Associated Press photo
Presumptive 2008 Repugnican presidential candidate John McCain, flanked by well-preserved wife Cindy, proclaims today that he is innocent of marital infidelity. His advisers should be shot; this is the first sign of life that we've seen from McCain in years, so he should take full credit for having banged some young thang -- even if he didn't.
How can this hurt McCain?
(and fuck you, 'Proud' Cindy)
It seems to me that Repugnican John McCain's biggest negative is the doubt that the 71-year-old fossil actually will make it to Election Day. Aren't the Repugnicans tripping over each other to be McCain's running mate, figuring that it probably would be no more than a matter of days before they'd ascend to the presidency after the crusty McCain's death from natural causes?
So news that McCain might have boned some lobbyist (a lobbyist for the telecommunications industry, not for the erectile dysfunction pharmaceutical industry -- and yes, a female lobbyist, although the recent Repugnican sex scandals have been Brokeback ones) on the side would be good for him -- right? You go, old man! Right?
Anyway, the wingnuts are agog that The New York Times and the Washington Post actually would publish the allegations that McCain had an extramarital affair with a lobbyist. So of course the Repugnicans sent out an e-mail today (I'm on their e-mail list -- I like to keep tabs on the enemy) urging supporters to "Please make an urgent secure online contribution of $1,000, $500, $100, $50, or $25 to help the [Repugnican National Committee] get our responsible message of lower taxes, a strong national defense, and limited government past the liberal media filter and directly to the voters."
It's cute: If you're FOX "News" and are blatantly pro-Repugnican, you're a legitimate media operation, in the eyes of the wingnuts, but should you say anything that the wingnuts don't want you to say, such as that the presumptive 2008 Repugnican presidential candidate apparently porked a lobbyist, making you wonder what "pork barrel" really means, then you are part of "the liberal media filter."
Aren't most Americans -- by now -- beyond being duped by either the Repugnicans or the Democrats who ask for "urgent secure contributions" whenever there is some political controversy? Controversy = kaaa-ching! This shit is getting older than John McCain.
Anyway, of course Cindy McCain, the missus, stands by her man. Not that she's just itching to become first lady or anything! Surely she'd just come right out and say, "Yes, it's true; the motherfucking bastard has been cheating on me." So of course she's telling the truth when she huffs, "My children and I not only trust my husband, but know that he would never do anything to not only disappoint our family, but disappoint the people of America. He's a man of great character."
Laura Bush says what a swell fucking guy Gee Dubya is, too...
Anyway, I have no sympathy for Missus McCain, who this past week smeared the wife of Barack Obama.
Obama's wife Michelle on Monday publicly stated, "For the first time in my adult life, I am really proud of my country. Not just because Barack is doing well, but I think people are hungry for change."
Now, I think it's pretty clear what Michelle Obama, our next first lady, meant; I interpret her words to mean that Mrs. Obama was happy that for the first time in the history of the United States of America, a man whose skin is not lily white could be doing so well in the contest for the White House.*
But the smug Cindy McCain, who looks like a petrified Barbie doll, had to chime in: "I have, and always will be, proud of my country."
Cindy Lily White McCain was born into a rich white family. The former cheerleader and rodeo queen is a fucking beer-distribution company heiress. She's probably never known a real problem in her entire overprivileged life. Of course she wuvs her country, the country that makes it possible for clueless, overcomfortable people like her to live in ridiculous excess at the expense of the millions of working Americans who go without enough.
For Mrs. Obama to feel really great about her husband's success is understandable. For her to feel really great about her nation, which apparently is ready -- finally -- to elect, for the very first time, a non-white individual as president, for Mrs. Obama to feel about her country now in a way that she's never felt before, is entirely understandable.
Unless you're someone like Cindy Barbie Doll McCain, who's lived a life of hyper-privilege and hyper-comfort made possible by the pain and suffering of those who might just right about now be feeling, perhaps even for the first time, some degree of hope that the rule of their nation by stupid white men is about to come to a grinding halt.
So fuck you, Cindy McCain. I'm giddily happy to see that within a week of your bullshit "I'm-more-patriotic-than-thou" slam against Mrs. Obama, you are now embarrassed by -- and your hoped-for stint in the White House is threatened by -- the news that your stupid-white-man husband might have cheated on you.
Rarely does karma work this fast.
*That's just my own interpretation, though. Mrs. Obama clarified her comment herself: "What I was clearly talking about was that I'm proud in how Americans are engaging in the political process. For the first time in my lifetime, I'm seeing people rolling up their sleeves in a way that I haven't seen and really trying to figure this out -- and that's the source of pride that I was talking about."
11:43:43 PM 
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