his flock. Alarmed, he leaped to his feet and sang out as loudly as he could, "Wolf! Wolf!" But the villagers thought he was trying to fool them again, and so they didn't come. At sunset, everyone wondered why the shepherd boy hadn't returned to the village with their sheep. They went up the hill to find the boy. They found him weeping. "There really was a wolf here!" he cried. "The flock has scattered! I cried out, 'Wolf!' Why didn't you come?" An old man said to the boy as they walked back to the village: "Nobody believes a liar -- even when he is telling the truth!" [Link to the original version of this little tale here.] 11:25:56 PM    Comments []

Pope Palpatine finally declared himself Emperor last week when he asserted that the Roman Catholic Church is the only Christian church there is. Catholic Church needs last rites It's funny. One week Pope Palpatine is distinguishing the Roman Catholic Church from all of the other Christian churches, saying that those other churches aren't actually Christian.* This week, in the wake of the news that the Catholic Church must cough up a record $660 million -- really, why didn't they just make it an even $666 million? -- to the 500-plus victims of pedophilic priests in Los Angeles, the Vatican is awfully quick to point out that other Christian churches have their pedophiles, too. I don't argue that that isn't true, but I find it awfully fucking interesting that the Catholic Church will claim a monopoly on God and Jesus, but that when it's something negative, the Catholic Church is quite quick to recognize the other churches. But I have to ask: If the Catholic Church is the one and only true Christian church, then how can it claim that other Christian churches also have their share of pedophilic predators? I mean, other Christian churches don't even exist -- right? Isn't that what the infuckingfallible pope just fucking told us? This down-the-rabbit-hole "logic" is a symptom of the fact that the Catholic Church is dying. Call a priest! (Just hide the children first!) Ironically, it's Pope Palpatine who is largely responsible for killing the Catholic Church. He seems to believe that the way to strengthen the church is to make the church more fundamentalist and more conservative, so he's trying to roll back the church's liberal advances of the past several decades. All that he's doing, of course, is speeding up the church's extinction. While Pope Palpatine tries to drag us back to the Dark Ages, the world moves on -- with or without the Roman Catholic Church. History has shown that wingnuts can slow down the spiritual evolution of mankind, but that they can't halt it altogether.  If the Catholic Church doesn't evolve -- such as by allowing contraception in a world that is plagued by overpopulation, by not claiming to have a monopoly on God like Islam and Judaism do (thus fueling interreligious violence), and by stopping its patriarchal, misogynistic, homophobic bullshit when the world's people are becoming less and less patriarchal, misogynistic and homophobic themselves -- then it will disappear. Gee, I guess that I hope that it doesn't evolve... Keep it up, Pope Palpatine! You're doing a heckuva job, Bennie! *Well, what the assbite actually asserts is that those churches aren't actually churches, but let's face it, the not-very-well-hidden message in that is that they're not Christian but that the Roman Catholic Church is. 9:40:02 PM    Comments []